Living below your means is difficult, especially when you’re used to a lifestyle that may have led to debt. But once you make that tough decision to get your finances in order, the sacrifices come: cutting costs, living in a smaller apartment, not having the most modern car or furnishings.
While this can take a toll on your self-esteem, imagine what happens when family members — or close relatives — start interfering.
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That’s the struggle shared by a Florida woman named Catherine on a recent episode of The Ramsey Show. She’s been following host Dave Ramsey’s money management plan in small steps for some time, including driving an older car and moving into a small apartment with a roommate.
But one day, when the roommate’s aunt came to visit and remarked on how small the apartment was, Catherine said she was “embarrassed” and ashamed.
“If you’re content and that’s your decision, you have peace of mind in the decision — and that’s an identity,” Ramsey said. “Everything she said was a delight until that aunt showed up.”
No matter what type of home you own or where you live, there is always a sense of inadequacy. (See: Keeping up with the Joneses.) Even if you own a multimillion-dollar home, you might still end up afraid of being convicted.
A recent poll commissioned by Slickdeals found that 69% of Americans were embarrassed about bringing people into their homes simply because of their aesthetic choices. In addition, half of the respondents indicated that they had been judged on their decoration choices.
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So when random people come to your house with pointless comments, should you really be making financial decisions based on that? One phrase that came up on Ramsey’s show on such issues was, “Who gets a vote?”
In other words, when it comes to how you live your life, who else has a voice in your life?
Depending on the circumstances, a case could be filed for your parents or your partner. But your roommate’s aunt? The answer in this scenario should be a big, bold “no.”
“If you’re grounded in that and really believe in that, then you wouldn’t be ashamed,” Ramsey said. “But if they’re actually right, if they’re talking about something, and you’re not that into it, then that would put you off.”
Ramsey added that there’s a reason he’s so vocal about his lifestyle. He had the “advantage” of having gone completely broke. According to Ramsey Solutions, he filed for bankruptcy in 1988 at the age of 26 when the bank canceled his loans.
“Once you’re completely broke, you don’t really care what other people think,” Ramsey said. “Affirmations are beautiful; I’m like everyone else, I like it. But I don’t have to have that to do something.”
For this woman, Ramsey said, the question then becomes, “Why live this lifestyle at all?” She chose to stay within her means to achieve a goal. If you are comfortable with the choices involved and anchor them in your identity, she (or anyone) should be allowed to see beyond the opinions of others. Because not just anyone gets or deserves a vote.
“If your broke friends are making fun of your financial plans, then you’re on the right track,” Ramsey said.
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This article is for informational purposes only and should not be taken as advice. The provision is made without any guarantee.