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Published September 19, 2023, 7:13 p.m. ET
An anonymous bride on Reddit has claimed that her wedding was ruined by cake smashing, and her post has prompted social media users and etiquette experts to debate whether the tradition can be harmful.
The bride, who says she is 27, took to the AITAH subreddit, where users of the app can vote on who is to blame in a civil dispute.
The bride asked if it was wrong to suddenly leave her wedding after her husband hit her in the face with cake in front of all the guests.
She wrote that she knew her husband found “cake smashing videos” funny and asked him not to do that to her because she doesn’t like the tradition.
She also wrote that her family “smashed the cake,” and at age 17 she suffered a cut on her forehead with “profuse bleeding” when her mother pushed her face into her birthday cake. A cake decoration was reportedly the cause of the cut, she claimed.
“I told him if he ever did something like that to me I would leave him,” the bride wrote of her husband. “He started laughing, but I was serious.”
An anonymous bride on Reddit has claimed a cake smashing incident ruined her wedding.Getty Images/iStockphoto
The bride wrote that she felt like her wedding day went perfectly, but it was ruined when her husband took “a huge piece” of wedding cake and smashed it in her face. She claims she left the venue immediately despite her husband and family trying to get her to stay.
“This was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives and he embarrassed me in front of everyone because of a prank he knew I hated,” the bride wrote. “Not only that, but he ruined a $500 cake. He ruined my makeup, my hair, and the top of my dress. The cake has become everywhere.”
The bride asked Reddit users if her departure was an overreaction, but many seem to think she was right to leave, according to the post’s 12,500 comments and 31,200 upvotes.
“I think stunts like this are cancelable, but that’s just me,” one Reddit user wrote.
“This isn’t just a cake or a prank, this is complete disrespect,” another user wrote.
“He had one job and that job was not to hit his fiancée in the face with cake,” another commenter added.
Dissenting commenters were widely dismissed, but some expressed that they believed the bride should not have left the wedding venue.
“If all it takes is a cake in the face, I don’t want to be there when things get really tough,” one Reddit user wrote.
“Why is everyone who comes here unable to play a good sport,” another user asked. “Did you blow up your life because you couldn’t throw the cake back in his face?”
“Yes [Original Poster] is overdramatic. Laugh about it and talk about it after the wedding,” another user wrote.
The bride asked Reddit users if her departure was an overreaction, but many seem to think she was right to leave.Getty Images/iStockphoto
Wedding cake smashed: experts comment
Jodi Smith, an etiquette expert and coach at Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting in Marblehead, Massachusetts, told Fox News Digital that engaged couples should have “a lot of preemptive conversations” about logistics and preferences before the big day.
“How you cut the cake and feed each other is absolutely part of it,” she said.
If both parties agree to throw cake in each other’s faces, they can adopt the tradition without any problem because they agreed as a couple, Smith said.
People who try to surprise a partner with a slice of cake are putting themselves at risk of upsetting their significant other and damaging their relationship, Smith warned.
“The day of a wedding should not be the time to toughen up the new spouse,” she continued. “For most couples, trying to humiliate each other in order to go viral on the day they’re supposed to declare their love in front of their friends and family is a huge red flag.”
Smith warned that public and targeted humiliation can be emotionally “destructive” to the recipient and contribute to a loss of trust.
Stained wedding attire, accidental slips and falls and possible injuries could happen if someone hits cake on another person’s face or pushes another person’s face into a cake, she noted.
“Rebuilding trust takes time,” Smith said.
If a partner has upset their significant other with a smashed cake, Smith says the perpetrator should “do some serious self-reflection” and sincerely apologize.
“Then, over time, the victim can decide what needs to happen next,” she said. “A public apology might be appropriate for a public offense. Rebuilding trust requires many small and truly respectful actions and behaviors before the damage can be repaired.”
How common is it for a wedding cake to get smashed?
Zoe Burke of London, England, the leading wedding expert and editor at Hitched, an online wedding planning resource from The Knot Worldwide, told Fox News Digital that simple cake-cutting ceremonies are more popular than cake smashing.
She pointed out that smashing wedding cakes on spouses’ faces may be on the decline as the “average cost of a wedding” has “increased every year” and wedding cakes cost between $500 and $930 or more.
“[Cake smashing] “This may be something we start to see less of as couples want to actually enjoy their spending rather than throw it away,” Burke said.
At the same time, Burke has seen an increase in wedding day pranks as couples and wedding guests try to go viral on social media.
“If there weren’t cameras ready to capture things like the cake smash or trends with a similar theme, I think this would happen a lot less at weddings,” she said.
Burke said that your guests would best witness “an amicable cake smash,” as opposed to an awkward moment where the bride or groom is upset or even hurt by the prank.
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