For example, residents in the Mercier-Hochelaga-Maisonneuve district of Montreal can no longer park their cars in their driveways because they have converted their garage into a bedroom.
Since they no longer have a garage, they can no longer use their driveway.
It’s normal, isn’t it?
Where would the world go, I ask you, if people with no garages had driveways?
That would be anarchy! The mess !
Can you imagine people having patio furniture when they don’t have a yard?
Tenants putting in a sink… in front of their shower?
Or shower curtains… around the bathtub?
We don’t know who is what!
The world would be upside down!
Might as well put the basement on the 8th floor!
And the penthouse in the basement!
Long live Gerhard!
Luckily there are officers standing guard.
Armed with a tape measure and a rule book, these brave government employees with bushy mustaches and imposing bellies are humanity’s last defenses against returning to the Savage State.
They bravely fulfill their mission in all weathers, drawing their pencil faster than Clint Eastwood’s Magnum 357 and patrolling the streets of our communities in search of the slightest anomaly that might disfigure our beautiful Quebec.
Do you think they exaggerate? that they are eager? That they abuse their power, like mall security guards who pretend to be SWAT agents or Navy SEALs?
No !
You save the planet!
Yes sir, the planet!
That’s what the mayor of the municipality of Mercier-Hochelaga-Maisonneuve said yesterday.
On Paul Arcand’s radio show on 98.5 FM, Mr Pierre Lessard-Blais said if all citizens started building driveways when they didn’t have garages, it would create more asphalt in front of houses, which means less grass, less grass, more Greenhouse means gases and even more atmospheric disasters!
(I swear on my kids heads he said that…)
Makes sense right?
The next time you go whale watching off Charlevoix, think of Gérard, a Mercier-Hochelaga-Maisonneuve official.
It is thanks to him that you can admire the wonders of nature!
Can you imagine how beautiful the earth would be if there were no more Gérards?
GRETA IS HAPPY!
Yesterday my colleague Elsie Lefebvre told me on QUB Radio that community officials have already applied an ordinance prohibiting residents from dumping liquids down alleyways to prevent parents from building an outdoor ice rink for their children!
They cast, you know. turning water into ice.
And water, as you may know, is liquid.
So Gerard, listening only to his guts, climbed into his Ford Pinto, showed up in the alley with his tape measure and rule book, and bottomed out hard.
Another great moment in the history of democracy!
