An orgasm is an orgasm, right? It feels the same for everyone.
It turns out that this assumption is wrong: orgasms vary from person to person.
It’s a bit like playing Pictionary. The idea of a horse is completely different for one person than for another – and yet both of you are amazed that you don’t draw and imagine it in the same way.
A recent study by neuroscience professor Dr. James Pfaus of Charles University in Prague identified three types of orgasms: wave, avalanche and volcano.
He asked 54 women to use a vibrator that detects the force of pelvic floor contractions and brings themselves to orgasm over several days. The vibrator – a pelvic floor biofeedback instrument – was aptly named “Lioness.”
A recent study by neuroscience professor Dr. James Pfaus of Charles University in Prague identified three types of orgasms: wave, avalanche and volcano. Stock image used
There is little research into how women experience orgasm, but what little evidence there is suggests that we are more individual than we are alike.
It could be that we are genetically programmed to only experience orgasm in a certain way.
But if you’re like me and interested in expanding your repertoire, here are some tips that might lead you down a road less traveled.
RIDE THE WAVE’
Nearly 50 percent of women in the study had this type of orgasm — a series of consecutive contractions or waves in which the tension eased at climax.
Here’s how to get one:
The key to experiencing the most common type of orgasm is probably to focus on the two factors that most predict orgasm: repetition and rhythm.
While it’s great to experiment with different techniques during the arousal phase, it’s important to keep doing what you’re doing as you get closer to the finish line. Switch techniques when you’re just a few minutes or seconds away and there’s a good chance you’ll miss orgasm entirely. Instead of shooting up, let yourself fall to the lowest level of the arousal scale.
British sex expert Tracey Cox (pictured) shares her top tips for achieving different types of orgasms
If you want to impress a woman, you don’t have to brag about how many techniques you’ve mastered. It’s about knowing when to stick with what she enjoys.
Mix things up:
Try a new technique for at least two minutes. It takes a while for our body to react and decide whether it likes something or not. A stimulation that is initially irritating can transform into intense pleasure with repetition.
Switch up the style by forcing yourself to change your preferred method. If you prefer a slow burn and like it gentle and slow, switch to firmer, faster stimulation every now and then for a minute or two and then slow down again. (Just make sure you do this early in the arousal phase and not right before orgasm.)
If you feel like a drastic change in intensity, try the opposite type of stimulation to what you’re used to and keep it consistent throughout.
THE RECIPE FOR YOUR PERFECT ORGASM
As with most recipes, it’s a bit of trial and error before you hit on your favorite orgasm triggers.
These are the factors to experiment with.
The ingredients: pressure, speed, body parts (tongue, fingers, penis), vibration (with a toy).
The portion size: Some women need an hour to become aroused enough to orgasm, others can go from zero to climax in minutes. (Vibration produces the fastest results.)
The Method: Try a combination of techniques – a tongue with a finger in it, a butt plug before intercourse. The double stimulation also accelerates orgasm.
EXPERIENCE “THE AVALANCE”
This orgasm begins with the highest tension before orgasm, which then decreases once you reach climax.
Seventeen percent of women experienced an avalanche-style orgasm.
Here’s how to get one:
One way to influence your orgasm style is to change how directly you stimulate the clitoris – and which part you stimulate.
A little anatomy lesson to explain: The visible part of the clitoris is just the tip: the glans. It is the area with the most nerve endings and is extremely sensitive to touch. The body of the clitoris is hidden. There are two “legs” that split in half to form bulbs that extend down the sides of the labia. These bulbs also contain erectile tissue, which swells with blood during sexual arousal to increase lubrication and sensation.
You need a stronger and firmer pressure to stimulate the parts of the clitoris hidden under the skin because there is an extra layer on top.
Some women prefer to orgasm through direct stimulation of the clitoral tip; others reach climax through indirect stimulation of the “inner” body. Turn it up and you’ll likely experience orgasm in a different way.
Vary the sensation:
If you are used to direct stimulation…
Turn down the intensity control and avoid stroking the glans directly. Instead, wrap your hand around the entire vulva and move it up and down and side to side. (You use the lips or “labia” as a friction tool.) Also try rubbing against a pillow or the side of the sofa, or lying on your stomach to create pressure while using the cupping technique.
Instead of using a finger or a sex toy, focus on the gentler simulation of a tongue through oral sex. Or try stimulating the anterior wall (the bit under your stomach) by choosing a position that allows his penis to stimulate the home of the “G-spot.”
