EastEnders' Max Bowden has spoken about his struggle with “unrelenting pain and anger” following the death of his best friend.
The 29-year-old actor, who played Phil Mitchell's troubled eldest son Ben, was “unable to cope” and was later axed from the soap.
In 2021, he revealed that his “heart was torn to pieces” after losing one of his “oldest” friends, Luke Goodings, to suicide.
It's been a devastating year for Max, who also lost another friend and celebrity agent, Terry Mills, and his grandfather in February.
In an Instagram update on Wednesday, the soap star read Hussain Manawer's emotional poem You May Have Died, But You Are Still Alive as he opened up about his battle with grief and his “personal journey.”
EastEnders' Max Bowden has spoken about his struggle with “unrelenting pain and anger” following the death of his best friend.
The actor who played Phil Mitchell's troubled eldest son Ben was left “overwhelmed” after losing one of his “oldest” friends, Luke Goodings, to suicide and was later axed from the soap
He captioned the black and white clip: “Let's talk about grief.” I was really touched this morning when I was asked by Hussain Manawer to read his poem “You may have died, but you are still alive” on camera.
“This is the result of a personal journey of self-love and acceptance during my final stages of grief, where I have a new perspective on what happened and the profound impact it had on me and my everyday life.”
“Let’s face it, death is one of the certainties of life, but when it happens we are naturally shocked and our lives become uncontrollable – that is what being human means.”
“For a long time I felt unable to bear the pain and unrelenting anger I felt towards the world in the face of so much publicly documented loss.
“I now feel that it is time for me to open an honest, open and accepting conversation about the human experience of grief through discussion and art.”
“I would love to hear in the comments how anyone is personally dealing with grief right now, be it positive or negative, so that we can somehow create a world where we help the majority.”
“In the meantime, listen to the beauty of these words from a true wordsmith and remember that this too shall pass.”
EastEnders star Max is reportedly leaving the soap after playing Ben Mitchell for four years.
In an Instagram update on Wednesday, the soap star read Hussain Manawer's emotional poem in which he opened up about his battle with grief and his “personal journey.”
In 2021, he took to his Instagram Story to share an emotional tribute to his late pal (pictured), saying: “I will always love you my brother.”
Max posted a picture of Luke in 2021, sharing his anger and writing: “Heart is in shambles at the moment.”
“Lukey, I will always love you, my brother.” Now rest. Freestyle is really fun up there.' (sic)
In December it was claimed that BBC bosses had decided not to renew his contract, which expires in March.
His final scenes will air in the spring, but it is assumed that his character Ben, played by numerous actors in the past, will not be killed off.
An EastEnders spokesperson told Web: “Max will be leaving EastEnders next year. “We wish him all the best for the future.”
A TV insider added: “Max has been playing Ben for the last four years and bosses decided his time on the show was up.”
“There's been a lot of noise around him for a little too long, and that can hurt the drama of the show.”
“He went to a meeting as his contract was up for renewal next year. Nobody knew what would happen next and after discussions it was decided that he would leave.”
Web has contacted the BBC for comment.
In December it was claimed that BBC bosses had decided not to renew his contract, which expires in March; his final scenes would air this year (pictured on EastEnders).
Max, the sixth actor to play Ben, has been involved in some of the soap's biggest storylines of late.
Ben struggled with the death of Lola Pearce-Brown (Danielle Harold), the mother of his daughter Lexi.
Character Ben developed an eating disorder, bulimia, as he tried to process his grief.