Author and entrepreneur Éliane Gagnon is also an actress that we were happy to follow Ramdam, Louis Cyr, District 31 And STAT. It has been particularly discreet in recent years to get out of consumer hell. The 37-year-old mother of two beautiful children now feels more ready than ever to reconnect with the actress in her.
Éliane, in recent years you have been rather discreet on our screens. You have had problems with drug use and have written two books on the subject, Leak notebook And sobriety. Was this decline intentional?
Let’s say I had to work on myself first and didn’t yet have the necessary tools to reconnect with the profession I love most in the world. In my book Flughefte I talk about my decline in consumption. I went into hell and came out seven years ago.
You changed your life and turned it 180 degrees!
Yes, really. Since then I have even started a family and have two beautiful children, Éloi and Ariel. Recently I acted in STAT and the year before that in District 31. Today I am determined to reconnect with my profession and I want to take on challenges as an actress. I even enjoy exploring comedy to show my goofy side. (laughs)
Photo: Serge Gauvin / RADIO-CA
Your career was in full swing at the time, and you seemed to be doing well. What brought you to alcohol and drugs?
I started using very young. I think I wanted to silence the fear I had inside me; it suffocated me. I was on marijuana when I was 11, alcohol when I was 17, and cocaine a year later. I wanted to blend in, look cool, and I thought I was in control of my business. I was carefree and of course I thought I was invincible.
And it’s sneaky, all of it, isn’t it?
Yes! Alcoholism and addiction are very insidious, creeping into our lives and often by the time we realize it, we’ve already lost control. I started having this destructive behavior when I was 20. We often tell ourselves that youth must happen, but it went on. I’ve been in denial for 10 years. I was really destroying myself little by little. When I was 30, I still had the same lifestyle choices and the same destructive behaviors. There were two personalities in me: Lili Love, who wanted to be loved, and Lili Destroy, who destroyed everything. So I fed Lili Destroy for 10 years, but deep down I knew it wasn’t working.
You mentioned fear earlier…
Back then, everything in life scared me. It’s sad because I was afraid of success and my own light, but I was also afraid of failure and I didn’t know how to love myself. Basically, all I wanted in life was to fulfill my dreams of loving and being loved, but alcoholism destroyed any possible happiness.
Photo: Patrick Seguin
Your career has been going well, you have chained beautiful roles, like that of Emiliana in the film Ludwig Kyr.
Yes, I started acting when I was 14, I had good roles, that’s true. Even at the age of 30, after being selected by the Canadian Film Center to study English for six months, I went to Los Angeles to pursue my acting dream in the United States and develop my career there.
And what happened?
This is where everything changed. I was on my way to Los Angeles when I was in a serious car accident. I drove drunk, but I didn’t realize anything except that I wrecked my car. This event was the big turning point for me. I found myself in Hollywood, homeless, and couldn’t even sleep in my car because I didn’t have one. (laughs) Eventually I started therapy in Hollywood to get out of there. My life then turned around 180 degrees and if I hadn’t stopped this rhythm of life with consumption, I probably wouldn’t be here today to talk about it.
Today, at 37, you are a mother, actress, author and also founder of the Soberlab project. It seems like life took you in its arms…
Oh how well said! Yes, I feel a bit like that. Instead of saying I’m sober, I like to say I’m on a love journey, and today I’ve been on that journey for seven years.
You really turned the ugly in your life into something very inspiring.
I like being able to help people who need it because of their substance abuse problems. I know what it is, I’ve been there. The Soberlab project is very nourishing to me. Self-sacrifice is the key to happiness.
How does being a mother nourish you on your journey of self-love?
In fact, I want to improve myself with my thoughts and my emotions as much as I do with my actions. I think that’s what makes me really present with my kids and enjoying everything. I take the time to live well in the present moment and I will not let anything spoil it. I do it first for myself and then for my kids. I’ve come so far in the past few years that I no longer have to prove anything to anyone.
what kind of mom are you
I already have such a great relationship with my children! I had Éloi first, and it was he who brought me back to love. My family is my core and what I hold most valuable. Yes, I have professional ambitions, but not at the expense of my family life. I think I’m a pretty cool mom who plays and fools around with them and is probably too revealing because I have a hard time setting my boundaries. My son noticed that, so I have to tighten the screw a bit. (laughs)
And when it comes to your acting career, where do you stand?
Recently I’ve acted in a short film and in an English language film which I can’t talk about at the moment but will be out this year. I missed playing a lot. It’s true I was consumed for years, but I’ve worked so hard, I got up, I’ve had my kids and I started Soberlab, plus I’ve written two books about it. I can’t make up my mind for the industry to want me back as an actress, but with everything I’ve done in my career, I know I just want to go back to a job that’s close to my heart.
For more information visit elianegagnon.com.
we can listen The inspirational momenta live chat with Éliane Gagnon and her guests, on Youtube.