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- If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please visit NationalEatingDisorders.org
Kerry Washington has revealed she considered suicide at the height of her battle with eating disorders while at university.
The now 46-year-old actress, in an emotional interview with Robin Roberts for a 20/20 special on Sunday, detailed how she entered a cycle of “binge eating and endless exercise” as she struggled to create a “perfect” image to maintain.
The “Scandal” star, who will release his memoir “Thicker Than Water” on September 26, writes that her life “became a toxic cycle of self-abuse that used hunger, binge eating, body obsession and compulsive exercise.” “.
“I could feel that the abuse was a way to really hurt myself, like I didn’t want to be here.” “It scared me that I didn’t want to be here because I was in so much pain.”
When asked if she had considered suicide, she replied, “Yes.” Yes… The behavior consisted of tiny little acts of trying to destroy myself.
Devastating: Kerry Washington has revealed she considered suicide at the height of her battle with an eating disorder while at university (pictured April 2023). Seen in college: The actress, now 46, detailed how she falls into a vicious cycle of “binge eating and endless exercise” In an emotional interview with Robin Roberts for a 20/20 special on Sunday, she struggled to find a “perfect” maintain image
“The first thing that brought me to my knees – like the first time I got on my knees and prayed to a power greater than myself to say, ‘I can’t do this, I need some help’ – was the eating disorder.’
“I was good at playing ‘perfectly.’ I was good at control. I could party all night and drink and smoke and have sex and still show up and get good grades. I knew how to handle it; I was so productive and the food blew me away.
“The body dysmorphia, the body hatred, that was out of my control and really led to me feeling like, ‘I need help for someone or something bigger than me because I’m in trouble and I don’t know how.’ to live with it.’
The star said that although she is now over the worst of her illness, she still needs to “check herself” sometimes.
She said: “I wouldn’t say I’ve never had anything to do with food, it’s just very different now.” It’s not the extreme. There are no suicidal thoughts, I’m not there anymore. But I know, “Oh, I’m really into this chocolate, this is good information for me.”
“The ground has gotten a lot higher, and a little discomfort is enough for me to know that this is an opportunity to check myself.” But it’s definitely looking a lot healthier. It is much easier. It’s a lot more sensible than it used to be.”
Candide: “I was good at playing ‘perfectly’.” I was good at control. I could party all night and drink and smoke and have sex and still show up and get good grades. I knew how to handle it; I was so productive and the food blew me away (pictured at George Washington University)
In 2020, Washington spoke to Essence Magazine about her eating disorder and the shame she felt while secretly battling the illness.
She said, “I ate anything and everything…sometimes until I passed out,” she told the magazine in 2020. But because I had this personality that was driven to perfectionism, I told people I was in the library . Instead, you go to the gym and work out for hours.
“Keeping my behavior secret was painful and isolating. “There was a lot of guilt and a lot of shame.”
She began therapy to treat her disorder, adding, “Learning to love myself and my body is a lifelong process.” But I definitely don’t struggle like I used to.
“Therapy helped me realize that maybe it’s okay for me to communicate my feelings. Instead of literally stuffing them with food, maybe it’s okay for me to express myself.”
Washington and her husband, former NFL star Nnamdi Asomugha, whom she married in 2013, share eight-year-old daughter Isabelle and six-year-old son Caleb.
The New York-born actress made her film debut with an appearance in Magical Make-Over (1994).
As her career took off, she was offered roles in larger feature films, such as the 2001 film Save The Last Dance, and was also cast alongside Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in Mr & Mrs. Smith (2005). .
She later starred in Quentin Tarantino’s critically acclaimed feature film “Django Unchained” in 2012 and got her start on the ABC series “Scandal” that same year, which led to her receiving a number of Golden Globe and Emmy awards for her performance received nominations.
Couple: Washington and her husband, former NFL star Nnamdi Asomugha – whom she married in 2013 – share daughter Isabelle, eight, and son Caleb, six (pictured in 2018)
After the series ended in 2018, she continued to have success, such as working with Reese Witherspoon in Little Fires Everywhere and the Netflix adaptation The School For Good And Evil.
In addition to enjoying a prominent position in the entertainment industry, Kerry is known for her commitment and was named to the 2022 Time Women Of The Year list.
If you or someone you know needs support now, call 988, text or chat at 988lifeline.org
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please visit NationalEatingDisorders.org