Radio-Canada requires you to twist your tongue in your mouth seven times before speaking, but there is hope.
From the famous Jean-Marie Laurence to the incomprehensible Guy Bertrand, Radio-Canada has always had the luxury of an in-house linguist. Nevertheless, since the advent of the Woke revolution, the public broadcaster has suffered from a word disease that seems to be made worse by CEO Catherine Tait.
Whether in Montreal or Toronto, no one says a word anymore, knowing full well the consequences. The words have betrayed many. Think of star CBC anchor Wendy Mesley, who found herself on the streets for mentioning the title of Pierre Vallières' book, White Negroes of America. Not even on air, but during a simple production meeting.
There is also no question of saying one word louder than the other among colleagues. The presenter Pascale Nadeau was investigated for committing this unforgivable crime. She was suspended, the union filed a complaint, then dear Pascale had to retire. Whether you're right or not, the bottom line is not to say a word. One word too many and you're done! You are under investigation! In the air it can be fatal.
CRAZY BASTARD!
To weigh her words: the trailblazer is Anne-Marie Dussault. Because she has a lot of experience, she only speaks half words when the words she should say do not seem acceptable to her from the Canadian radio doxa. When President Joe Biden called Vladimir Putin a “son of a bitch” last week, she was suddenly at a loss for words.
All Quebecers know that the translation of this insult is “child of a bitch.” In another time, the Francophile Anne-Marie would have spontaneously translated with the Parisian expression “son of a bitch,” but today the word “whore” is macho and terribly phallocratic. Blushing beneath her makeup, her lips trembling and her voice dead, Anne-Marie ended up calling Putin a “crazy bastard.” Wow!
That same evening, presenter Céline Galipeau risked everything on the news. When we go to the front in Ukraine, we are not afraid of anything. Brave and without a bulletproof vest, she immediately translated Biden's insult as “child of a bitch.”
A NATIVE REMEDY
Last Tuesday it was Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau on the radio show Tout un matin who was afraid of words. Although she sometimes utters Cambrone's word in her role as a culture columnist, she has capitulated to “fuck,” a word she has to use in private as she always proudly flaunts her bilingualism. That morning, she and Patrick Masbourian unknowingly made an astonishing discovery. They replaced the word “Fuck” from Who the Fuck Did I Marry (title of the series that's all the rage on Tik Tok) with a Borborygmi borrowed directly from Katajjanik, the throat game from Nunavik folklore.
Once Guy Bertrand and his colleague at the English station train employees to practice this simple Inuit throat game, all CBC/Radio-Canada employees will finally be immune to language sickness. Who would have thought that Radio-Canada would be saved from this insidious evil by a humble (?) cultural columnist, and better yet, by an ancient indigenous tradition!