Kaley Cuoco is entering a new phase in her life.
In an in-depth interview for Glamor magazine, the flight attendant star opens up about the harsh lessons she’s learned in therapy — including finding what she really wants in life, how being a workaholic has affected her past relationships has impacted and how she’s finding emotional balance amidst Hollywood success.
“My therapist and I work on forgiveness and forgiving myself when I’ve made mistakes,” she said. “I think the hardest part was just accepting that I’m normal and not superwoman. I would highly recommend therapy to anyone out there. Even if your life is going really well.”
‘The Flight Attendant’ star Kaley Cuoco graces the cover of Glamor magazine as she opens up about her emotional recovery after the divorce. (Photograph by Amy Harry)
The 36-year-old has been at the top of her game since her starring role on The Big Bang Theory ended three years ago. Cuoco, one of Hollywood’s most powerful women, admits her unhealthy obsession with work has led to the deterioration of previous relationships in her life — including in part her recent divorce from equestrian Karl Cook in September.
“I admit to being married to my career. That’s me,” she explained. “It was always my first love. I think that’s hard to overcome. I think when women get to that point…[and yes] It’s a challenge for me [because] Things in my life and people sometimes don’t match how I feel about my career. And I admit that this is holding me back in a way. I talk about this a lot in therapy.
“I’m so black and white and it’s just really hard for me to find the grey,” she added. “It’s all or nothing. I actually have a t-shirt that says, ‘I’m still trying to find the gray.’ And I admit, that’s a downfall. I lost relationships because of it, I lost friendships because of it.”
The actress, who has been particularly open about her emotional struggles on social media over the past year, explained that she wanted her fans to know that it’s okay not to be okay.
The story goes on
“I wanted people to see that not everything is magic and not everything is easy,” she said of speaking so publicly about her struggles. “I’m fighting for what I want, what I think I should have. To be afraid, to be afraid of the future. It’s the pressure of the family, of the kids, of, Can I have all these things? Do I want these things? It’s weird how one part of your life feels so damn good and the other part feels like a mess. I learn as I go. But I think it’s also to know that life is really short and you have to take the step when you’re unhappy. You must move forward.”
She continued, “This past year has been the greatest growth I’ve had in my entire life in my 36 years on this planet. And it changed my life. My life will never be the same again. And I totally feel that. And I see things differently now. Change is good.”
In a recent interview with Glamor magazine, Cuoco explained that while she will never marry again, she will always be open to love. (Photograph by Amy Harry)
Cuoco’s personal struggles channeled her character’s emotional journey on The Flight Attendant, earning her an Emmy nomination for Best Actress in a Comedy. But, as she puts it, tapping into her personal “trauma” for the role took its toll on her body.
“I had these emotional scenes and then I went home and cried about my personal life,” she explained. “I got a rash that went from my lower stomach up my leg. It lasted seven months. I discovered through therapy and through my doctors that it was completely emotional. Such was the stress [showing up] physically. I couldn’t even walk. The scenes were so hot and driven; there was no rest.”
Looking ahead while making the decision that she “will never get married again,” Cuoco said she will always be open about love. Only this time it will be a deeper kind of love.
“I want a deeper relationship with that [I’m not afraid to] Take a week off here and there,” she said. “I want to breathe between jobs, which I haven’t done since Big Bang started. I haven’t even taken a vacation yet. I do not want. The thought of going anywhere, even for the weekend, is like, I can’t. i love working I’d rather be working than hanging out on the beach somewhere. but [that relentless pursuit] made me sick. I mean, the rash on my leg doesn’t lie.”
Cuoco still believes that “there’s someone out there.”
“I love love. I’m not someone who wants to be alone. I just need to figure out my priorities a bit and make sure I know now that I need to water this relationship. It’s like a plant. Sometimes I get too focused on the garden instead of the specific plant that needs watering. And I’m aware of that. I want to change, I want to get better,” she said.
Want lifestyle and wellness news delivered to your inbox? Login here for the Yahoo Life newsletter.