Réseau Contact, the dating website founded in 1996, closed on November 30th. It’s the end of an era. Thanks to this website, many couples were created, whose members were on average 50 to 55 years old. Where do we find love today at this age?
Published at 1:23 am. Updated at 6:30 a.m.
When we talk to singles aged 45, 50 or 60, we see that they have tried different ways to meet lovers and that they are gaining experience! There are of course applications like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, sites like EliteSingles, RencontreSportive. There are also caring friends who organize blind dates, old flirts we find on Facebook, a recently separated colleague, restaurant outings, weddings and even funerals! What if love was found in the produce section of the supermarket?
“Why not! You have to be open-minded,” says Andrée-Anne Guénette, 46, co-author of the book Dating in all its states: confidential information from two girls who are no longer 20 years old. “Many people who have been for a long time are in a relationship are a little confused about their new singleness at 50. It’s normal. We often hear people say that they could never imagine dating at their age! You’re not alone! The situation is new and unknown. So why not be curious and try everything possible at your own pace? »
The woman, who was widowed at 38 and single with two children, started dating two years later. She browsed through apps, had different experiences, but finally found love on Facebook Dating at the age of 43. “The reassuring thing about this site is that you can see if you have mutual friends. It avoids unpleasant surprises,” she says.
Bianca Longpré (aka Ordinary Mother) met François Massicotte in 2006 through Réseau Contact. She was 26 years old and he was 40. She worked as a nurse in the hospital and studied nursing. “I didn’t have time to meet people, so I registered with Réseau Contact and it worked very well. We were spoiled for choice! She remembers. François sent me a message during the holiday season, I didn’t know who he was! On December 27th we went cross-country skiing in Saint-Lin. It was our first date, we had fun and have been together for 17 years. He was older than me and didn’t fit what I was looking for, but I thought, “Why not!” »
PHOTO PROVIDED BY BIANCA LONGPRÉ
François Massicotte and Bianca Longpré, during their first Christmas together in 2007
PHOTO PROVIDED BY BIANCA LONGPRÉ
François Massicotte and Bianca Longpré with their children
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Do we take this time on Tinder even if the person isn’t a physical match for us? She asks. “It’s faster. We say to ourselves: “This guy doesn’t meet my criteria, move on to the next!” I would never have met François like that,” thinks Bianca Longpré.
Applications: a necessary evil
Sylvie*, 51, doesn’t like the Tinder application; she finds it too quick; she likes to chat before agreeing to a meeting. “After three text messages, men very often want to meet up… and let’s be honest, the photos never correspond to reality,” she complains. Her last encounter was through the website OkCupid. She stated in her profile that she was looking for a long-term relationship. “We wrote to each other for a little over a week and the exchange went well. We meet for coffee, we have a good time, great conversations, funny, friendly. He walks me to my car, very gentlemanly, with two kisses on the cheek. »
A few minutes later she received a text message. “He told me it was beautiful. Then another text: “I don’t know if you noticed, but I kept looking at your tits.” He continues: “Your breasts look really fantastic. My libido is on overdrive, that’s my ulterior motive, so let’s not waste time. “Obviously I was very disappointed… It’s just depressing and what a waste of time,” says Sylvie.
This observation is shared by many singles.
Websites and applications wear out over the long term. It’s emotionally difficult. Right now I feel empty and discouraged.
Claude*, 62 years old
“I dream of going to a cafe and falling in love, but I’m not Brad Pitt! », continues the man who was in a relationship for 28 years and was single at 57. “I had to relearn how to seduce and start over. In a year and a half, I met 27 people, I met someone I stayed with for three years, and I’ve been single again for six months. »
“They are one option among many; Applications lack authenticity,” says Martin*, 57, who has been single for seven years. He goes out less often than before, but is very sociable and thinks that anything is possible. “You can meet anywhere as long as two people have the same opinion,” he says. Recently I noticed a woman in the supermarket, but I didn’t dare approach her. »
In her early fifties, Chantal* met her former partner on EliteSingles, with whom she remained together for five years. She is 60 years old, single for almost two years and navigates between Tinder, Facebook Rencontres, EliteSingles, RencontreSportive. “Out of 90 meetings, only two men suited me! » She admits that the older we get, the more demanding we become and that out of spite it is the only way to get to know people.
Sports, another option
In 2002, Anne-Marie Lefebvre founded RencontreSportive, a website that brings together around 90,000 members who share a common passion: sport. “We are a community of active people aged 35 to 65. The members organize various sporting activities and can also meet in person,” she explains.
Caroline, 60, has been single for two years. She separated from the father of her two children in 2011 and has since met a few people, in particular an ex-partner who found her on Facebook and with whom she stayed together for some time. But she finally found what she was looking for on the RencontreSportive website. “At my age, that’s how it works. Sport is my lifestyle, I do skiing, tennis, hiking. On this site there is a lot of information about the members’ profiles, their professions, sports practiced, age, region and several photos,” she explains. “I want to find a lover who shares my interests, that’s really important. I had a meeting recently, we’re making very slow progress… we’ll see. »
PHOTO PROVIDED BY MICHEL CAOUETTE
Michel Caouette and Lysabelle met on RencontreSportive.
Luckily, there are still great stories out there. Michel Caouette still can’t believe it. After breaking up at the age of 46 after a 21-year relationship, he wanted to take time to see each other again. “Back then I was out in bars, it was easy, when I was 18 to 20, but when I was 46? A colleague told me about RencontreSportive, I was a little nervous… A month later I met Lysabelle, we were born on the same day and in the same year, you can’t make that up! We went ice skating and never left each other’s side. »
* Some people do not want to be recognized by their family or employer, so only their first name appears in the text.