Prince Harry claims he did not receive a hug from father King Charles III following the tragic death of his beloved mother, Princess Diana.
“Pa didn’t hug me. Under normal circumstances he wasn’t very good at showing emotion, how could he be expected to show it in a crisis like this?” The Duke of Sussex, 38, writes in his new memoir Spare.
“His hand fell on my knee one more time and he said, ‘It’s going to be fine.’ That was quite a lot for him. Fatherly, hopeful, kind. And so very untrue.”
Harry goes on to describe the conversation he had with his father after his mother died in 1997. He was just 12 years old at the time of her death.
“[Dad] sat on the edge of the bed. He put a hand on my knee. ‘Darling, Mummy was in a car accident,'” Harry recalled in the memoir.
“I remember thinking, Crash… OK. But is she ok? Yes? I vividly remember that thought going through my head. And I remember waiting patiently for Pa to confirm that Mummy was indeed okay. And I remember he didn’t.”
Prince Harry claims his father, King Charles III, “didn’t hug him” after breaking the tragic news of mother Princess Diana’s death. Tim Graham Photo Library via Get
Harry explains that he then began to feel an “inner shift” when he knew what was coming next.
“I started silently begging Pa or God or both: No, no, no,” he says.
The Duke of Sussex also describes how his 74-year-old father told him about the medical “complications” and a “head injury” that occurred after Princess Diana was involved in a car accident in the Pont de l’Alma tunnel in Paris.
Harry admits that initially he didn’t believe Princess Diana had actually died. Getty Images
Harry admits that initially he didn’t believe Princess Diana had actually died. Tim Graham Photo Library via Get
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“‘Mom was hurt pretty badly and taken to the hospital, love,'” Charles said, according to Harry. “He used to call me ‘darling boy,’ but now he said it quite a lot. His voice was soft. He was in shock it seemed.”
Harry says he still believed doctors could somehow “fix her head” and that he could see her “at the latest tonight.”
“Those phrases stick in my head like darts on a board,” Harry writes of his father’s words when telling him about Diana’s death. Tim Graham Photo Library via Get
“‘You tried, darling. I’m afraid she didn’t make it,’” Harry recalled as his father had told him. “These sentences stick in my head like arrows in a board. That’s what he said, I know that for sure. She did not make it. And then everything seemed to grind to a halt.”
Harry also recalls collapsing at his mother’s funeral in Westminster Abbey on September 6, 1997.
Harry recalls being “ashamed” of crying at his mother’s funeral. Getty Images
Harry recalls being “ashamed” of crying at his mother’s funeral. Getty Images
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Harry recalls being “ashamed” of crying at his mother’s funeral. WireImage
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“My body spasmed and my chin dropped and I started sobbing uncontrollably into my hands. I felt ashamed for breaking the family ethos, but I couldn’t take it any longer,” he writes.
Despite attending the funeral and learning of the “official” events of the accident, Harry was convinced his mother was “staging an accident” to get out of her “miserable” life in the spotlight.
Harry first convinced himself that his mother’s death was just a ruse. Getty Images
Harry first convinced himself that his mother’s death was just a ruse. Getty Images
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Harry was later asked to write his mother a “last” letter. He says that was the moment he really understood that she was gone forever.
“I wish I had dug deep and told my mother all the things that are on my heart, especially my regrets about our last phone call,” he writes. “She had called early in the evening, the night of the crash, but I was running around with Willy and my cousins and wouldn’t stop playing.
“So I was short with her. I had shooed Mummy off the toilet, impatient to get back to my games phone,” he continues. “I wish I had apologized for that. I wish I had found words to describe how much I loved her. Little did I know the search would take decades.”
In “Spare,” which hits US bookshelves on January 10, Harry also details his strained relationship with his brother, Prince William, who lives a life as a “spare” for the “heir,” and Charles jokes about who owns his “real” father is among many other stories.