Buying is fun. Our hormones wake up when we find that irresistible bargain on sale. Or when we are looking for that piece of clothing we fell in love with. Following this dynamic, we gradually accumulate things that we don't enjoy. We are moved by an often silent consumerism that controls us and that makes us feel good when we buy something, even if it is dead in the drawer. Evangelina Himitian and Soledad M. Vallejos, two Argentine journalists from the newspaper La Nación, examined the relationship they had with things. They agreed not to purchase anything for a year. They made logical exceptions: food and the products necessary for cleaning. The rest would avoid it, even the hairdresser. They would not accept material gifts and would be frugal when it came to spending on restaurants or excursions. The idea was not to save money, but to break away from the consumption mechanism that holds us captive. What started as a bet between two friends turned into a viral phenomenon that inspired hundreds of people to live away from consumerism. They met the challenge and published a book: Consumed Desire (Penguin Random House, 2017). This experience changed her and seven years later the change is still present in her life.
We know that it's not necessarily a good idea to go shopping after a bad day or to go to the supermarket when you're hungry. Emotional states influence our decisions. Oxytocin levels, the so-called pleasure hormone, decrease when something doesn't go as expected. Unconsciously, we try to regain the oxytocin we lost by giving ourselves something in return: a treat, a drink, or a purchase. In this way we compensate, even if it is not the most advisable thing for our wallet or our health. Testosterone also plays a role in the purchasing process. When we acquire certain assets, we feel more powerful and our testosterone levels increase. This process happens long before we notice it.
The mechanism is activated before we can even stroke what we so want to acquire: the highest peak of pleasure in our brain does not occur when we wear this jacket for the first time. It happens much earlier: when the object appears in our mind, when we desire it, we look for it or simply look at it in a shop window. This mechanism is independent of gender: both men and women succumb to its charm. In order not to fall into his arms and decide more sensibly, we must identify it within ourselves and activate our consciousness. Before we pay, we can take a few seconds and ask ourselves the question: Am I buying it because I really need it or because it is part of this wheel of well-being?
The goal is not to stop shopping or to embrace a minimalist life. It is not necessary. The challenge is to change our perception of consumption. Make better use of what we already have at home. Develop chains of exchange between friends or neighbors. Learn to be more creative with what you already have. And above all, be aware of what lies behind overconsumption and the price we pay as a society. As the authors mentioned in our recent conversation, “A cotton T-shirt requires 300 liters of water and there are people who don’t even have this basic resource.”
When we stop succumbing to the pleasure mechanism, we manage to change it. The path is easier when we have allies. We can tackle this project with someone, share the challenge and celebrate each week's successes without having to spend a dollar. So little by little you start to enjoy simple things and intangible experiences. We are not as susceptible to sales or promotions. Our drawers and cupboards receive more oxygen and less exposure. And in the end we learn to live without so many things and without so many complications. We are freer and have the space to enjoy what is really important, which, as we know, money cannot buy.
The “Goodbye 10” technique or how to get rid of what doesn’t make us happy
To keep the essentials, Himitian and Vallejos suggest we get rid of 10 household items every day. It can be something small, like a piece of jewelry that we don't quite like, or a piece of clothing that doesn't fit us well. Like every day. When we live with someone, it's about working together, even defining responsibility for the objects and how best to let go. When it becomes a habit, we search through every drawer where we keep forgotten things.
Pilar Jerico She is the author of the blog Happiness Laboratory.