A couple who have been married for 36 years but have not slept together in two years have claimed that the key to a lasting relationship is allowing the partner to date and have sex with other people to have.
Lisa Van Sand, 60, and Everett Harlow, 63, from Florida, are more in love than ever after opening their marriage to others and becoming a polyamorous couple.
After being monogamous for 23 years, Lisa and Everett have ditched traditional norms and now each boast different relationships – while still being married to each other.
And now the couple even choose each other's outfits for date night, as they shared that despite being in different relationships, they still “pick” each other.
Lisa, 60, and Everett, 63, from Florida, are more in love than ever after opening their marriage to others and becoming a polyamorous couple
After living monogamously for 23 years, Lisa and Everett threw traditional norms out the window (pictured after tying the knot in 1987)
And now the couple even choose each other's outfits for date night, as they shared that despite being in different relationships, they still “pick” each other.
Everett, who has never been apart before, revealed that he slept with a mutual friend in 2010.
And surprisingly, Lisa was “grateful” that her husband shared the news with her – which led the couple to decide to explore options within their marriage.
Now, some 13 years later, the couple has no regrets about their decision to date.
Everett, a woodworker, has since had five relationships and Lisa has three long-term boyfriends, all of whom live in different states.
Lisa, a polyamorous coach, said, “Our marriage isn't for everyone, but it definitely works for us.”
“Many married couples have parallel lives but no connections, but Everett and I love each other but casually date other people.”
The 60-year-old shared that both she and her husband have been able to discover different qualities in other people that they love, but that neither of them necessarily have.
She explained that while Everett looked for men who were “natural romantics,” she looked for women with “strong sex drives.”
Now, five years later, the couple has no regrets about their decision to date
The 60-year-old shared that both she and her husband have been able to discover different qualities in other people that they love, but that neither of them necessarily have
Lisa said: “We are able to discover amazing qualities in other partners that we don’t have in each other.”
“My husband isn't a naturally romantic person, so he loves that I've found people who treat me romantically.”
“However, Everett is seeking a physical connection as he has a higher sex drive than me.”
She noted that they were closer than ever, even though they hadn't slept together in two years.
Lisa said that communication is extremely important for the couple and so they always keep each other updated about their dating life.
She explained: “We haven't slept together since 2021, but we are emotionally closer than ever since we opened up about our relationship.”
“We keep each other updated on everything – when I go on dates, Everett even helps me choose what to wear.”
She noted that the couple is having the best time exploring other options but will never abandon each other.
“We are having the time of our lives, but at the end of the day we will always choose each other,” she added.
Lisa said that communication is extremely important for the couple and so they always keep each other updated about their dating life
She noted that the couple is having the best time exploring other options, but will never leave each other (seen in the beginning of their relationship).
Lisa and Everett got engaged in 1986, just two months after meeting, and tied the knot in 1987.
And they were always open to accepting additional sexual partners into their marriage.
Although they considered swapping, they both agreed it would be a “step too far” because they wanted “real connections.”
In October 2019, the 63-year-old began a relationship with another woman. Three months later, Lisa entered her own.
After becoming a polyamorous couple, Lisa joined the online BDSM community FetLife, where she was able to learn more about boundaries and communication.
The couple revealed that they are in a parallel polyamorous relationship, which means they date other people separately while they are still married to each other.
Lisa is currently in three different relationships, all of which last four years.
“Meeting other people helped us discover opportunities that we lacked in each other.” In polyamory, everyone has the right to be jealous, but it is the person's responsibility to deal with their jealousy.
Lisa is currently in three different relationships, all of which last four years
Everett added, “Lisa and I practice polyamory around the kitchen table, where each other's partners become part of our circle of friends.”
“We were never jealous that we had partners, but we wanted to make sure the other partner wasn't looking for monogamy.”
“Some people have their own opinions about polyamory, but that's their business.” “I'm not a horny housewife who wants to have sex,” she said.
She also described the love she shares with Everett.
Lisa said: “I'm married to my best friend but I'm also looking for real connections and have found them with three different partners.” I love going on dates with my friends; We go for dinner, drinks or interesting museum exhibitions.
“We are 100% transparent in our relationships with each other – that's the only way we could make it work.” Some people may say we're just joking, but me and my husband are closer than ever.
“We communicate better than some monogamous couples and are closer than ever before.”
Everett added, “Lisa and I practice polyamory around the kitchen table, where each other's partners become part of our circle of friends.”
“I consider some of Lisa's partners my friends as we really get along.” “Us guys can talk about football and it saves Lisa having to hear about it.”