Romantic encounters are often magical, but for a love story to stand the test of time, it takes work and unwavering dedication. Louise Portal and Jacques Hébert, lovers since the day they met, March 12, 1993, compare their relationship to a garden that requires great care. Apparently, the couple learned to cultivate love on a daily basis…
• Also read: This is how Louise Portal found love 30 years ago
• Also read: Louise Portal celebrates 30 years of love with her spouse
Louise and Jacques, what are you up to these days?
Jack: My friends are owners of a family business in which I work. Business has exploded since the pandemic. Jasmine and Guy have been friends of ours for a long time. We watched their four children grow up. Guy was Louise’s driver when she was making her career as a singer. Last year their daughter Romane was the victim of the 17th murder of a woman of the year… She sang and wanted to make a career in musicals. Her parents had opened a branch in New York for her to audition there. It became a project in memory of her daughter. All my life I have been involved in massage therapy and support for the well-being of people and I still do it in my own way.
What about you, Louise?
Louise: Also on a professional level, Jacques and I have been accomplices for years. When he left his private practice, we became partners. Jacques accompanies me on film shoots and conferences. We are in a new phase of life. My activities revolve around writing. I have published three books since the pandemic: One Summer, Three Graces, The Heritage of Words and My Own Notebook, a children’s book in collaboration with illustrator Tristan Demers. As for my acting career, I’ve been offered to shoot a web series and a feature film, two projects that will take place this year.
You said you are in a new phase of life. How do you feel about taking a new step?
I.: We are on the way to “old age”. We move on, but we must mourn. We need to let go of what was to welcome the new. And between these novelties we have time. We taste this pleasure. It is no longer our professional agenda that decides everything. The priorities are no longer the same. We’ve been together for 30 years now, Jacques and I, and my agenda has taken precedence for 28 years. Fortunately, given the circumstances, Jacques had a great welcome and great availability. I appreciate it because I see how work can tell couples apart.
J: Our partnership started in 2002. I’ve always been my own boss. The hardest part of this adjustment was dealing with Louise Portal 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I didn’t work every day of the week, but Louise did. It was a big change for both of us. I tried to get him to say that after 4:00 p.m. professional matters would move on to the next day. One of my roles with her is that of coach. I coach them and I accompany them.
Everyone had to find their place.
I.: Yes, and if our relationship continues to thrive, it’s because Jacques quickly found his own. He wasn’t in my shadow. My previous companions had trouble finding theirs. Jacques feels comfortable in the world. He’s very popular with people.
Let’s get back to your meeting. Louise, did you feel a call for love?
I.: NO. I had been separated for four months and was in no rush. As Jacques says, my heart was broken. I was in recovery. I was traveling with our mutual friend who is a dear brother to us: Jacques Lavallée. Our friend had organized an ice skating afternoon. My meeting with Jacques was orchestrated by fate…
J: Actually, I wasn’t supposed to be there because I had four massages scheduled that day. But we announced a big storm, and my four dates were cancelled. That had never happened to me in my entire career.
I.: I had spent the morning with my friend Father Ambroise Lafortune, with whom I had been discussing my recent separation. When I left him he told me that everything would be fine and that I would be happy.
J: A month earlier, Jacqueline, my spiritual godmother, had told me that someone would love me for who I am, not what I do. I was alone for three years. For my part, probably because of my family history, I had given up on love…
Did things go quickly between you?
I.: Jacques and I skated hand in hand. I looked at him and said, “I don’t know what’s in this hand, but we don’t want to leave it.” Back at our friend’s, Jacques wanted to go home because he thought he was dealing with a seductress, which our friend denied. He knew me well enough to know that wasn’t the case. That evening Jacques thought in his heart of hearts that if he stayed one night he would stay for life… These are two phrases that say a lot about our meeting. That first night together – because yes, we made love that night! (smile) — Jacques started telling me about his life. I learned that he had been on the path to sobriety for 15 years and on October 8, 1977 he dropped the glass with two other people. I realized that a year earlier I had spent two months with these two people in Guatemala and that Jacques should have been there… Fate had arranged a meeting for us later in life. We had a road ahead of us before we met: the road to sobriety for Jacques and the road to ending codependency in love for me. His sobriety brought me emotional sobriety. It was a privileged beginning to the relationship and I’m not surprised it lasted 30 years.
