Last Saturday I really took off, yes, I totally lost my temper. It was public, it was loud and it was worth it.
Earlier that day, I made a tongue-in-cheek TikTok video saying I was going to make a long lunch and I wasn’t going to choose “chaos” as the topic of the day. I failed, dear reader, I failed. As we all know, long lunches make for hilarious occasions, but for once I can honestly say the chaos was justified.
It all started in the late afternoon when I was going to an after-lunch bar with a group of girlfriends and these older, slightly drunk men walked in. We’re talking late 40’s, early 50’s. They wore Bonds shirts and skinny jeans to keep them looking young and fun. Spoiler alert: They didn’t.
It was clear these guys were out to have a good time, and as they stared at my girlfriends, who happened to be gorgeous, they turned into horny, rabid dogs.
One of my friends and I were forced to walk past them to go to the bar when the smaller of the ‘gentlemen’ reached out and felt her hand while eerily telling her to sit at her table. We’re not just talking about a slimy touch from his hand, we’re talking about both hands rubbing up and down her sides, from under her shoulders to her thighs before lingering on her breasts.
Jana Hocking (far right) and her friends, including Anna Heinrich (far left) and Lisa Hyde (back right) from The Bachelor, at their last long lunch
The girls were having a great time – until they went to a bar afterwards and had a confrontation with a group of guys who, as Jana (centre in blue) says, “turned into horny rabid dogs” when they saw them. The man in the back picture, second from the right, is friends with the group of women and is in no way related to the creepy group of men
Jana saw red when her friend was sexually harassed at the bar and decided to do something about it
We both froze. She tried to laugh and walk past him, but I saw red. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. It was 2023 and here was this creep treating her body like a piece of meat.
Now warning, what I said next wasn’t pretty. I raised my voice as loud as I could and said, “HANDS OFF HER YOU BAD DRESSES!” At first he looked like his eyes were about to pop out, then he turned to his friends and they laughed all. Which, of course, only made the situation worse.
We went to the bar and my friend looked really upset. After ranting about how it’s not okay, and something I haven’t experienced since the 90’s, and do men really think it’s still okay to treat women like this? She sighed and said it was something she experienced all the time. Especially when alcohol is involved.
We returned to our table and quickly found that they were sitting across from us. The handy little waved at us to provoke us, then quickly hid behind his mate, giggling like a kid. Now I’d like to stay, I ignored it, but like I said, I clearly chose chaos that day, so I stood up, pointed at him and said a word that would literally make my mum shut down from her farm and judging me for (which I clearly expect of her once she reads this).
I said, ‘Instead of hiding behind your mate like a big man, how about you come over here and apologize, shit!’ I know, I know, it’s a horrible word, and yes, I’m a little embarrassed, but I couldn’t believe that not only did this guy attack my girlfriend, but he also had the skin to sit across from us and to mock them.
His friend then turned to me and said, “Sit down and calm down.” Well that was it, I stormed back to the bar acting like a proper Karen. I demanded to see the manager and once found I told him what had happened and bless his soul as did I, he saw red.
“The little Handy (middle) waved at us to provoke us and then quickly hid behind his mate and giggled like a kid,” says Jana
“I couldn’t believe that this guy not only attacked my girlfriend but also had the fur to sit across from us and taunt her,” says Jana (pictured with her friends on the day).
Thankfully, not all men are like the group that tried to ruin our day, says Jana
He marched me out and in no uncertain terms told the group to get out. In literally a few minutes, this bar owner had restored my faith in men. He didn’t ask any questions, he didn’t accuse us of anything, he just saw facts. A man had inappropriately touched a visitor’s body and had to be removed.
As they were leaving, one of the men called out, ‘Well, how about you tell them to get dressed!’ Yes, he tried to dismiss their behavior by implying that because of the clothes we wear, men are unable to stop themselves from sexually harassing women — aka “we ask.” Let me remind you that they wore tight Bonds tops and skinny jeans that outlined everything… and yet WE managed not to grab them. But no no no, tell us we can’t wear silky sundresses ’cause eek, you might get an urge.
It was a frightening reminder that some men still think that way, and when I thought about it the next day, it really made me sad. If the bar owner hadn’t been as outraged as we were I would have lost all faith. Thankfully, it’s not just men.
So how do we extricate the creeps from society? Is there an anti-Andrew Tate class we can send her to? I would like to know because I never want to experience anything like this again. I can’t wash my mouth out with soap every weekend – my mother will cast me out.