After 40 years of work, two renowned couples therapy scientists reveal the secret to getting back in touch with each other within a week.
How can you find harmony and passion with your partner over time? Experts give an impressive method based on 7 days only. John and Julie Gottman, Some renowned clinical psychologists and researchers are the authors of the book The seven day love recipe, the Bible of lovers who are running out of breath. In their work they reveal the most important steps to finding the butterflies from day one. A method that we would like to share with you. These romantic relationship experts remind us: through It is possible to poison a couple “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” :
- harsh criticism,
- humiliating contempt,
- the stubborn defense
- and silent disability
These attitudes undermine the foundation of the relationship and lead to a deep lack of respect and love. Here you need to know how to react to prevent the couple from falling into a catastrophe. But how ? For John and Julie Gottman, you must complete the following steps in the order listed (this is important):
Step 1 : Weave a “Love Card” or a process by which we explore each other to understand each other's development. “It's about asking the other person important questions in order to stay in touch with them and understand how they have changed or are changing,” they explain to Vanity Fair magazine.
2nd step: Express admiration and that respect towards the other. Sweet words, tender gestures and daily attentions allow us to rediscover passion and strengthen bonds. They add: “No one gets tired of hearing things like: You're so adorable, you know that?”
How do you feel about him?
Step 3: CommunicateWhen you respond to the needs of others with kindness and empathy, interactions improve significantly. This change in attitude can even enrich the complicity and the couple's intimate life.
Step 4: The sentence “positive or negative perspective”. It's about taking stock of the perception you have of your partner. “Answer honestly: Do you think positively about your partner most of the time? Or, on the contrary, do you think more negatively about him? Do you give him confidence in bad times or do you immediately draw negative conclusions? “points out the Gottman couple. The ability to analyze your behavior.
Step 5: Manage conflicts Avoiding the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” mentioned above. “This level also includes learning to have a conscious and sensitive dialogue about a negative past episode or argument so that the other person feels understood in their pain.”
Step 6: Be interested in each other's dreams. It is important to listen to them, welcome them and help the partner realize their ambitions.
Step 7: Create common sense. According to John and Julie Gottman, “This stage is about openly sharing with your partner the meaning and purpose of your life, while of course always listening to your partner.” The goal is not to have the same wants and needs, but to have each other to oppose those of the other and hold on to them.
In short, rekindling the fire in a week is not just utopian, it is a real possibility. By adopting these principles, your couple can rediscover the love of beginnings and beautiful moments of connection. Tempting, right?