Vladimir Luxuria, the only one who still believes: Voice 9
Ninth and penultimate episode of this miserable island of the famous. So far we haven’t had a chance to talk about the one and only queen of coconuts. Hidden in the studio, amidst the indifference and general bickering, Vladimir Luxuria has never stopped believing in it, and even in the semifinals he never misses an opportunity to spread pearls of wisdom and divided meanness. The columnist is his role, we shouldn’t be surprised that he carries it out with passion and surgical skill. Instead, in keeping with the trend, it looks like a zebra with dots. He always intervenes very punctually to comment on the sad deeds of the shipwrecked, he never lets them pass them. He underlines Mazzoli how the sudden friendship he flaunts with the previously hated Lo Cicero and Prestes reeks of strategy. And he’s right. She becomes angry with Helena for daring to bring up Cristina Scuccia’s past as a nun in order to turn against her. When the Brazilian-made model was eventually eliminated for good, he dismissed her, saying, “Go back to your Carlo if you remember who he is.” The reference refers to Prestes’ (alleged) boyfriend on whom anyone with common sense more than doubts. He gets angry, Luxuria calms him down sarcastically: “I’ve already got my wedding dress ready, don’t worry.” Master hatchet also against the former Ursuline, who insists on not wanting to reveal the identity of the person with whom she is allegedly having an affair . will it be a man A woman? A liquid triceratops? Perhaps. And how boring. While the Papi-Blasi-Alvin-Bermuda triangle is busy fratricizing one another, Vladimir is the only one working to highlight the island’s dynamics and issues. It might not even be worth it, but applause to the workaholic.
Mazzoli believes in the Truman Show (and participates in the altar boy): Voice 5
We’ve more or less always advertised it, but the Marco Mazzoli Show is boring. Luckily he only has a weekend left before the finals, which in all likelihood will crown him the winner. The reality show has enslaved the castaway and the camera doesn’t move without a nice close-up of him or zoo henchmen Paolo Noise and Fabio Alisei. A loop that was fun at first but is now boring as hell. It’s pure (sub)cultural hegemony: the trio takes the place of Ilary Blasi himself, whom she thanks because, as usual, she doesn’t feel like it. They even put her in the crossfire of lewd questions, including, “Could you tell the time without opening the safe?”. But that is and remains L’Isola dei Famosi, not a maxi straight from the zoo. In addition, the shipwrecked Mazzoli proves that he has excellent skills as a “paraguru”. For example, after being the sworn enemy of Lo Cicero and Prestes for nine weeks, he is now, just a breath away from the finale, both friends. He says of the former rugby player: “From home you only see fragments, but in reality he and I, men of a certain age, have argued for no more than half a minute from the beginning until today.” And then he comforts the woman, who is always crying Helena, because: “It breaks my heart to see a woman cry.” As someone who claimed to have absolutely no intention of “throwing my life on a horrible little mat”, he has a desire to win. Here I am. From villain to altar boy in a semifinal. Purer in heart than the former Ursuline Cristina. Sin.
Ilary Blasi would rather go for an ice cream (and that’s good for you): Vote 7
We saw her indifferent to Corinne Clery’s swooned life a few weeks ago. After all, Ilary Blasi only lights up when there is a fight with Enrico Papi and Alvin, his personal Red and Toby. It’s colder on the castaways than on the Titanic’s iceberg. And on Twitter, they love her for exactly that reason. If we were in a Netflix series there would be no separation between the former Letterina and the character of Secco, Zerocalcare’s boyfriend who doesn’t care about anything. He just wants to go get some ice cream, she wants the episode to end soon. However, we doubt that the two move in the same circles. The performance peak of this semi-final, one of the moments of elimination, in which Blasi had to read motivating thoughts to the two castaways of the current nomination. Helena Prestes was touched by the beautiful words and Ilary immediately distanced herself: “Oh look, an author wrote them to me. In fact, when she has to repeat the lineup, she always has the same intonation and enthusiasm of a five-year-old who learned to read two hours earlier and is amazed at the sound of her own voice. However, it is precisely this whole sloppiness that is worshiped by social networks. Perhaps those tweeting are too young to remember the days when leader Simona Ventura was at the helm of the reality show. Blessed ignorance.
