It may be surprising to learn that one of Hollywood actress Naomi Watts’ old favorite shows is “Golden Girls,” the sitcom about four older women who share a home in Miami.
“I always liked the idea of a group of older women coming together to live together and support each other in the second phase of their lives,” she says.
“But the incredible thing is that the visual representation of these women is “little old grandmas.” They’re supposed to be in their fifties! I’m 55 now.
“I believe that perception changes visually in midlife. But we also live much longer now. After menopause, we still have a lot of life ahead of us. “What a shame it would be for a 50-year-old to pack up and ride off into the sunset.”
Times have changed, and for once it’s for the better. For far too long, menopause has been a lonely journey, and menopausal women have been perceived as the final stages of antiquity.
Naomi Watts is an award-winning actress, producer, activist, and founder and chief creative officer of Stripes, which develops science-based products for midlife women
Now menopause begins to represent a passionate, strong and ambitious global tribe and a mark of honor rather than a blemish of shame that requires a bowel movement spell to remove.
This week I’m traveling to New York to launch the US arm of campaign group Menopause Mandate at the Women in Work Summit, and I’m delighted that Naomi, who I’ve known for two decades, has agreed to take part. Chair.
Others include actress Julianna Margulies, known for her starring roles in “ER,” “The Morning Show” and “The Good Wife,” and Dr. Sharon Malone, who discussed menopause on her podcast with former First Lady Michelle Obama.
Naomi is an award-winning actress, producer, activist, and founder and chief creative officer of Stripes, which develops science-based products for midlife women.
Her openness about her menopause means she also opens a metaphorical door for millions of women to talk about their own transition.
She brilliantly describes the confusion and alienation we can all feel, especially when her symptoms began when she was 36 years old.
“I experienced menopause much earlier than my peers and at a time when I was more focused on starting a family than finishing my reproductive years,” she says.
“It was a bit of a mind game to get my bearings as I had never heard the term perimenopause.
Soulmates: Naomi (left) and Mariella want to empower all older women
“There were all sorts of symptoms that I never knew were part of this hormonal change, and at the time I felt like I had them all!”
“Sure, hot flashes and night sweats were one thing; I remember my kids asking me if I was going to wet the bed because I woke up soaked.’
But, she says, there were also the symptoms no one talked about — anxiety, insomnia, brain fog, hair loss and severely dry, itchy skin.
“I felt like I was losing my mind and I definitely lost the feeling of being ‘myself’. I had been in my body for 36 years. Until then, I thought I knew myself pretty well. It was incredibly isolating to feel so out of control.
“I’m sure if there had been more information and more resources back then, my transition would have been much easier.”
One in a hundred women experience early menopause (before age 40) and needs far more attention.
“Statistics panic people when they are seen as abnormal or subpar.” “We need better education so people can make the most of their time with their doctors and come to clinic well prepared,” says Naomi.
“At the time there was very little conversation about the topic and the whole thing was filled with shame and confusion.”
“Knowing that others were feeling the same way not only gave me the fuel I needed to heal myself, but also the drive to help change the conversation out there.”
Naomi has described the confusion and alienation that all women can feel during menopause, particularly as her symptoms began when she was 36 years old
“Since I launched Stripes a year ago, we’ve made amazing progress in breaking the taboo, advancing the conversation and reducing the stigma.”
“My wish is that my generation is able to end the silence and create a world where menopause is an accepted natural phase of life, which it is.”
My own menopause was unpleasant but, relatively speaking, textbook. For two years starting at age 49, I suffered from anxiety and insomnia, punctuated by just two (but severe) hot flashes, which led to a diagnosis of perimenopause and hormone replacement therapy (HRT), which I survive to this day.
But the whole thing, like Naomi’s menopause, opened my eyes to the fact that this whole experience had been swept under the rug like a family scandal. We didn’t talk about it or hear about it, so millions of women suffered needlessly.
Let’s banish the shame and confusion surrounding menopause
It was hard enough feeling like I was being grumpy with my husband and trying to hide the symptoms at work, but how much harder it is being overly famous and having his every move watched.
“It’s an interesting thing to go through something very personal and be exposed to the publicity that comes with my work,” says Naomi.
“Every personal challenge I go through seems to be amplified and given the world an opinion on it.”
“Remember, I was young for this transition and my friends seemed like they weren’t ready for these conversations.”
Perhaps the menopause campaign is a natural transition in our friendship. Naomi and I met many years ago at a dinner in London hosted by a mutual friend, stylist Anna Bingemann, and I immediately recognized a kindred spirit.
Since then, we’ve found ourselves in the same hotspots for both work and pleasure, from the Cannes Film Festival to West London to downtown New York.
In her opinion, premature menopause (before the age of 40), which one in 100 women experience, needs far more recognition
What stands out about Naomi is her down-to-earth nature, lack of vanity and lively sense of fun. She’s instantly inclusive (unlike so many in her movie star firmament) and she truly is the oft-quoted “woman’s wife” cliché.
When she called to ask about my book Cracking The Menopause and my campaign in this area, and then invited me to help consult on Stripes, I couldn’t have been happier.
Last year I was invited to a hotel in the Hamptons for a brainstorming session on this topic.
These days, we discovered even more similarities as we explored how menopause became such a vicious episode in women’s lives and how we can change this with positive messages.
Naomi and I both recognize the importance of women working together to achieve this goal.
“We are not meant to exist alone.” “We need our tribe, our trusted community, to help us increase our well-being and support us in good times and difficult times,” says Naomi.
