As the various working members of the royal family swarmed across the country yesterday – the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in Wales, Princess Anne in Epsom, the Earl and Countess of Wessex in Belfast – the Duke and Duchess of Sussex celebrated their wedding Daughter Lilibet’s first birthday at Windsor.
Could they have hopped over to the castle to visit the queen? One can imagine that Her Majesty – who had never met her great-granddaughter until last week – would have been delighted.
Under normal circumstances it might have grown into an even bigger occasion, an opportunity for several generations of the family to come together and create memories, as she recently put it herself.
After all, the Queen isn’t the only relative Lilibet – or, for that matter, her older brother Archie – has barely met.
Uncles, aunts, cousins, their grandfather Prince Charles – they all remain virtual strangers to the Sussex children. Which is a shame because, as Prince Harry knows from his close friendship with his own cousins, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, family ties play a part.
Prince William and Kate, Duchess of Cambridge pictured leaving the Thanksgiving service at St Paul’s Cathedral yesterday
There is a shared experience that can be invaluable, especially when the going gets tough. It seems sad to deprive the little Sussexes of that.
But it wasn’t to be, at least not on this occasion. Although we don’t know for sure, it seems unlikely that Princes George and Charlotte attended Lilibet’s birthday as they were in Cardiff with their parents.
As for William and Kate themselves, there’s a distinct impression that they’d rather witness an envelope being opened on Mars than face Harry and Meghan face to face.
At least that’s the impression one got at St. Paul’s Cathedral on Friday, where not a single glance was exchanged between the two couples.
In fairness they were on opposite sides of the cathedral and arrived separately. But you’d never have known the brothers were even related, let alone that they were once close enough to finish each other’s sentences.
Prince Harry, pictured, presented a petrified face at the Thanksgiving service at St Paul’s Cathedral on Friday
The only thing they seemed to have in common was their stony expression.
If there was ever a time to bury the hatchet, it was this celebration of the Queen’s very special jubilee. After all, no one understands better than Her Majesty the need to sometimes put one’s feelings aside for the greater good.
It would have been a mature and meaningful gesture, a true tribute to their sacrifice. And yet they couldn’t even make it for her. Honestly, I wanted to smack both of their fat skulls together.
That being said, I still harbored a vague hope that it was protocol, not pride, that separated them at St. Paul’s. After all, it was a very formal setting and some things are much easier to get done in a more relaxed environment.
Last night’s Buckingham Palace concert, attended by rock royalty, could have been the perfect opportunity to clear the air in a more casual manner. A hug, a text together, a bit of bop—everything seems less serious when you’re having fun. But no. Not even that. Harry and Meghan have reportedly been hiding out at Frogmore Cottage (current cost per stay somewhere north of a week at The Ritz).
A cynic might say that the only reason the Sussexes showed up was to get Lilibet’s all-important snap with Lilibet and supercharge their royal status for Netflix.
However, it’s also clear that Prince William is in no mood for compromise. Maybe he knows something we don’t know. After all, Harry’s much-discussed memoir should be out this fall. It’s hard to think of any revelations more damning than the Oprah interview, but you never know.
And why should the Cambridges always be the ones to offer the olive branch, especially when they end up just being poked with it?
In any case, one thing is clear. Not even the Queen herself, with her remarkable ability to bring people from different backgrounds together, can bridge the current chasm between these two brothers. A sad footnote to an otherwise happy weekend.