If you are used to indirect stimulation…
Return to an old favorite: circling the clitoris with your finger is still the most popular technique, and for good reason. It’s effective.
Use your fingertip to move the clitoral hood (the fold of skin that protects the clitoris) in a circular motion around the clitoris. Use plenty of lubricant and initially aim for light pressure and a “big” circle.
Then increase the pressure and shrink the circle so that it focuses more on the glans as the arousal increases.
The tip you’ve heard before—spelling the letters of the alphabet with your finger or tongue—is still making the rounds because it’s a good way to make sure you reach all areas of the clitoris. Not only does this help prevent over-sensitization, but it also helps figure out which part of your clitoris enjoys a particular type of touch the most.
Which could definitely lead you to this type…
THIS IS HOW MY ORGASM FEELS
I asked women to describe their orgasms. Here are some of their answers.
Olivia, 34, has been married for two years
“I have vaginal and clitoral orgasms and they are very different.” When I experience an orgasm through penetration, an aching sensation builds up, then peaks and spreads into gentle, pleasurable waves that I feel deep inside me . My vagina seems to spasm, but less violently than during a clitoral orgasm. Vaginal orgasms affect a larger area – like waves of pleasure crashing across my entire body. Clitoral orgasms all originate from the clitoris. They are more of a euphoric explosion, an eruption.”
Aisha, 23, is single
“I can masturbate to a clitoral orgasm in a matter of minutes, but I need to know the partner and relax with them before they can give me one.” That’s because I have to concentrate, put him out of the picture and focus entirely on myself the feeling needs to concentrate. I need to focus on me, not him. I hate it when men try to talk to me while I’m trying to orgasm. It disrupts my concentration and I end up having no concentration at all.’
Helen, 28, is gay and in a long-term relationship
“Oral sex orgasms are the best: really intense, strong and powerful.” When she starts I feel incredibly sensitive and everything feels great. The sensation then becomes sharper and becomes more isolated around the clitoris. It almost feels like the rest of my body is disappearing and only this tiny little area is left. If someone chopped off my arm, I wouldn’t notice! I only know what happens to that inch or less of flesh.”
CREATE A “VOLCAN”
As the name suggests, this orgasm is more explosive. It begins with tension in the lower pelvic floor, which then suddenly builds and subsides at the point of orgasm.
It is the least common form; only eleven percent of women suffer from it.
Here’s how to get one:
Another determining factor in the type of orgasm you experience is your unique biological makeup.
Every clitoris is different because there is no set number of nerve endings in the clitoris. Recent research suggests that the number of nerve endings is between ten thousand and eleven thousand (more than the previously touted eight thousand), but we are all individual in how many we have and where they end.
For this reason, there is no “best way” to stimulate the clitoris. It all depends on where your nerve endings are individually concentrated. They may be closest to the glans at the top or bottom, but in others they may be more heavily weighted on one side or the other
For this reason, the most tentative touch on a certain spot is too much for one woman, but perfect for another.
Find your best side:
These techniques help to accurately determine the intensity. But don’t be surprised if you find your “bull’s eye” changing. Stress, your menstrual cycle, how aroused you are all influence the intensity your body craves.
Use the clock technique. It’s a simple, foolproof way to find out (and guide your partner to) the areas that are most and least sensitive for you.
Imagine a clock face surrounding your vulva. The clitoris is located at the top (on the stomach) at 12 o’clock and the opening to the vagina (at the bottom) at 6 o’clock. If something feels good halfway through, it’s at three o’clock or nine o’clock (etc.).
Experiment alone with a vibrator or your fingers and note which area feels best for you at different levels of arousal. Or let your partner do the work while you report to them.
The clock technique is particularly useful during oral sex. It’s much easier to say, “Go back to four o’clock!”; than doing the whole “a little up, a little down” thing when they deviate from your personal pleasure range.
Use the Kivin method. This is basically oral sex that is performed sideways so that it focuses on a specific side of the clitoris. Instead of lying between your legs, your partner lies vertically so that your bodies form a T-shape.
In addition to focusing directly on one side, the tongue moves from side to side rather than from top to bottom.
Another way to change your orgasm style is to use sex toys. Tracey’s range of products – Tracey Cox Supersex (for couples) and Tracey Cox Edge (for men) – can be found at lovehoney.co.uk.