In his short film Good Thank, You? (2020), Molly Manning Walker (London, 30 years old) revealed how authorities retraumatized victims who reported sexual abuse. After years as a cinematographer (from shooting A$AP Rocky's “Sundress” video clip to her most recent work in the recent release “Scrapper,” directed by her friend and generational partner Charlotte Regan), she set out to to exorcise their own pain. At the age of 16, she herself was the victim of a sexual assault and the way she was treated when she reported it prolonged her pain. “Directing this short film was the most expensive way to get therapy,” he said during his first visit to the Cannes Film Festival. Three years later, last May, he returned to the French competition to present his debut film “How To Have Sex”, where he won the prize in the “Un Certain Regard” section.
In this film, which hits Spanish cinemas on March 15, Walker delves deeper into the abuse but goes to the root of the problem, the lack of sexual education among young people, which directly impacts the basic concept of consent. “The film is about the rite of coming of age, but focuses on how we learn to have sex through the pressures of friendships, toxic masculinity and societal expectations,” he explains. “How To Have Sex” follows three friends who take a trip to Malia, Greece at the end of school. Only one of them, Tara, still carries the label of being a virgin, and trying to shed that weight at any cost is the common thread. Malia is one of those targets of debauchery that the director captures natural, excited, maddening, with little clothing, lots of alcohol and neon lights. She wasn't there in her youth, but she spent more than one summer in Magaluf, where she got many of the ideas she captured on screen. Fellatios on a stage in front of hundreds of people, drunk day and night, hypersexualization… And little real conversation about what they experienced, because nothing could spoil the best vacation of their lives. The director says that after an injury, she replaced her childhood obsession with football with alcohol and partying in her youth. And then, from one day to the next, he diverted all of his addictive energy to movies. Following the Cannes award, she was highlighted by the British press as a voice at the forefront of a new generation of female filmmakers seeking to change and update a conversation that has always been on the same page.
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Let's start with the title. Why did you decide to do this?
Quite simply, if you were to say no to “How not to have sex,” you would quickly understand what would happen. Plus, these girls are constantly thinking about how to have sex, and that's the saddest thing ever, in my opinion.
The fear and rush of losing your virginity.
It's something very sad. The concept is very crazy, we're just trying to get it out of the way. There are so many taboos surrounding female pleasure and good sex for women. The trend is: “Do it and that's it, let's not talk about it.” But we should talk about it, about how we feel, about how we want it to happen. Most women I know have experienced some form of sexual abuse and we need to talk about it. I made this film in the hope that the world will change and that it will open up a new discussion about consent. I hope we start talking more about positive sexual experiences.
The film is based on your own experiences. Why did you choose this particular vacation as a starting point?
On one of these trips I began to think about everything that was wrong in our understanding of sex, in what we had talked about before, about the pressure to get rid of virginity without talking about female sexual pleasure, about good sex for women. I was in one of those clubs where sex is present in a very aggressive and very negative way. I have experienced the pressure that Tara feels. Everything comes from real experiences that were told to me or that I experienced. In addition, the age of 16 to 18 is a crucial period. It is the moment when you will be asked to decide who you are, you are still a virgin, you will take your exams, your circle of friends will divide, change… It is the end of a time. We are a very vulnerable pressure cooker.
Skye (Lara Peake), Em (Enva Lewis) and Tara (Mia McKenna-Bruce) are the three main girlfriends of How to Have Sex. The director rehearsed with them for weeks in London in order to achieve naturalness during filming in Greece. COURTESY OF AVALON
Do you believe that after that? Me too Do we read differently what we have done or suffered in the past?
I don't know, I think now they're questioning what's happening more and more quickly. As happens with the character Tara. And I'm very interested in Skye's character, she hasn't had good sexual experiences in the past either, but she convinced herself that they were good. There are many young women like her who hide their insecurities while pushing the other girls in the same direction.
There is a lack of tools and conversations to understand consent.
It's not black or white. If two people are in a relationship but one realizes they are not doing well and wants to stop, then as decent people they stop and there are no problems. You should understand other people's feelings. This is the conversation we should be having. I didn't want to put too many drugs in the film, and we don't make men villains either… But I hope you understand women better after watching the film.
The healthiest relationship portrayed in the film is between two women.
It was important to me because I think that has changed recently. This new generation has accepted this dimension and sees it as normal. And to be honest, I didn't really know how to have sex until I was in a gay relationship.
He also decided not to dwell on the violent moments.
Watching rape scenes is unnecessary and uncomfortable for women who have experienced it. We don't need to re-traumatize ourselves, so I show everything through Tara's face.
What do you think that the presence of Intimacy Coordinators Is it generalized?
I can't believe this didn't exist before, nor that they still sometimes refuse to include it. A safe shoot was an absolute priority in my film. I know a lot of actresses who had a very bad time and left the set traumatized.