Cristina Scuccia wanted the bike (and now she’s getting spooky): Voice 4
“The mystery of the person,” is how Vladimir Luxuria defined the strenuous (to the public) relationship that former Ursuline Cristina Scuccia claims to have with a person of uncertain gender and identity in Madrid. To describe the shipwrecked woman revealed, Helena Prestes used the unfortunate expression: “The nun is dead”. That means Scuccia would just be an ad hoc created TV character, fake to the core. We know full well that the Brazilian-made model would spout any nonsense to cause a stir and discredit others, but let’s start over: what if she’s right this time? For nine weeks (not one and a half) Cristina has been craving love and lack of this “person” she seems to have only been seeing for a few months, maybe three. Her name has never escaped her in all this time. Not even in tears. He always references it, making sure to say “he or she” as if following a script and with respect for spontaneity. Maybe because he knows that his sexual orientation is the only card he can play to make himself “interesting” in the eyes of the public? The suspicion is there. The semifinal brings new sleepy updates on the Scuccia soap: Cristina and her sweetheart would live together, “along with other people in the house because obviously I don’t have a lot of money,” she specifies. Among other things, she seems to be obsessed with order: in the love message she sends to her “person”, she hopes that the house is in order and the clothes are hung correctly. Instead, an overwhelming passion. In any case, Ilary Blasi brings you bad news: the reality crew could not contact this “person”. Or maybe yes, but the ectoplasm wouldn’t say anything to the former Ursulines. In nine weeks not even a pinch in writing. Unless we’re in front of a new Mark Caltagirone, this is officially ghosting. One already regrets the monastery…
Helena Prestes, as unbearable as it is indispensable: vote 7.5
He tried to follow in the footsteps of his friend Nikita Pelizon, who had already won the last Big Brother Vip. For nine grueling weeks he played the role of the group’s misunderstood victim. All that Raz Degan-esque strategy to consider herself the winner and get knocked out of flash televoting just before the finals. And with 71% of the votes against. If Marco Mazzoli was the positive pillar of this edition, at the opposite polarity we find Helena Prestes with scepter and crown out of purely accidental resentment. Always a bad word for everyone, including (alleged) friend and slave Carlo, the model was the specter of every castaway in Honduras. Without them, however, we would have had to poke them one at a time with sticks to see if they were alive. He has only created negative and toxic dynamics, but he remains a huge reality animal. Given all the effort so far and the pace of karma, I deserve to get to the final episode. After all, she’s put in more work than most of this reality show’s writers with her sudden, stormy tantrums. Audience allergic to noise pollution but ungrateful. Note to followers: As of today, alleged boyfriend Carlo is once again under the model’s tyrannical rule and is therefore physically prevented from posting stories showing his graces. double sin.
Gian Maria Sainato, crazy about scripts and caretaker with passion: Voice 5-
He works “with his hair”, he was once vain and “only stayed in five-star hotels”. Today he is also content with those who have four because he has “learned humility.” For some reason, the reality show’s writers identified in this man, Gian Maria Sainato, a character to love at all costs. When he opens his mouth, Daddy and Blasi roar with laughter. A laugh that reverberates even more amidst the general arctic frost. It’s a complete turnaround
The five finalists, ranging from wonderful to highly predictable: Voice 6
There were more eliminations than eliminations in this edition of Isola dei Famosi. And it was also among the least seen of all. Until the final episode, Marco Mazzoli (what a surprise!), Cristina Scuccia (ditto!), Pamela Camassa (at least one who deserved it without outside help) and Andrea Lo trudge, crawling in the mud on their stomachs and with general Indifference to the last episode of Cicero (in Honduras they call him “Lucifer”) and Luca Vetrone (the NIP that no one felt the need for). Unfortunately it’s not interesting. The castaways believe she’s been eliminated, but she looms unseen on the shore of the last beach and that’s why Alessandra Drusian is still in play, 50% of the Jalisse, perhaps too good-natured for this hellish group of brawls and verbal fisticuffs and very tense nerves that make up the “island”. Undeservedly from the “Fab 6” Nathaly Caldonazzo, who enlivened every second of his fiery stay through the Art of War, and Helena Prestes, who did the same. Whoever wins will be crowned the winner of an edition no one will remember more than Tuesday 20th June. Appointment on Monday 19th with the finale (in direct competition with the GialappaShow on Tv8. Feel free to be on the side of history that suits you best. But whoever changes the channel will be shipwrecked between the chariots suffer).