Editor’s note: Dean Obeidallah, a former attorney, is host of SiriusXM Radio’s daily program “The Dean Obeidallah Show.” Follow him on Threads at www.threads.net/@deanobeidallah. The opinions expressed in this commentary are his own. Read more opinion at CNN.
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Matthew Perry – who died on Saturday at the age of 54 – was my favorite of “Friends.” His character Chandler Bing’s often sarcastic and self-deprecating one-liners really resonated with me.
Chandler used comedy as a defense mechanism to deal with insecurities and awkwardness, with lines like “Hi, I’m Chandler, I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable” and “I’m not particularly good at giving advice.” Interested in a sarcastic comment?”
“Friends” — starring Courteney Cox, Matt LeBlanc, David Schwimmer, Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow — was more than a TV show, it was a cultural marker that helped define a generation. “Friends” was the host of NBC’s “Must See TV” shows from the 1990s to the early 2000s, averaging 25 million viewers for each new episode.
(“Friends” was a Warner Bros. Television production, owned by CNN parent company Warner Bros. Discovery.)
The series’ final episode after its 10-year run in 2004 was watched by a massive audience of more than 52 million people – making it the fifth highest-rated series finale of all time, according to Variety. To illustrate, the top comedy show on television in the 2022-2023 season was CBS’ “Young Sheldon,” which averaged 9.3 million viewers per episode.
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Matthew Perry is best known for his role as Chandler Bing in Friends.
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Perry, pictured around 1985, developed an interest in acting after moving to Los Angeles as a teenager. He was born in Williamstown, Massachusetts, to an actor father and a journalist mother.
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Perry and Christina Applegate were cast in the 1988 TV teen film “Dance ’til Dawn.”
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Actress Martha Plimpton and Perry are seen at the Limelight nightclub in New York City circa 1988.
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Perry guest starred in a 1989 episode of Growing Pains. His character was injured in the episode, which discussed the dangers of driving under the influence.
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Perry starred in Friends alongside Matt LeBlanc, Lisa Kudrow, David Schwimmer, Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston. The first season aired in 1994.
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Perry appeared in the 1995 “Friends” episode “The One with the Bad Orthodontist.”
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The cast of “Friends” drinks milkshakes in an iconic promotional photo.
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Perry and Cox appear on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” in 1996.
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Perry stars opposite Salma Hayek in the 1997 romantic comedy “Fools Rush In.”
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The cast of “Friends” poses for a promotional photo in 1999.
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The sixth season of “Friends” aired in 1999.
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Perry and Cox appear in the 2000 “Friends” episode “The One With Rachel’s Assistant.”
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Michael Clarke Duncan attacks Perry in a scene from the 2000 film “The Whole Nine Yards.”
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Perry and Cox pose for a photo during the 2001 “Friends” episode “The One With Monica And Chandler’s Wedding.”
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Perry portrayed Joe Quincy in “The West Wing” in 2003, alongside Amy Stewart, Richard Schiff and Milo O’Shea.
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Perry and British actress Kelly Reilly perform a scene from the West End play Sexual Perversity in Chicago at the Comedy Theater in London in 2003.
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Perry competes in the 2003 Merv Griffin Beverly Hills Country Club Celebrity Tennis Classic. Growing up, Perry pursued his passion for tennis and became a top tennis player in Canada, where he lived with his mother after his parents separated.
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Perry prepares to make a statement as his Friends co-star LeBlanc presents the award he won for Favorite TV Comedy Series at the 2004 People’s Choice Awards.
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Perry made his directorial debut in a 2004 episode of Scrubs. Here he is seen in conversation with cinematographer John Inwood while actors Zach Braff (left) and John C. McGinley look on.
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Perry stars alongside Amanda Peet and Bruce Willis in the 2004 sequel The Whole Ten Yards.
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Perry attends a Screen Actors Guild rally in Los Angeles in 2007 in solidarity with the striking Writers Guild of America.
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Perry speaks on stage at the 2012 Primetime Emmy Awards. He has been nominated four times for the prestigious TV acting award.
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Perry throws out the ceremonial first pitch at a Los Angeles Dodgers game in 2012.
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Perry testifies before a House subcommittee about the need to fund drug courts in the Capitol in 2013. Perry, who spoke openly about his addiction problems, was an ambassador for the National Association of Drug Court Professionals.
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Perry and Lindsay Sloane appear behind the scenes in a 2014 episode of the CBS series “The Odd Couple.”
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Perry plays Ted Kennedy in the 2017 TV series The Kennedys After Camelot.
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The cast of “Friends” appeared on “The Late Late Show with James Corden” in 2021.
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Copies of Perry’s memoir “Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing” will be on display at a bookstore in 2022.
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Perry takes the stage for a conversation with editor Matt Brennan during the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books in Los Angeles in 2023.
Unfortunately, although “Friends” still brings many people joy in reruns, Perry couldn’t bring himself to watch the sitcom because it would cause him pain. While many laughed out loud at the antics of the “Friends” cast, the show reminded Perry of his dark days of drug and alcohol addiction.
As Perry told CBC during an interview in 2022, “I haven’t seen the show and haven’t watched it because I could say, ‘Drinking, opiates, drinking, cocaine.'” He added, “I could from season to season based on my appearance. … That’s why I don’t want to see it, because that’s what I see.”
Even though Perry didn’t want to relive that ordeal by watching the show, he wasn’t afraid to talk about his past alcohol and drug addictions to help others. In his 2022 book, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir, he focused not only on sharing his struggles but also on helping others stay sober.
Perry’s memoir begins with the following words: “Hello, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by a different name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.”
He continued: “I’m not writing all this so that anyone will feel sorry for me – I’m writing these words because they’re true.” I’m writing them because someone else might be confused knowing they need to stop drinking Should – like me, he has all the information and understands the consequences – but he still can’t stop drinking.” In support, he added: “You are not alone, my brothers and sisters.”
Perry recounted details of the nightmares that addiction caused him, including opioid abuse that led to a near-fatal ruptured colon at age 49. As a result, the actor was in a coma for two weeks and had to undergo 14 surgeries to help heal the damage.
Perry isn’t alone among those who bring joy to others while battling their own demons. Pete Davidson, the 29-year-old comedian and Saturday Night Live alum, has been open about his struggles and recently revealed that he just completed another stint in rehab, according to People magazine. And like the character Chandler, Davidson shared this information with self-deprecating wit, telling the audience at his stand-up show last month, “I’m fresh out of rehab, everyone.” “I got that glow after rehab,” adding, “The seventh time is the magic!”
Challenges are a part of life, but how you deal with them defines who you are. Perry understood this when he told People last year, “What surprises me most is my resilience,” adding, “The way I’m able to bounce back from all this torture and awfulness.”
In the outpouring of tributes to Perry, some touched on what he went through and exemplified. Actor Chad Lowe wrote on But he was brave in the fight and helped many people by going public with his struggles. He was loved by so many.”
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After “Friends” ended its run, Perry starred in numerous television projects, including “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,” “Go On,” “Mr. Sunshine” and a remake of Neil Simon’s “The Odd Couple.” But in the world of entertainment, Perry will always be remembered as Chandler Bing.
However, in the real world, he will be remembered as someone who shared his struggles, pain, and resilience to help others. After all, that’s what “Friends” does.