A psychologist has revealed the eight “good girl” archetypes from pleaser to enabler in a post on Instagram.
Birmingham-based clinical psychologist Dr. Lalitaa Suglani took to social media to outline the concept of the Good Girl and share the various tropes.
In her contribution, Dr. Suglani, who has more than 130,000 followers, said the “good girl” syndrome applies to any gender.
The syndrome, which indicates that women are often raised to help or assist others, regularly to their own detriment, often has its origins in our childhood experiences.
In a caption to her post, the psychologist wrote: “As children, we learned that we must constantly appease the people around us in order to receive love and security.”
Do you fit into any of the “Good Girl” archetypes? The eight archetypes include the fallen one, the self-doubter and the conformist (archive image)
“We conformed to the expectations of our caregivers and prioritized their expectations over our own authentic selves.”
“This process effectively obscured our true nature and led to a form of self-abandonment.”
The 8 “Good Girl” Archetypes
1. The Fallen One
2. The perfectionist
3. The high flyer
4. The enabler
5. The self-doubt
6. The caretaker
7. The conformist
8. The obedient daughter
Source: Dr. Lalitaa Suglani
According to Dr. According to Suglani, many people then carry this programming into adulthood and throughout their lives.
She says this often makes them wonder “why they aren’t valued or cared for by others.”
In her Instagram post, the psychologist listed the 8 archetypes and gave a description of each one.
According to Dr. Suglani says The Pleaser is “very focused on winning approval and avoiding conflict.”
She says they “often go to great lengths to make others happy, and may suppress their own desires and feelings.”
Meanwhile, the Perfectionist type strives for flawlessness, although fear of making mistakes or disappointing others may be the reason for this.
Dr. Suglani added that “their pursuit of perfection can lead to high levels of stress and anxiety.”
She says The Over-Achiever is “driven by a strong desire to excel academically, professionally or in other areas of life.”
According to Dr. Suglani: “They may constantly seek validation through their achievements and may have self-esteem issues when they do not meet their own high standards.”
The next archetype she listed is the “enabler,” which she said “tends to support and accommodate the needs or behaviors of others, even when those behaviors are destructive or harmful.” To keep the peace, this type may enable unhealthy habits or relationships.
The self-doubter archetype is described as being “plagued by self-doubt,” meaning that they “may question their decisions and abilities.” To allay their doubts, they may constantly seek reassurance from others.
Meanwhile, the caretaker “is often characterized by his caring and nurturing character,” writes the psychologist.
She adds: “They place a high value on looking after the needs and well-being of others, sometimes at the expense of their own.”
Next, the conformist attempts to conform and conform to established norms and rules, perhaps even suppressing their individuality to ensure that they do not stand out or be criticized.
Finally, she listed “The Obedient Daughter” and wrote, “This character archetype is obedient and docile, following societal or family expectations without question. She may have difficulty asserting herself or making independent decisions.”
According to Dr. Suglani is able to overcome the limitations of these archetypes.
She writes: “Recognizing and understanding these patterns is a crucial step towards healing and liberation from societal expectations.”
“By fostering self-awareness and self-compassion and setting healthy boundaries, we can embark on a profound journey of self-discovery.”
“This journey allows us to reclaim our autonomy and prioritize our own well-being.”
The post was well received by many Instagram users, who took to the comments section to discuss which of the archetypes they believed they embodied – and revealed how they felt oppressed by these roles.
Many people commented on the post about the tropes they felt represented and how they felt stifled by these roles
One wrote: “So true! I’ve seen this “good girl” syndrome affect people of all genders, and it’s heartbreaking how we often sacrifice our true selves for the approval of others.”
Another added: “Only good behavior and excellent grades, otherwise punishment… that’s how it’s always been.” And well… it wasn’t for my own good as it got me nowhere. I’m just starting to wake up to my childhood trauma. Thank you for sharing!’
And a third wrote: “But as soon as you stop acting like the good girl, you’re abandoned and have absolutely no family or friends left. Like me.”
At the end of her contribution to the good girl syndrome, Dr. Suglani positive news.
She noted, “It’s important to remember that our worth depends not on how much we please others, but on our ability to authentically express our true selves.”