Domestic violence survivors have revealed the dark truths behind the photos they have posted to construct an idealized life on their social media while undergoing traumatic abuse behind the scenes.
Many abuse victims have used social media to dismantle the picture perfect life they attempted to portray while living in abusive relationships, detailing a gruesome piece by piece of what happened before and after each photo was taken.
Victims use TikTok to share their stories, to spread their truth and to declare that nobody really knows what’s going on in someone else’s life.
Each video was posted under the hashtag #domesticabuseawareness, which amassed over 2.3 billion views, filled with women sharing their stories.
Domestic violence survivor Jen Schwartz revealed the dark truths behind the photo she posted to construct an idealized life on her social media
Another user shared the “happy” photos she posted, followed by photos of herself extremely hurt and beaten
Many abuse victims have taken to social media to dismantle the perfect life they represented on their Instagram accounts
User @airheadextreme appeared in photos of her being abused where she looked extremely happy before revealing the truth
In a four-part series that racked up millions of views, Pennsylvania’s Jen Schwartz took to TikTok to tell the story of what happened just days before or after posting those “perfect” photos.
In one video, she shared a photo of herself and her ex-boyfriend looking madly in love while posing on a wooden bridge.
And while Jen revealed that this photo marked a time when she was head over heels in love with him and the two were in a happy relationship, she admitted just days later that her boyfriend was becoming abusive.
“This is an interesting image because it’s at the very end of the love bombing phase,” she said in the video.
Love bombing is a manipulation tactic used by abusers and narcissists, where they show excessive forms of affection in the very early stages of the relationship in order to gain the victim’s trust.
Experts often note that love bombing is usually followed by emotional abuse.
Jen went on to describe the aftermath of the photo in the video, saying: “A few days after this picture was taken we spent all day in and out of hospitals and emergency care because he was trying to get pain medication.
“And he was driving the rental car that I paid for on my behalf and he was so angry he banged on the walls and the roof of the car and the steering wheel and he got his knuckles all bloody and cut and he gets blood in the car. ‘
Going through several photos she posted during the time the two were together, Jen revealed the horrifying truths behind every picture perfect moment she curated while suffering abuse behind closed doors.
Sharing the pictures she took of her body after her partner abused her, she reminded users that they don’t always know what’s going on behind the scenes
She shared her story using the hashtag #domesticabuseawareness to give viewers a glimpse of what was really going on
Another user, passing @hunni_bunnnz, posted a video with the caption: “The kind of pics I would share versus what was really going on.”
She then shared photos taken to make her life perfect, followed by photos of her being badly beaten by her abusive partner
She explained that her partner would get high before every picture they took, adding that he would “shoot in the car while I was inside.”
At the end of her video, she added, “I wish I could go back and shake this girl and tell her to get out.”
Jen was inspired to share her truth in her four-part series to show that abuse doesn’t always look the same and after seeing other survivors post similar videos.
Each survivor has uploaded similar videos documenting the abuse behind the curated photos.
Another Arkansas user, whose TikTok name is @lazybonesac, posted a video sharing the pictures she shared while in the relationship with a text overlay detailing the verbal and physical abuse , which she has been dealing with behind the scenes.
“What I posted on Facebook during my five year abusive relationship versus real life,” she captioned the video.
She started the video by sharing a photo of herself smiling, then adding: “[He] started hitting me and often called me a whore.
In another photo, she can be seen holding a snake, while the text overlay reads, “[He] choking and swearing at me while drunk on my family vacation.
Another Texas user, who goes by @hunni_bunnnz, posted a video with the caption, “The kind of pics I would share versus what was really going on.”
She then shared photos taken to make her life look perfect, followed by photos of her being badly beaten by her abusive partner.
In one photo, she shared a picture of herself with a black eye, a swollen lip and scratches on her face to show the reality of an abusive relationship
A user by the name of @lazybonesac posted a video sharing the pictures she posted while in an abusive relationship
The images included text overlays detailing the verbal and physical abuse she was dealing with behind the scenes
In a photo of her smiling, she wrote: “[He] burned me with a hair straightener as a joke’
In another photo, in which nothing appeared to be wrong, she shared, “[He] hit me and choked me for calling him about a lie and catching him talking to another girl.
Georgia’s Makenna Butler, who is known on TikTok as @airheadextremee, posted a video showing the photos she posted to her Instagram, followed by photos of her face, arms and legs injured by her then abusive partner became.
Survivors have relied on each other to openly share their stories of abuse and connect with one another in solidarity.
The second wave of the feminist movement in the 1970s shook out the victim-blaming mentality and advocated the criminalization of domestic and sexual abuse in order to create a safe space for victims to tell their stories.
And while sharing their stories can be a crucial part of the healing process, it’s also a risk when it’s posted on social media, which is why many, like Jen, have blocked their abusers.
To safely share their stories, survivors should use the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network or the RAINN Survivor’s Guide to Media Use.
The guide includes tips on how to set limits on what you can and can’t see, read and post.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.
On average, 10 million men and women are victims of domestic violence in a year.
The NCADV also notes that there is a link between intimate partner violence, depression and suicidal behavior, and links physical, mental and sexual health to intimate partner violence.
Anyone affected by abuse and in need of assistance can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.