Patricia Paquin and Mathieu Gratton have been separated for many years and have decided to live their relationship in harmony. As parents of Benjamin, an atypical young adult, the ex-partners care about their son's happiness. Fifteen years after presenting us with their first show, the couple returns to the stage The EXseparables, a brand new and promising show they are writing together. Interview in a concise mode, like the upcoming show…
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Hugo B.-Lefort
Patricia and Mathieu, what do you have on your professional agenda?
Patricia: I'm on Rythme FM radio with Marie-Eve Janvier. And the funny thing is that Marie-Eve and I will at the same time share Joël (Legendre), who will direct Waitress, but also our show, Les EXséparables.
Matthew: I just finished filming my documentary with Benjamin. He went to an apartment alone for 30 days. It was an interesting experience. People will see all the problems he faced. This helps raise parents' awareness of the different realities of being a young autistic adult. I'm currently looking for a diffuser. P.: Benjamin works a lot, including at Chez Cheval. He has three jobs.
It won't be the first time we've seen you on stage together. What will you offer us? The EXseparables?
M.: It's a brand new show, 15 years later, that has nothing to do with the first. This time the two of us are doing stand-up comedy. Since it's been 15 years since we last appeared on stage together doing comedy, we're taking a look back at what's happened in our personal lives and also in society. This allows us to tease each other and discuss current topics.
Among other things, patchwork family and shared custody, I assume…
M.: Yes, but it will also be about the compatibility of work and family and visible minorities. We will conduct couples therapy for the people in the room.
P.: The first show was called “Les Ex” and was based on our previous life as a couple. This time the show is called The EXseparables. Mathieu and I have often been asked to give a conference to share experiences, simply because we are parents of an atypical young person. This is an exercise I didn't want to do. I couldn't imagine getting paid to share our experiences and chat with people. This time it will be a staged show and the showgirl will take the stage.
If I understand correctly, you will be going to shows all over Quebec?
P.: Unfortunately yes…
M.: We will not carpool. If we want the tour to last long, we can't overdo it! (laughs)
Hugo B.-Lefort
Ex-partners get along well, but in small doses?
M.: Effectively. And after the tour we will certainly expand our communication a bit. On the show, the tone between us is very disrespectful. We intend to address certain topics that we no longer actually have the right to discuss. We would like to expand a little on these less popular topics.
In order to advance this project, great complicity is required. Have you successfully navigated this delicate transition between love and friendship?
P.: Not really. Only before the public do we find out about our complicity. Otherwise we don't look for it.
M.: During this transition there was only one delicate passage. We went to mediation. The hardest part was convincing Patricia that she couldn't be the mediator! She controls. In my life I only have the positive aspect of this control. For example, I am convinced that she can do this well on tour too.
Was this transition after your breakup, when one of you had a partner, a strategic moment in your ex-relationship?
M.: Not at all, because I already had a blonde when I was with Patricia… Just kidding!
P.: That's not that many jokes…
M.: Well then! I was single for two more weeks! It never really bothered us. At my age I can laugh about it. Today I am more mature in relationships. Patricia got the worst of me, but I think I've gotten better with time.
P.: At least you know that! The truth is that time has passed, things have calmed down and become very clear. There are no ambiguities between us. Without Benjamin I wouldn't have really had contact with Mathieu. It was Benjamin who held us together.
M.: Our bond has grown over the years. She is natural. People who see us in real life might think we don't like each other, but our interactions are really nice. This is the rest of our love.
Whether you like it or not, you are a team for life. It's better to live this situation in harmony, right?
M.: Yes. And on stage we don't try to tell people we're perfect. I think it gives hope to couples who are separating. They see that it is possible to get along well, even to the point of going on a show tour together. For the sake of the children, we must avoid arguments. If we don't do it for ourselves, we have to do it for them because they are the big losers. Patricia and I put water in our wine for our child.
P.: I also believe it can give hope to couples who have just separated. You must know that time takes care of things…
Because for a couple, separation in itself is not a failure…
P.: In my case I would even say that a rebirth has occurred!
Mathieu, did the separation cause you a lot of grief?
P.: Mathieu has crowned his camp. We can't speak of sadness for him… It was a great relief!
M.: In the event of a breakup, even if we choose it, there is always a period of adjustment. Just because we decide to break up doesn't mean we no longer have feelings. Sometimes it's not because we don't love each other anymore, but because we're no longer in the same place. Among us is less about love and more about friendship.
Hugo B.-Lefort
How do your respective spouses feel about you touring together again for this show?
P.: Louis-François never stopped me from doing anything, whether I was going abroad or touring. He always encouraged me to do what I wanted. I'm on the radio and Mathieu just had a baby. We respect our pace.
M.: We don't plan to present four shows a week. My girlfriend is thrilled: she loves Patricia! If it were another one of my exes, things might not go so well, but Patricia is definitely the most reassuring ex there is. Patricia and I have several things in common. At 47 we both had our last child. It's never too late to do what you want to do. We enjoy life and have fun.
P.: You have to know how to put yourself in danger, challenge yourself and not stay on the narrow path that is already marked out both professionally and personally. I have a partner who allows me to do that. We can wake up one morning and say to ourselves that we want to turn right. And we're veering to the right, even though we've never talked about it. We have fun.
Does that sometimes get on your nerves? Do you sometimes feel the need to take a step back?
P.: We don't need to move away so much. We are physically far away, if only because Mathieu lives on the other side of Quebec. Luckily our son loves transportation! When he finds himself on a bus or train traveling miles, it makes him happy. If he has to drive three hours to his father's house, that's no problem for him. So no, we don't have to take a step back.
M.: Things happen naturally. When we don't feel like talking to each other, we write to each other. If we need to discuss something more important, we call each other. We don't get to the point where we get on each other's nerves. We choose our way of communicating based on the meaning of the message.
P.: If Mathieu gets on my nerves, I won't say anything…
Photo: Valerie Blum / Echos Ve
As a parent, are you proud of your son's positive development?
M.: We are proud of him because we never thought he would make it there. But we are also proud of the impact Benjamin can have on those around him. He went to Gémeaux with Patricia and I hear about it regularly. When I saw the ovation he got, I realized how important it was to have diverse people on screen. I felt the industry's recognition of these producers who dare to put someone with a disability or autistic person on the screen when possible. Benjamin doesn't realize how useful he is, but it makes me proud to see the impact he's having.
P.: I agree with Mathieu. I loved everything about being at Gemini with Benjamin. I saw how happy he was and how people in the community looked at him. As they passed him, people greeted him, from Marie-Mai to Véronic DiCaire. It was so hot! At the same time, I experienced my father's last days. I was in a whirlwind of emotions, but when we arrived at Place des Arts, we seized the moment. It's been a long time since I had such a magical evening!
Patricia Paquin and Mathieu Gratton will begin screening their show EXséparables in April 2024. The premiere takes place in September. Benjamin plays a role in the series STAT. You can follow him on his Facebook page Le monde de Benjamin. Patricia is on Rythme FM alongside Marie-Eve Janvier. She hosts the documentary L'été des mots, which will be shown on Télé-Québec in February. We can follow Patricia in “Get Me Out of Here!” in the winter on TVA. Mathieu continues to offer conferences on the topic of difference and is also working on a literary project.
• Also read: Benjamin Gratton announces his separation