In reality, “First Dates” is not a romance show, but rather Spain. It's a daily and wonderful little moment that reflects who we are and what others are on the first date. Some set off in search of something serious after several stumbling blocks, others show it alive and feathered on television. The ones who come to the bar smoking hot, the ones who tell with their eyes that what they're bringing for dinner doesn't meet their high standards. In recent weeks, one woman said all she asked was that the man she was having dinner with had all his teeth, and another man gloated: “I'm fine with him breathing.”
Sometimes hopeless romantics come, sometimes they want adventure, polyamory and twerking. Men, women, non-binary people. Heterosexuals, homosexuals and bisexuals. Pansexual, asexual. First Dates is a program that shows modern Spain every evening, a shock therapy for the pre-constitutional cave, the immobilist. And on Thursday evening they broadcast a Valentine's Day special on Telecinco.
“On this day we will become even more in love,” Carlos Sobera, host of the show, warned his team of waiters. Now that Jorge Javier Vázquez is off the air, he may be the one having the most fun on a television show. Sobera has a great sense of humor and knows how to treat each of her guests. Last night's program featured a violinist who enlivened the guests' final decisions. A bit Ara Malikian, but with virtuoso eyeshadow. And now let's get to the stories, because they were perfect. Not so much the endings.
Axel and Laila, pretty things
Axel comes from Cameroon. A handsome man without nuances. He says nonsense as if he were “romantic, both personally and in life.” He tells truths like that he likes her “brunette, chestnut, with a nice ass.” They bring him Laila, a beauty who fulfills the above, and as soon as he sees her he says, “Wow.” When she – “I like people and boys” – tells him that she works as a bikini model in the summer , the man goes crazy, excited. There's hardly any conversation because Axel has nothing to say between dishes other than, “You're beautiful,” so they feed each other and she admits, “She has a very penetrating look.” Then they dance in the small room next door restaurant and Axel decides to take it a step further and do a little dirty dancing, even though he may not have been born at the time of the film's release. “This erotic Magic Mike-style dance serves as a flirting tactic for me,” he admits with a mischievous face, as if he had just shared the greatest thing ever with Spain. Of course, they say yes to spending a second Valentine's Day together, even though they wish the cameras would disappear and do their sweet things.
José and Sergio, it burns, it burns you
José is 34 years old, he is Venezuelan and he is not a fan of hearts or syrups. “I love sex and I need it basically every day.” He also states that he has been with around 1,000 men. “I hope more,” he jokes. With this we can admit without fear of being wronged that we are either children of Julio Iglesias or lovers of José. It's good to have things clear. They take him to Sergio, a very nice guy they call “Copón,” and he wears a giant-sized T-shirt with his nickname on it. Dinner is, as my mother would say, dirty in content. “I need sex every day and if I don't, I call Manuela.” “You know, five against one always wins.” Here I refrain from commenting on anything because I grew up in a house where patriarchy ruled and my eyes were covered whenever I saw a bare shoulder. They talk about sizes. “But do you mean the size of the heart, the size of the hypothalamus…?” says Sergio, alias “Copón,” acting a little mischievously. Later in the room, as they sneered a bit, they cheered on Venezuela and the romantic phrase “I would have made you suck” – focusing on the exact number of inches on the member. male to end with one of the most haunting sentences of the evening: “More than 16 is already a rocket.” Of course they spend a second night, but before they take the taxi, they may have already put their hobbies into practice.
Carlos and Magdala, small chapels
He is 62 years old, he is a virgin, but on the presentation poster it is added that he has no children so that we do not believe him. He comes with two crowns, one for himself and one for his “queen,” and a guitar because he wants to greet his date with “some kind of arrow.” Saying that his leader is Jesus Christ, as soon as the good woman appears, he begins, “Oh Magdala, God bless you!” he hums to her. While many of us would have chosen to call the police, run away or tell our best friend to save us, the saint who is having dinner with him that night says it is a very welcome reception. “Ole, hello!” he says. She loves blessing the table and this gesture helps Carlos understand that nothing is a coincidence, everything is providence, so she is the chosen one. Magdala is one of those very nice people who won't do anything ugly as long as you're comfortable, so everything seems fine to her until her date tells her she's a virgin and is waiting to find the right person and she says kids it him. She says what kind of children or what kind of bagpipes when she is already 58 years old and that, by the way, “sex is very important to me.” Carlos is a little tired and doesn't give up, he suggests adoption. Of course they go separately. With the guitar somewhere else.
Gaspar and Esther, “Trekking” knows no age
He is a retired tiler, he is 71 years old and appears in a shirt and jeans, a bow tie and red sneakers and a leather jacket. If anyone questions his masculinity, he warns that he is a machine when it comes to sex: “Give him three all night long.” This may be incomprehensible, but we must understand that your image is with the neighbors. Absolute empathy, Gaspar. Esther appears. Very short white hair, a very long fake red braid, designer glasses, a sequin jumpsuit with exposed lower extremities. “My legs have grown a lot while mountaineering and trekking. I also really like to show off my chest.†Full with Esther too. After the appetizers, she says she likes hiking and the mountains, and he says yes to everything, but then admits he doesn't know what “hiking” is. “Maybe it's like when I lived in Granada, where I could walk and hike a lot,” he adds. When the time comes, Gaspar tells him that he's not for jogging, but for those in the bedroom. “I like kissing mouth and eating butt,” he clarifies. Then he concludes by saying that he is looking for a woman like his mother. Esther finds this all unbearable, he says he likes her more feminine and they perform an infamous dance. Nothing, absolute failure. Moral: Don't trust anyone who wears a bow tie and matching shoes.
Óscar and Yolanda, romantics with backpacks
He comes from Navarre and appears dressed as a member of Il Divo. It's one of those things that comes with a backpack, a divorce, a past. You really like it because when you reach an age, with that head of hair, you see life differently. Yolanda loves that he dresses so well and has his hair so well combed, so lots of hairspray and a windproof toupee. Yolanda also has a backpack, but she's dressed in a floor-length red dress with slits on the legs and neckline so we can see she's looking good for a while. He has tattoos, a crown and a diamond on his shoulders because self-esteem is very important for everyone. He welcomes her with a bracelet with a heart and she could be one of those who say about herself that she has not been lucky in love, but that maybe she will be lucky tonight. “She’s exuberant,” he says of her. Yolanda is lime and sand. He says that he likes to “collect moments” but that these give him his space. He shares this important philosophy. Yolanda takes out her cell phone and shows him her Instagram account, where she looks completely fresh and with little clothing. She complains that there are people who feel bad about it when she doesn't hurt anyone except the really rancid ones. He sees about 10 or 12 photos and brings out the beast in him that might be hidden in the toupee: “I already added that.” That's not lost on me. And of course it doesn't escape. They go away happy as partridges to collect moments. And of course with the bracelet.
You can follow EL PAÍS Television on X or sign up here to receive our weekly newsletter.
Get the TV report
All the latest news from broadcasters and platforms, with interviews, news and analyses, as well as recommendations and reviews from our journalists
LOG IN
Subscribe to continue reading
Read without limits
_