A couple have sparked debate after receiving backlash over their annual Christmas party.
On Reddit’s AITA forum, the 35-year-old man posted how his partygoers branded him “selfish” after asking everyone to bring a dish so he could keep his own costs down.
The couple, who are believed to be from the United States, revealed that they hold a “small soirée gathering” each year at their home for around 20 to 24 people, made up of colleagues, family and friends.
He explained, “We usually cook ALL for 25 people, and that costs us about $500-$600 at the grocery store.
A 35-year-old man, believed to be from the US, revealed on Reddit that he and his 38-year-old wife have been branded “selfish” by friends and family
“This year, as money is a bit tighter, we’ve added some ‘conditions’ for attending the party. On the invitations we sent out, we added that guests must bring a dish to the party if they wish to attend. We’ve listed some potential dishes to bring or you can bring your own creation. Alternatively, if you don’t bring a dish, you pay $20 per guest to offset the cost of groceries.
“Of the 27 people we invited this year, there were 6 people (friends of my wife and I) who had a particular problem with it. None of them answered and when my wife got in touch they said it was selfish to expect a dish from guests, not considerate etc.
A couple have been branded “selfish” after asking guests to bring a dish to their annual Christmas party for colleagues, family and friends
“Reddit, are we a****** for guests bringing a dish to our soiree?”
More than 200 people commented on the post to share their opinions, which were shared.
While some people thought it was perfectly reasonable to throw a “potluck” party, others speculated on how the invitation was worded and questioned whether they should throw a party if they couldn’t afford it.
Many people showed sympathy for the couple and said their idea of a potluck was good, but cautioned them to remember people have other financial commitments and time is limited over the holidays
One person commented: “Yeah I think if maybe they worded it differently or even said openly that money is tightening people would have been more understanding. Sometimes my friends and I either make potluck or we cook together, which is just as much fun. That could have been an option.”
Another said: “Potlucks are so common, is that how you put it? I would say it would be a distraction if I was asked to pay $20 to attend a meeting I was invited to, so I would decline, but being asked to bring a dish would be fine.
A third person wrote: “Yeah, make it a potluck and don’t ask for anything. Sometimes it can be difficult for someone to bring a dish, especially homemade (and during the “holiday” season people are often busy and may work late), so don’t worry if one or two people show up with nothing or just one Bag of chips.”
And a fourth commented: “Nah but I wouldn’t have asked for the money. This turns a fun get-together into an event with admission. It would have been enough to change the name from “Holiday Party” to “Holiday Potluck” and ask guests to bring a dish.
“If you explain to the people who didn’t respond why you made the changes, they might agree to come after all, but I wouldn’t count on it.”
However, other people quickly tore holes in the pair’s argument, telling them it was unfair to expect people to bring a $20 dish.
Some people were less sympathetic and one person said if they couldn’t afford to throw a party, they shouldn’t throw a party
Someone commented: “The money doesn’t make any sense at all because who is it going to? If 20 people bring a full tray of food, it’s not like OP needs to invest extra time or money to make sure the last 7 people get fed. So that’s $140 they’re just pocketing under the guise of “contribution.”
A second person posted: “Basically you were just being rude and a little rude. Instead of making it a condition, you should have sent the invitation to your potluck with an attached sign-up sheet and then all your needs would be covered.
“Having 20+ people each bringing something is a TON of food and seems overkill. Then you have the logistics of couples etc and it’s just weird to make that a requirement. It’s also a bit odd asking for money from someone who didn’t bring food, especially as I assume the plan wasn’t to share that money with everyone else who brought food.
While a third said: “I’d love to get the $20 alternative. Much less headache for me. Haha.’
And some others said, ‘If you can’t afford a party, don’t throw it.’