Photo: Valerie Blum / Echos Ve
Since you found love in the middle of quarantine, your couple has inspired a lot of people I assume?
I.: Yes. I was 43 years old and Jacques was 39. Even today we are often told that we are role models, inspired by our story.
Photo: Bruno Petrozza / TVA Pu
Is it sometimes difficult to be considered a model?
J: We don’t want to be put on a pedestal. If our relationship is going well, it’s because we know how to communicate without arguing. Communication is difficult for many people. i’m stubborn I leave nothing behind. When people tell us that married life comes easy for us, I remind them that being two means twice as many problems, worries, and worries! You have to tie yourself down and that’s quite a job! I have a daily spiritual life and every day I love the garden.
Anyone who has done it knows how much work gardening is…
I.: It’s a beautiful metaphor that seems simple but is so true! As we grow old, we must accept others for who they are. Don’t try to change or control it.
J: Everyone must respectfully take their place without being overwhelmed by each other’s concerns or responsibilities, even if it is difficult. There was a lot of practice between the beginning of our relationship and the wisdom we gained! (laughs)
We need to find a way to keep in touch I guess…
I.: You mustn’t lose sight of yourself. At some point Jacques was too “focused” on me. He had lost his freedom. If we had children and grandchildren, we would have to keep this space. Our friends they have don’t have quite the same lives as we do, but they are careful not to lose sight of each other, careful not to be overwhelmed by family expectations. Our way of staying in touch, Jacques and I, is our daily meeting. Every morning, for 30 years, we write each one to ourselves, then we live a moment of sharing. After that, we can go our separate ways to focus on our activities and not see each other for the whole day. Over the years we have found this to be a great asset.
J: Personally, I’m active, I have to move. Our professional life invaded our personal life and our marriage. I had a thrombosis that disrupted this rhythm; it made me realize that I was losing track of myself. I was unsure. I needed to tend to my personal garden and reconnect with my own activities. Some of them were rendered centered on Louise. Now we tend to balance.
You have a chance, it seems, to escape to the countryside. Is this your refuge in Saguenay?
I.: Yes, we have a chalet in Saguenay that we bought six years ago. For me it’s a return to the roots because the chalet is on the lake of my childhood. I had the instinct to buy this chalet.
J: We had sold our houses to feel lighter and free from attachments. Finally, a few months later, we had this crush. I said yes out of love for Louise, although that wasn’t the plan we had for the future…
I.: The timing was perfect as we have spent almost two full-time years in Saguenay during the pandemic. This allowed me to reconnect with Louise Lapointe. I broke away from my career and found my essence. I’ve also started doing things in my area again. What makes me happy is that Jacques has found his place there. We like to be there. We plan our time to see our family and friends. In Saguenay we do outdoor activities, relaxation and some professional activities. Our chalet is called Que du bonheur!
J: I had spoken to my neurologist about the chalet to get his opinion. Would the cottage be too much stress for me? He replied that it would only be luck… That’s how we found the name of the chalet.
Is aging together a privilege?
I.: Yes, if we can do it in harmony and complicity.
J: You have to be open to other people’s mistakes. We got married on May 13, 1995. Louise obtained the notary’s dissolution of their relationship and ranch, while I went to church court to have my previous marriage annulled. Same day, same time!
How do you see the future?
J: We prepare the way to “ageing”. We are in “anticipation”. In “aging” you have to adapt, because there are changes, things that you leave behind.
I.: We’re planning what’s next. We ask ourselves about our needs and send our requests out into the universe. Things orchestrate themselves. It’s pretty magical! Often we live in the past and have difficulty projecting ourselves into the unknown. You must be able to present yourself confidently and not be afraid to make your demands of the universe. And above all, be patient and open to what can happen…
You can find out more about Louise’s projects and conferences at louiseportal.com.
• Also read: Louise Portal relocated to accept the Iris Tribute Award at Gala Québec Cinéma