It’s important to talk about this with the men and children in your life
“And we need those trusted advisors who we can be completely vulnerable with, but who can also provide a laugh because, let’s face it, a good laugh can be a much-needed breath of fresh air.”
“Everyone needs a sense of belonging.” Menopause has highlighted this more than any other moment in my life.”
Key to our friendship is also our shared focus on how we can work together to change attitudes.
Until recently, menopause was a dirty word. I first wrote about this in 2015, when I started taking hormone replacement therapy and realized the treatment was still considered fatal. Then I did a TV show about it in 2018.
The impact of this is still felt as women in toilets, at events and in my kitchen started whispering and later shouting their stories to me.
In 2021, my book was published and I spoke about menopause on television, radio and at book festivals.
Last year I took it a step further when Menopause Mandate was launched in the UK as a group of like-minded activists seeking to dismantle the armor of doom surrounding this transformative period of life. Now we’re taking this message to the States.
The Hollywood actress is known for her down-to-earth nature, lack of vanity and lively sense of fun
It’s exciting to see so many successful and prominent women now standing up and proudly declaring that they are menopausal!
After all, there are around 18 million women aged 40 and over in the UK. We – and politicians and organizations alike – are finally recognizing our power.
In the United States, millions more middle-aged women are experiencing menopause—and have similar concerns.
For example, a recent Washington Post article by Dr. Sharon Malone, one of our esteemed US menopause experts, points out that there are 55 million menopausal women there, nearly 75 percent of whom report receiving no support or treatment. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
Naomi and I have both worked hard for what we have achieved and we share the feeling that being able to make a difference in the lives of other women through our platform is a pleasure, not a chore.
I love her campaigning spirit and her fierce fighting spirit; Don’t let that tiny, elfin stature fool you, she’s a brawler when it comes to what she believes in.
But why did an actress and businesswoman with countless demands on her time agree to take part in “Menopause Mandate”?
“My menopause journey was long, confusing and lonely at times. But on the other hand, I feel stronger, more myself and more confident in my skin – even if it is still rather dry!’ says Naomi.
“I am passionate about raising awareness for women and encouraging honest conversations to ensure there is a community and a place for information to bring a sense of humanity to it all.”
“The goal of Menopause Mandate is to share education and support so that all women on every continent can feel heard, valued and empowered.”
I have also spoken passionately about my annoyance that female fertility is tied to perceptions of our usefulness.
As I approached 50, I noticed that I wasn’t being invited to present the same programs.
I felt like I should be grateful for my regular book show and wonder why, as I headed into middle age, I might want to take on more work rather than less.
Naomi’s campaign enthusiasm and fierce fighting spirit are evident as she champions causes she believes in
Naomi has taken the challenge of this stereotyping to the next level by publicly speaking out against the traditional female Hollywood timeline that takes women from extremely youthful roles almost directly to grandmothers, with little in between.
Proof of this is that, in addition to a thriving Hollywood career, she recently started a business, is passionate about campaigning, and got married (to actor Billy Crudup).
Naomi and I both have two teenage children and agree that everyone needs an education, not just women.
“Menopause affects over fifty percent of the population and indirectly everyone,” she says.
“It is important to have the conversation with the men in your life, your children and anyone affected, so that they can understand what changes are taking place, what treatments are being done, feel empathy for what we are going through and provide support.”
Interestingly, there is an overall expert consensus on HRT; that for the majority of women, the benefits outweigh the risks. But the most important thing is that we have access to all the information.
“There is no one-size-fits-all solution to perimenopausal symptoms,” emphasizes Naomi.
“Every woman has a different experience.” Hormone replacement therapy gave me much-needed relief from symptoms that made me feel like I was losing control and becoming someone I didn’t know.
“I think it’s important for women to have the information they need and a doctor they can trust so they can advocate for a plan that’s right for them.” “No two women are the same, no two solutions are the same.”
Naomi and I also talk happily and openly about previously squeamish topics.
I’m involved in a pelvic floor health campaign – Squeeze The Day – for Always Discreet, the hygiene brand; On the Stripes website, however, there is a “Vaginal Wellness” section that includes a moisturizing gel called “Vag of Honor” (most women experience symptoms of genitourinary syndrome during menopause, such as dryness and discomfort).
“It’s important to normalize any once-uncomfortable conversations,” she says.
“Women struggle with so much shame, anxiety, fear and confusion when it comes to our health.” We must break these taboos so women have the freedom to educate themselves.
Naomi has emerged from menopause more positive, confident and optimistic and is optimistic about the future
“We need to have difficult conversations, we need to do better for women and our children so they don’t have to start from scratch like we did.” “Women’s health in general needs more research.”
I can only agree. At the heart of Menopause Mandate – both in the UK and the US – are the stories of real women who have experienced menopausal symptoms that have forced them to quit their jobs, suffer relationship breakdowns and even develop suicidal thoughts.
All of this contradicts society’s belief that women in midlife are somehow inferior beings.
Naomi and I both emerged from menopause feeling more positive, confident and optimistic about the future, not to mention stronger. We know how lucky we are, but all women must be that lucky.
“When you come out the other end, you really regain yourself,” Naomi says. “You know what you like and what you don’t like.” You know what you want and what may no longer be worth holding on to. You are no longer afraid to ask for what you need.
“With this knowledge comes confidence and control over yourself again.” And that can be really powerful.
“We are the generation of changemakers.” We have shed light on fertility issues, normalizing breastfeeding and now midlife and menopause. We are not a generation that simply takes the cards we are given. We effect change. We have conversations. “Hopefully we’ll do better for the next generations after us.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
- For more information, visit menopausemandate.com or menopausemandateus.com.