Just days before the New Hampshire primary, Saturday Night Live returned with James Austin Johnson as Donald Trump. This time he spoke to the press from the New York courtroom, where he was attending one of several cases scheduled for 2024.
“2024 will be a very exciting year. I'm either going to go to prison, become president or, frankly, the purge,” Johnson said, as Trump said, an apparent reference to the film franchise in which every crime is legal for half a day of the year.
In fact, Trump is expected to be in the courtroom Monday, the day before the Granite State primary, as he attends E. Jean Carroll's second civil trial. Last year, a jury found Trump guilty of sexually abusing Carroll, and the latest trial is focused on determining damages.
The trial is just the start of a year in which Trump will spend much of his presidential campaign in court and several criminal cases remain pending, even as his lawyers try to postpone them. So far, Trump has taken advantage of the cameras' lack of access to court proceedings by making lengthy statements to the media right outside the courtrooms, essentially running much of his campaign for the nomination in the courtrooms.
“This is the election, folks,” said Johnson’s Trump. “That’s all – me screaming in the lobby of the courthouse, standing behind a barricade like a Guatemalan family at passenger pick-up from JFK.”
In the skit, Trump also enjoyed his victory in Iowa and chastised one of his rivals, Ron DeSantis, for his distant second-place finish. “He went to 99 counties, but the bitch couldn’t win one,” he said, giving the Florida governor the nickname “Ron DeStupid.” In reality, DeSantis canceled some appearances on the network's morning show scheduled for Sunday, raising speculation about a possible exit. However, his campaign says it was a scheduling issue before his return to New Hampshire.
Johnson's Trump then went to former rival Vivek Ramaswamy (“dropped out of the race and agreed to live in my suit pocket”) and current Nikki Haley (“She thought I was done – but I'm back in a big way. Me “I'm back like the Mean Girls.”)
The skit somewhat referenced Haley's line of attack against Trump today – that there are questions about whether he is mentally fit for office. At a rally on Friday evening, Trump mentioned Haley several times, although he actually meant Nancy Pelosi.
“I’m doing very well, cognitively I’m great,” Trump said in the skit. “I think I'm doing great. With Cognitive I am more cognitive than ever before.”
Johnson's impersonation is often spot-on, especially when he drifts into Trump stream-of-consciousness and non-sequels, particularly those about random young celebrities. (“Mean Girls. Where is Lacey Chabert? Left out of the remake. So sad.”)
Later in the skit, he referenced the taped footage of him dancing with Jeffrey Epstein. “Boy, that’s some dark energy,” he said.
But then he claimed that he “wouldn't be surprised if the footage was fake. Of course it's very real, but you have to think that in many ways it can't be.”
“We've seen a lot of success saying things that didn't happen,” Johnson's Trump said. “I think we will continue to do that. It is an innovation that I am particularly proud of. Seems to work very well. But I love this country and its traditions. That’s why I don’t hold debates and hardly any elections.”