Matt Rourke/AP
Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce speaks during a press conference announcing his retirement on Monday, March 4.
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With a height of 1.80 m and a weight of 120 kilograms, former Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce often towers over other people. His big, bushy beard makes him look like a modern-day Paul Bunyan.
When he announced his resignation, his tears began to flow. During his 40-minute speech, he hid his face behind giant hands and thanked his coaches and band teacher for teaching him what he needed to learn to become a great football player and an even greater person.
While telling himself “come on” to control his emotions, he talked about the influence of his father, Ed Kelce.
So many people know by now that Jason Kelce is an All-Pro center who had an illustrious 13-year career. He won a Super Bowl. He also played in a Super Bowl against his brother, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce. (And just to impress my daughter, Jason met Taylor Swift.)
All of these awards started with dedicated parents. And while I owe so much to his mother, Donna Kelce, it is a joy for me to see a truly dedicated father as a role model for other fathers.
Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images
Ed (left) and Kylie, Jason's wife (right), react during Jason's NFL retirement announcement March 4 in Philadelphia.
The story of Jason's father's influence is a quiet one. It doesn't contain the drama of an absent father leaving for a gallon of milk. The story lacks the moral outrage of a father refusing to pay child support. There is no such thing as an idiot who can't seem to complete the simplest of tasks.
Jason's story is about a normal father who loves his children. He continued his work at the steel mill while encouraging his sons to do their best. And when her best efforts failed, his father was there and hugged her.
We all know that the teenage years can be chaotic. Our self-esteem depends on our appearance and, for many men, on how strong we are or how tough the world perceives us.
Through tears, Jason shared how his father helped him in those moments of self-doubt or when his confidence waned. “I’m a product of my upbringing,” he said. “A father who is present, loving and devoted is perhaps the greatest gift any child in our society could wish for.”
He owes his success to his father's “unwavering faith.” Jason and his father have shown how important a father is in our children's lives and that the decisions we make have far-reaching consequences that none of us can imagine.
My father had a similar influence on my life. I grew up on a small farm in southern Arkansas. We had pigs, pumpkins and chickens that I was convinced were out to get me. Even outside of school, I spent most of my time with my father.
The lessons my father taught me were more than just right and wrong. He taught me to be confident because in his opinion I could do anything. When I thought I wasn't tough enough, he said I was “pretty tough” with that southern edge in his voice.
When my father told us that he had multiple sclerosis, he told us not to worry about it. I was 8 years old. Eventually the disease progressed to the point where he had to use a wheelchair.
“Ah, everything will be okay,” he would say every time I showed worry or concern.
This optimism blew me away as a teenager. But now that I'm a father myself, I understand it the same way Jason understands a father's support. Everything will be okay because my father believed in me.
I've seen research that says children with involved fathers perform better in school, have higher self-esteem and, just like Jason Kelce, show empathy. Children whose fathers are involved are also more likely to “take the straight path,” as my Southern father would say—a euphemism for avoiding drugs, alcohol, and police visits.
Even though I know these things, watching real fathers like Jason Kelce and especially Ed is so important to me.
My dad was the original stay-at-home dad when I was growing up. Until we moved, I did the housework on the farm with him. From there, he and my mother graduated from college and went to work. However, due to his illness, he was no longer able to drive a car after just a few years. This time, as a teenager, I needed my father the most and he was there for me.
Thanks to my father's support and faith, I went to college. After graduating, I worked for Adult Protective Services in Texas. My job was to protect old and disabled people – people like my father. And after eight years and two children, I became a stay-at-home dad. Eventually I wrote a book about my experiences.
The most revealing part of Jason's farewell speech is when he talks about his enlistment and how his father cried because his son had achieved his dreams. Not that the father's dreams were realized through his son's life, but his son's dreams.
This part tells you pretty much everything you need to know about Ed Kelce. These are the stories we need to hold up as examples and not exceptions, because they are not. They are the stories of ordinary fathers who encourage their sons to become unusual.
Shannon Carpenter is a writer, author of The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad, and married father of three.