Are you glued to your phone? Don’t miss a party? You may be suffering from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) syndrome, which manifests itself as an unpleasant and frustrating feeling of missing out on something.
L’Acronym FOMO comes from English Fear of being left out which can be translated as the constant fear of missing an eventan evening, a birthday, a specialist seminar, a concert, information, a trend… Also called “Fear of failure“This form of social phobia would be particularly aggravated by the increasing use of the Internet and, in particular, the information overload caused by social networks.” It is also a consequence of the Covid pandemic, in which post-curfew There was pressure to make up for lost timeto multiply events, know everything about the news, be everywhere at the same time and be connected to each other,” tells us Aline Nativel Id Hammou, clinical psychologist. According to a study by Eventbrite, an American event management website, 69% of people aged 20 to 40 (so-called Millennials) suffer from FOMO syndrome.
Telltale signs of FOMO
► The need to constantly stay connected:
- You’re glued to your smartphone
- You panic when you are in a place where there is no network
- Always check the battery level before leaving home
- You frantically check your phone to see if you received a message
- You feel nervous when you are no longer available
► The desire for omnipresencei.e. the ability to be present in several places at the same time:
- You are unable to answer “no” to an invitation and/or make decisions and end up “overbooked”
- You force yourself to go to an event even if you don’t want to
- They would rather be seen at an event than (actually) attend that event.
- You take photos or videos that you then post on social networks to show that you were there: represent social networks a showcase of your social life.
► Lack of concentration:
- You pay more attention to your cell phone or screens than to the environment around you
- You lack listening skills and openness when someone speaks to you (those around you have already pointed this out to you)
- You find it difficult to live fully in the present moment
- You tend to anticipate and plan for upcoming events
What is behind FOMO syndrome?
This social phenomenon was described for the first time in 2004 by Patrick McGinnis, author and speaker who used the term FOMO in an editorial for The Harbus, Harvard Business School’s student newspaper. In his column, he marvels at the hectic pace of students combining classes, games, meetings and evenings into one day. In an interview with Boston Magazine several years later, he stated that this behavior occurred after the attacks of September 11, 2001did A mad desire to live arises in people. “This phenomenon perhaps affects slightly more young people – adolescents and young adults – although all age groups can be affected,” explains our interlocutor.
This addresses low self-esteem and frustration with one’s life.
Missing something often means Fear of being excluded social and being rejected, which can reverberate an emotional wound of rejection or abandonment experienced in childhood. “Connection allows us to feel like we exist socially, and that fulfills us.” low self-esteem and frustration “With regard to one’s own life, which (often wrongly) seems less exciting than that of others,” explains the psychologist.
What solutions are there to get rid of it?
► Try to detox from screens as best you can. To achieve this, you should impose activities without a phone (cooking, manual tasks, reading, sports, walks in nature, games, etc.). “Force yourself not to look at your phone immediately after waking up, while eating or just before going to bed,” our expert advises.
► Force yourself to miss events and decline invitations and accepting that others can have good times without us
► Stop predicting future events and try to make the most of the present moment. Care must also be taken to maintain genuine relationships and interactions
► Desecrate social networks : What we see on Instagram or Facebook does not give a true and comprehensive picture of people’s lives. It seems more like an idealized selection of snippets of life, which therefore does not reflect reality. “Comparing your life to that of others on social media is like looking at your bank statements after consulting the Forbes list of the 400 richest Americans,” quips Professor Barry Schwartz, a professor at Swarthmore University, in his book “The Paradox of Choice”: Why more is less”.
► If necessary, seek help from a mental health professional, such as a psychologist
► Gradually move in the opposite direction: the JOMO (or Joy of Missing Out), which corresponds to a Feeling of joy at the idea of being aloneto miss a social moment, an event, an evening to take the time to do what you really love