A mother of two has admitted that she “hates her 16-year-old husband” in her new marriage memoirs – as she said that anyone who embarks on lifelong life is a “masochist”.
The American journalist Heather Havrileski, from North Carolinawrote a new book, Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage, which comes out on Thursday.
The 51-year-old woman, who shares her 12-year-old and 15-year-old daughters with her husband Bill, likened it to a “pointed Lego brick underfoot”, a “smelling pile of laundry” and a “snoring pile”. of meat.
Speaking of The times She described marriage as a “funny thing” about her relationship with the academician, adding: and we get frustrated all the time.
North Carolina-based American journalist Heather Havrileschi has admitted she “hates her 16-year-old husband” in her new marriage memoir (pictured Heather with her husband, Bill).
Growing up as a child of divorced parents who “fought like cats and dogs,” Heather admitted that she grew up “idealizing” marriage.
She said there were few references to happy relationships other than those portrayed by “Disney Princesses.”
She started working as a journalist, giving scathing advice online, first in The Rabbit Blog, then in the Ask Poli column, which started in The Awl
It migrated to New York Magazine and can now be found on Substack.
The 51-year-old woman, who shares her 12-year-old and 15-year-old daughters with her husband Bill, likened it to a “pointed Lego brick underfoot, a smelly pile of laundry” (pictured together)
She has also written three books, including memoirs on growing up in the 1970s; anthology of advice columns; and a collection of essays.
She met her husband Bill after he sent her an email praising her writing, and they married in 2006.
The author said she wanted to write an honest memoir about what marriage involved, as she wanted to “throw marriage books around the room” because they felt “fake”.
Heather explained that she believes there are many books on falling in love, but less on how the relationship “works long distances.”
Meanwhile, the author, who became well known for writing a column of advice for New York magazine, said the marriage was “crazy and completely deluded.”
In the first chapter, she writes: “Every book about marriage is also a book about mortality, because the success of every marriage is determined not by happiness or luck, but by death.”
“Ultimately, the task is to stay together until you die. After one husband dies, the marriage is successful. Death is a sign of victory.
Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage by Heather Havrileski released by Harper 360 on Thursday
However, in the middle of writing the book, the author admitted that she was afraid of making a “huge” mistake.
She said she became concerned about her husband’s and her children’s reactions and struggled with “how much” to reveal about her relationship.
However, the author said that her husband was not “disturbed” by her revelations and “did not care” what people thought of him.
While writing, she even told her husband about a chapter in which she admits that she is in love with another writer.
She said it took her “10 years” to accept who her husband was and to realize that she was unable to change him.
Calling the marriage a “painful adventure”, the author explains how she was diagnosed with breast cancer and her husband supported her through treatment.
She said: “I hate it when people say their husband is their best friend, but he is my best friend, my therapist and my mother in one.”
Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage by Heather Havrileski released by Harper 360 on Thursday