Thirty years ago, suburban housewife Mary Joe Butafuoko was shot in the face by her husband’s 16-year-old lover on the front porch of their home in Masapequa, New York, a story that has spread around the world.
The .25 caliber submachine gun bullet struck the base of her brain above her spine. But the strong-willed Mary Joe survived and then underwent numerous surgeries and facial reconstructions, along with the emotional trauma of her unfaithful husband and underage mistress.
Now, speaking to DailyMail.com in an exclusive interview on the eve of the anniversary of this fateful day, 66-year-old Mary Joe says, “I don’t want a story about ‘poor me.'”
“I am satisfied, I am happy, I am very grateful. This is the quietest time of my life, but it was a hard-won peace.
It was a scandal that the media could not get enough of, and Mary Joe, who is still paralyzed on one side of her face and deaf in one ear, says she was ridiculed for her tragedy.
“It’s become a big joke,” she said.
But she finally found peace, living in a quiet area of the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles. And although she has lived there for 26 years, Mary Joe has retained some of her candor on Long Island.
When asked if there were any misconceptions about her that she wanted to correct, she replied, “Oh, no. There were so many, to be honest, I’m not trolling.
Suburban housewife Mary Joe Butafuoko was shot in the head 30 years ago by then-husband Joey’s teenage lover on the front porch of their home in Masapequa, New York.
Mary Joe’s compassion led her to board the Institute for Facial Paralysis with the doctor who helped reconstruct her face in 2005.
Mary Joe said she was mocked at the time for her tragedy. “It’s become a big joke,” she said. She was seen at a press conference in 1992 after the shooting
Mary Joe’s husband, Joey, was having an affair with Amy Fisher, who was only 16 at the time. The couple can be seen in the photo above with their two children
Mary Joe told DailyMail.com that the family was forced to leave their home and move to the West Coast when life there became unbearable.
“These days, when I am recognized, this is a positive thing. But then I was in the grocery store looking at me, shouting, “What’s wrong with you? Why are you staying with this idiot? ” And even worse.
“I’m a housewife, I’m not a movie star, I wasn’t used to it. I had two small children who were still in school, I had to think about them.
Mary Joe stayed with Joey for everything before announcing it, leaving in 2003.
The family reunited and originally settled in Agura Hills, California, about 35 miles north of LA.
“The move was not here because I wanted to. I left my family, my friends, the support group, my doctors. Life had become impossible. My husband was crazy and had lost his job. I came out of this.
“I was on Percocet and Xanax every day since I was 92 and I wasn’t in my mind. I couldn’t find Agoura Hills on a map. What brought us here in 1996 was the school system.
She believes she has moved 20 times since then.
“I’ve lived all over the valley in a big circle, West Hills, Woodland Hills, Oak Park, I’ve lived in downtown Newport / Laguna and Las Vegas.
“I just dragged myself, sick, defeated. I just thought no one here would recognize me, and that’s what I wanted. I didn’t have my own voice then, as I do now.
She finally divorced her high school sweetheart Joey in 2003, but remained in the area.
Sunny days all year round mean she can drive 15 minutes and be on the beach in Malibu.
“Mom is so cute,” said her 38-year-old daughter, Jesse, as she left for work. She will tell me, “I’m going to the beach.” She packs her lunch, grabs a chair and a book, and leaves several times a week.
That’s something she did on Long Island.
“I’m a beach man, I grew up close to him, I walked all the time, just then I assumed that everyone has an ocean to go to.”
Since then, her perspective has expanded.
Joey Butafuoko served six months for rape, and Mary Joe stayed with him for a decade after the shooting. She doesn’t talk to Joey anymore
Mary Joe was shot in the head in 1992 by 17-year-old teenage girl Amy Fisher (pictured with her lawyer) who had an affair with her husband, Joey.
Amy eventually served seven years in prison for assault with a deadly weapon
This is the family’s home in Masapequa, New York, where their lives turned upside down in 1992.
“I am a different person now. I am much more compassionate. I have so much empathy, I feel how other people feel, “said Mary Joe, who now bears the maiden name Connery.
“Mom is so cute,” said her daughter, Jesse, 38, as she went to work. Mother and daughter are pictured together
“I remember when Nicole Brown Simpson [murder] it happened, two years after me, I was like, that was me, but I lived.
“I was a young blonde, a mother of two, lying in a pool of blood on my doorstep. I wondered why I live and she doesn’t? You know you turn on the news and you see something that happened, and you’re right there with them, you feel how they feel, and you know how their lives will change.
Her compassion led her to board the Institute of Facial Paralysis with Dr. Babak Azizade, the doctor who helped reconstruct her face in 2005.
“They are doing a great job. Now with Bell’s palsy and other things that can cause sagging face, it’s so important to let people know there’s help.
“Now that I know it’s a positive thing, people say I’ve helped them, I’ve inspired them in some way. This motivated me to write a book.
Mary Joe wrote the 2009 NY Times bestseller “I’m going through my fat skull: why I stayed, what I learned, and what millions of sociopathic people need to know.”
Her face is still partially paralyzed due to the attack, she is deaf in her right ear and the bullet is still stuck in her neck.
I have a lot of the usual aches and pains of an old woman, my thighs hurt, my back hurts, you know your body says “Oh, do you want to do this?” But I just told Jesse that this is the calmest thing. time in my life. I’m mentally in a good place.
Sober for more than two decades, she lives just minutes away from her son Paul, 42, and her granddaughter, and lives with her daughter
Sober for more than two decades, she lives just minutes away from her son Paul, 42, and her granddaughter, and she lives with her daughter.
She no longer talks to her ex-Joey.
Mary Joe’s second marriage to businessman Stu Tendler ended in divorce, but they remained friends until his death in 2018.
As for future meetings, the question remains open.
“Can you imagine me on Match.com and having to sit across from someone and explain it all?” No way! If something happens organically, fine. If not, I am completely satisfied. I hang out with my children and granddaughter, read, paint, I’m happy, “she said.
The Covid-19 pandemic has delayed her speaking commitments for the past two years, but she plans to start again.
Mary Joe’s manager, Melody Storm, told DailyMail.com that she was working on a project for her turbulent but now peaceful life.