Bella Hadid opened up about her battles with mental health and physical re-education in an incredibly candid interview with Vogue magazine.
During the chat, the 25-year-old model, who previously claimed she hadn’t had any plastic surgery, revealed that she had a nose job at the age of just 14 and now regrets it.
Bella also spoke at length about her struggles with body image and mental health, admitting she always felt “ugly” and “uncool” compared to older sister Gigi, reflecting on her struggles with anorexia and seeking treatment for depression.
Half Dutch, half Palestinian, Bella said of her plastic surgery: “I wish I could keep my ancestors’ nose. I think I’d grow up to him.”
Candide: Bella Hadid revealed she had nose surgery at 14 and feels like Gigi’s ‘ugly’ sister as she discussed plastic surgery and body image issues in a candid Vogue cover shoot.
However, she insisted that a rhinoplasty was the only procedure she had done, continuing: “People think I completely messed up my face because of one picture of me looking swollen as a teenager. I’m pretty sure you don’t look like you did when you were 13, right?
“I have never used filler. Let’s just get this over with. I don’t have a problem with it, but it’s not for me. Who thinks that I got my eyes up or whatever it’s called – it’s a face tape! The oldest trick in the book.
Bella went on to note that criticism of her appearance made her feel like she was unworthy of being called a supermodel.
She explained, “I had impostor syndrome where people made me feel like I didn’t deserve anything. People always have something to say, but I have to say that I have always been misunderstood in my industry and the people around me.”
The saying: The 25-year-old model previously claimed she didn’t have any plastic surgery but admitted she had a job in a candid chat with Vogue magazine as a teenager.
Growing up with a supermodel for her older sister did not help either: Bella noted that she had compared herself all her life to 26-year-old Gigi.
She explained, “I was an ugly sister. I was a brunette. I wasn’t as cool as Gigi, not as outgoing. This is really what people have said about me. And, unfortunately, when you are told so many times, you just believe it.
“I always ask myself, as a girl with incredible insecurities, anxiety, depression, body image problems, food problems, who hates being touched, who has a lot of social anxiety — what did I do when I got into this business? But over the years I have become a good actress.
Coming soon: The April 2022 issue of Vogue hits newsstands nationwide on March 29.
“I put on a very smiling or very strong face. I always felt like I had something to prove. People can say whatever they want about the way I look, the way I talk, the way I act. But in seven years I have never missed work, never canceled work, never been late for work. No one can ever say that I don’t work hard.”
While Bella spent her teenage years in Gigi’s shadow, she admitted she struggled to remember her early years due to a “childhood trauma” she never mentioned again.
Bella is the daughter of Palestinian Jordanian real estate developer Mohamed Hadid and former Dutch model Yolanda Hadid.
Like older sister Gigi, Bella grew up with model brother Anwar, 22, on a Santa Barbara, California ranch before the family moved to Beverly Hills.
Bella suffered from mental health issues as a child and was revealed to have developed anorexia in high school.
Bella was prescribed Adderall long-acting for her inattention, as they believed she had ADHD, but the appetite-suppressing effect of the drug caused the eating disorder.
She recalled: “I was on this calorie counting app, which was like the devil to me. I packed my little lunch with three raspberries and a stick of celery. I just tried, as I now understand, to control myself, while I felt that I could not control everything else.
Although Bella says she now has a healthy relationship with food, she still struggles with dysmorphic feelings, admitting, “I still can barely look in the mirror because of that period in my life.”
Fresh face: Bella revealed she had nose surgery at the age of 14 (pictured left before surgery in 2010), but admitted she regrets the procedure as she thinks she “would have grown up to her.”
Her work in the fashion industry hasn’t helped her deal with her self-doubt as Bella discusses the industry’s toxic underside and models’ unrealistic expectations.
She recalled, “I had girls on my knees crying at me at 4 am, still on fitting for a show when they were supposed to be at another show at 7 am, totally ruined, hair burnt, not eating anything. , exhausted to the point that they are shaking.
“Finally girls are against sample sizes, but when I first started seven years ago, I couldn’t fit into Saint Laurent. And I remember the stylist talking about my weight because I couldn’t zip up. In hindsight, I think so, because Saint Laurent’s runway sample size didn’t fit anyone.
“But then you think that something is wrong with you, and no one around you says: no, no, you’re fine, don’t worry, the size is small. They kind of just look at you like we’re about to wear something different. And you think it’s probably me.”
Comparisons: Bella didn’t feel worthy of being considered a supermodel, and growing up with a supermodel for an older sister didn’t help either, as Bella noted that she’s been comparing herself to 26-year-old Gigi all her life (pictured in 2019)
She went on to state that the fashion industry can “make you or break you” and she needs to work hard to not neglect her mental health.
Bella explained, “Waking up every morning with this brain is not cute. So now everything I do in my personal life is literally aimed at keeping my mental state above water.
Fashion can make you or break you. And if it forces you, you must make a conscious effort every day so that it does not break you. There is always a little grief in love.
Bella tried to deal with her demons in private and admitted that she started her days in hysterical tears before she put her feelings aside and went to work.
She said: “For the three years that I worked, I woke up every morning in hysterics, in tears, alone. I wouldn’t show this to anyone. I would go to work, cry at dinner in my little green room, end my day, go to whatever random little hotel I was in for the night, cry again, wake up in the morning and do the same.”
Eventually the problem became so serious that she had to sign up for two weeks at a treatment facility to relax and take some time off from work.
She explained, “For so long, I didn’t know what I was crying about. I always felt so lucky, and that made me even more upset. There were people online saying, “You’re living this amazing life.” Then how can I complain?
“I always felt like I didn’t have the right to complain, which meant I didn’t have the right to get help, which was my first problem.”
The April 2022 issue of Vogue will be available on newsstands nationwide on March 29.
Flashbacks: Bella said she struggles to remember her early years due to a ‘childhood trauma’ she no longer touched (pictured with mother Yolanda, sister Gigi and brother Anwar)