When a relationship ends, there are always signs. Sometimes you only notice them after the fact, but they are always there.
For Hollywood icon Jane Fonda, it was an unexpected and darkly hilarious moment that signaled the end of three of her marriages, and countless women have an inkling of it.
Jane Fonda knew her marriages had ended all three times in the most hilarious and relatable ways.
Well, that would be a pretty good indicator, right?!
The 85-year-old actress and activist has three husbands under her belt. She was married to the French filmmaker Roger Vadim from 1965 to 1973, to the activist and politician Tom Hayden from 1973 to 1990 and to the media mogul Ted Turner from 1991 to 2001.
Fonda had been open about how strained all three partnerships were, from Vadim’s drinking problem to Hayden’s infidelity.
She has also spoken out about how the problems arising from her relationship with her father, fellow Hollywood legend Henry Fonda, have negatively impacted their marriages. Including Turner, who she thought she would be married to forever.
But ultimately it was something much simpler that tipped her off that each of her three marriages was on the way out.
During a recent interview with podcaster Heather McMahan for her Absolutely Not podcast, Fonda made it clear as only she could.
“I always know when a marriage is going to end sooner or later because I start dreaming about his funeral,” she said, joking about the laughter that erupted in the background: “They laugh, but it absolutely is.” TRUE !”
Fonda’s teasing insight certainly resonated with other women. “This is 100% real,” said a woman who broke up with her boyfriend a month ago. Another woman wrote that she knew her relationship was in bad shape through similar thoughts, adding: “I thought it would be easier if he wasn’t there, and then I thought, Oh, that’s not good !”
One divorcee quipped, “Still does it [think about his death]. Even after the divorce,” and one commenter shared how hilariously detailed her thoughts about her ex’s funeral are: “I’m absolutely close to attending my first husband’s funeral,” she wrote. (What kind of dense food are you bringing with you exactly?)
But death fantasies aside, Fonda also revealed how she maintained friendships with her exes, including Turner.
Fonda’s first two husbands died, Roger Vadim in 2001 and Tom Hayden in 2016. But Ted Turner is still very much alive at 85 and despite their marriage ending in 2001, Fonda was able to maintain a friendship with him. How?
“Well, at first I wanted to kill him, like you do,” Fonda admitted of her breakup with Turner. But to move forward, she told McMahan that she did the same thing she did with Vadim and Hayden: she wrote him a nasty letter but never sent it.
“I’m writing the letter I really want to write to him that I still have,” she said. “Don’t send it. But you write it and that helps.” Between all that and therapy, Fonda said, “I got through the anger phase and then remembered why I fell in love with him.”
Fonda said her close relationships with some of Turner’s five children also encouraged her to find a way to overcome her anger, and now her post-marriage life has evolved into a truly close friendship. “Ted and I communicate all the time,” she told McMahan, and in June I went fishing with him.”
Fonda is open to the idea of loving again, but with one caveat.
“I’m ashamed to say this, but if I were to take a lover,” Fonda told McMahan, “he would have to be 20.” Cougar alert! But why 20? “Because I don’t like old skin!” Perfectly said as only Fonda could.
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So will we ever see all those letters to their exes? Don’t expect a full-length memoir any time soon. Fonda said she wanted the good memories and relationships to remain, not the heartache.
“When I know I’m going to leave, I’m going to burn them all,” she told McMahan. A fitting step from a woman who always finds her way back to the positive, no matter what challenges she faces.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer covering topics such as pop culture, social justice and human interest.