Malayalam actor Bhavana, who was kidnapped and sexually assaulted in 2017, in which actor Dilip is one of the accused, said on Sunday that the notion of sexual assault victims going public and voicing their experiences should be normalized.
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Speaking at We the Women Global Townhall 2020, a show hosted by journalist Barkha Dutt on her digital platform Mojo Story, Bhavana, when asked where she gets her courage from, said, “It makes me very angry and very sad (that sex offenders violence to be rehabilitated)… It’s not every day that I feel strong and ready to fight. For so many days I wanted to give up… We have to normalize the notion that a trauma survivor goes out in public and voices it. We have to normalize this as a society, normalize this courage.”
In February 2017, the actress was abducted and attacked by a group of men while driving from Thrissur to Kochi. The investigation led to Dilip, one of the biggest actors in the Malayalam industry, being named as a defendant.
On Sunday, Bhavana spoke about the trauma and allegations that followed days after the incident. “When it happened, my whole life turned upside down. My mind was constantly looking for someone or something to put the blame on. There was constant chaos in my head … Why did this happen? Why me?… So many questions…”
Speaking about the trial, which began in 2020 and is taking place in a special court in Kochi, she said, “When my trial (at the court) took place, I had to go to court for 15 days. It was a completely different, dramatic experience. On the 15th day of the trial, I left the court feeling like a survivor. I realized that I am a survivor, not a victim. I will stand up not only for myself, (but) for the dignity of all the girls who come after me. That’s when my mind convinced me that I was a survivor and not a victim.”
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Earlier this year, Bhavana shared a post on Instagram revealing her identity as a “survivor” of a sexual assault and the toll the incident took on her. “It has not been an easy journey. The path from sacrifice to survival. For 5 years, my name and my identity have been hidden under the weight of the attack inflicted on me… In order for justice to prevail, for the criminals to be punished and so that no one else goes through such a test, I will continue this journey. ,” she wrote.
Speaking on the show on Sunday, Bhavana said that while several people stood by her side after the attack, others blamed her and some even said she shouldn’t have driven so late at night. “There was also propaganda that I staged it and that it was fake… I was devastated… While I was trying to pick up the pieces, trying to get up and face life again, these things were pulling me down… It was painful and painful,” she said , adding that she faced a lot of abuse on social media.
But support also came from friends, family, the Women’s Film Collective (WCC), and even people in the film industry, she said. “After the incident, many people offered me jobs and insisted that I return (to work). Aashik Abu, Prithviraj, Jayasurya and others offered me a job, but I refused because I could not return to this industry and work as if nothing had happened. I wasn’t in that mood. I have worked in other language films. Now I have also started listening to Malayalam scripts,” she said.
Saying that she will fight to the end, Bhavana said, “I would prefer a strong fight without worrying about the outcome. It’s really amazing to see the support and love from my family, friends and viewers. I had to go to court for 15 days, sitting in court from morning to evening. … I tried to prove that I had done nothing wrong and that I was innocent.”
When asked what her main emotion is now – hope, rage, sadness or fear – Bhavana replied: “That’s it. I’m still scared… fighting for justice is never easy.”