Many of the late Queen's granddaughters and great-granddaughters have proudly been given Elizabeth as their middle name as a tribute to the family's beloved matriarch.
But Harry and Meghan went a step further when they named their daughter Lilibet, a very personal term of endearment for the former monarch that was only used by her closest family and friends.
In fact, I understand that the Queen was so upset by the Sussexes' decision that she told her advisers, “I don't own the palaces, I don't own the paintings, the only thing I own is my name.” And now have she took that.'
In any case, Harry and Meghan wouldn't have wanted to cause her any grief about it.
Barricaded in their California cocoon, wrapped in the cozy schmaltz of their new showbiz life, it simply never occurred to the couple that such a gesture would cause offense.
The then 95-year-old monarch was taken aback when her grandson told her of his intention to name his daughter Lilibet in her honor, but didn't feel like she could say no given the circumstances
Harry and Meghan went a step further when they named their daughter Lilibet, a very personal term of endearment for the former monarch that was only used by her closest family and friends.
But it appears to be so – as well-placed sources made clear to me and others at the time.
The row erupted again this week thanks to my colleague Robert Hardman's excellent – and well-sourced – new biography of King Charles III, published in the Chron.
Hardman said an aide to the late Queen told him that she was “the most angry I'd ever seen her” after the Duke and Duchess publicly stated that they wouldn't have used her private family nickname if she hadn't would have been “supportive”.
They were responding to a story published not by one of the popular British newspapers that the Sussexes so openly despise, but by, of all things, the BBC.
The national broadcaster's royal correspondent Jonny Dymond reported learning from a “palace source” that the Queen was “never asked about the use of her childhood nickname” by Harry and Meghan.
Dymond said that following the name announcement, his source “doubted” reports that Harry and Meghan had spoken to the Queen to get her blessing.
Many of us have said this in one way or another in 2021.
But the fact that the BBC – the world's leading public broadcaster – now declared this added even more weight to it.
The Sussexes' spokesman did not hesitate to denounce the report, insisting that the Queen was the first family member to call Harry with the happy news of the birth of his long-awaited daughter.
He said that during their conversation he “expressed his hope of wanting to name their daughter Lilibet in her honor. If she had not supported them, they would not have used the name.”
They then used their favorite law firm, Schillings, to send a letter to the BBC and other media outlets threatening action, pointing out that the report that the Queen had not been asked for permission was “false and is defamatory and should not be repeated.”
What's remarkable is that the BBC didn't back down.
In fact, there were further questions for the couple when it later emerged that they had already registered Lilibet Diana as an internet “domain name” before their daughter was born and had apparently asked the Queen for permission.
To be honest, I wasn’t told at the time that the Queen was “angry.” That was never a word for me personally.
I understand that the Queen was so upset by the Sussexes' decision that she told her advisers: “The palaces don't belong to me, the paintings don't belong to me, the only thing I own is my name.” And now they have that taken.'
The Sussexes' spokesman did not hesitate to denounce the report, insisting that the Queen was the first family member to call Harry with the happy news of the birth of his long-awaited daughter Lilibet (pictured).
But what at least two sources made clear — reluctantly, I might add, since in the wake of her pivotal Oprah interview everyone at Buckingham Palace was treading on eggshells for fear of further hostilities with the Sussexes — was that this was the proposal they had The Queen's approval was a rather one-sided interpretation of what had actually happened.
As I was told, the then 95-year-old monarch was taken aback when her grandson informed her that he intended to name his daughter Lilibet in her honor, but did not feel, under the circumstances, that she was in a position to do so Situation is to say no.
You could describe it as being pushed into an impossible corner.
And that certainly makes sense, now considering her comment about “palaces and paintings” that, like most of her jewelry, cars, and even furniture, were never hers.
In many ways she was merely its preserver for future generations on behalf of the nation.
But her pet name, Lilibet, which remained sweet after she was never able to pronounce her own name properly as a toddler, belonged to her – and only to her.
In fact, until then it had only been used by her grandfather, her parents, her late husband, and a handful of her closest friends and relatives.
As someone who had enjoyed an impeccable career as an international stateswoman, the elder Queen was apparently still willing to bite her lip (in public) until she saw her name weaponized by lawyers in the fight against the British civil service transmitter was used.
And according to Robert Hardman, despite posting its well-wishes on social media, Buckingham Palace flatly refused to be “co-opted” into “supporting” Harry and Meghan's version of events.
They firmly refused their requests, which ultimately, it seems, resulted in the Sussexes' threats of legal action being quietly dispelled.
It's actually quite sad that a child's name continues to cause resentment. Little Lilibet doesn't deserve any of this.
But the fact that loyal aides are still talking about it now shows that many view the Sussexes' behavior toward the late queen at the end of her reign as misguided at best and unforgivable at worst.