Giovanni Sallusti April 24, 2022
We need to update Henry Kissinger’s famous tripartite view of Europe as “economic giant, political midget, and military worm.” The war in Ukraine in fact, he brings out a fourth attitude from the Old Continent that we could call cabaret masters. We don’t want to contaminate the tragedy with farce, but the blasphemous mix is from lorsignorite Eurocrats, it’s up to us to report, albeit amazed. Listen, in the second month of the conflict, the eggheads of the European Commission and the International Energy Agency met and even came up with a Vademecum. The title is more than anything a “comprehensive program” that would have raised the realistic smile of General De Gaulle: “Doing my part: how to save money, reduce dependence on Russian energy, support Ukraine and help the planet” . In short, we are faced simultaneously with a manual against the energy crisis, a strategy for war, and an outdated eco-gretinism (visions that are in stark contradiction to each other considering that, for example, one of the most immediate ways would be to undermine Putinian’s blackmail power fully reactivate the coal and fossil fuel front).
MANUAL
Anyway, further down with the manual. First of all, the good European citizen is asked to turn down the heating in winter and use less air conditioning in summer. For example, the Commission details that the average heating temperature in EU households is above 22ºC, but it could be set at 19ºC or 20ºC and we are already imagining a chill running down the spine of Ramzan Kadyrov, the leader of the Chechen cutthroats who might falter in the face of such a European offensive. But the real genius at shifting the energy paradigm lies in recovering the wisdom of every concerned mom: Drive slow. In fact, it seems possible to reduce fuel costs by around 60 euros per year by reducing the average cruising speed on the motorway by 10 km/h. Let’s imagine the jubilation of the freight forwarders (until yesterday) in the crisis, which nobody can miss a few evenings in the pizzeria today. But the references to the use of the car (which has always been a privileged fetish of European compulsory dirigisme) are increasing. The enlightened driver must stop with car masturbation and “share trips with neighbors, friends or colleagues to save fuel and money”.
It is viability and ecologically correct communitarianism that seems to do more harm to Putin than America’s Stinger missiles. We then invite you to prefer bicycles or at most public transport to your own car, which should be completely avoided, especially on Sundays in big cities (there are fewer emissions than others, e.g. Saturdays in small towns). Finally, the dogma underlying the link between Talibanism Lockdown and Talibanism Gretino cannot be missing: smart working. Barricade yourself at home and economic stagflation won’t find you: it seems that working from home three days a week could cut gas costs by about 35 euros a month, and here we are at a pizza and a half, a revolution changes perspective for millions of European professionals.
POLYTHBIDE
In any case, this prescribed surrealism of the continental Politburo is not a spontaneous exit, on the contrary, it is the dominant trait with which it faces the economic and energy war: the idea is to take reality roughly seriously for a while. Back in early March, the Brussels Poppies announced a phantasmagorical plan to “detox” the EU from its dependence on Russian gas, the immediate culmination of which was a call to “lower the building heating thermostat by one degree”. Incredibly, Moscow did not stop the invasion. But a few weeks ago, Commission Vice-President Margarethe Vestager reached the unsurpassed climax, preaching hygienic economy as an antidote to the Russian bear’s grip: “Check your showers and those of your teenage children. And when you turn off the tap, you say: Take this Putin! ». Wash less, drive at walking pace and lock yourself inside. It is the European Union’s recipe for achieving the triple goal of tackling energy shortages, weakening Russia economically and helping Ukraine win the war. And they are also annoyed when it is pointed out to them that this union is not a serious matter.