Week 5 of the NFL season began with Justin Fields, Matt Eberflus and the Bears walking off the mat by dismantling the Washington Commanders at FedEx Field.
The Bears still have a lot of problems, but the offensive success they’ve had against two porous defenses leads me to believe they’re not as bad as the dumpster fire they seemed to be in the first three weeks.
Speaking of dumpster fires, the foul smell spreading across the East Coast is coming from Foxboro after the Saints rolled into Gillette Stadium and pissed off Bill Belichick and the Patriots. The former NFL kings followed a 38-3 loss to the Cowboys in Week 4 with a 34-0 loss to the Saints.
Welcome to the Caleb Williams New England Lottery.
Meanwhile, in the Bay Area, Brock Purdy and Kyle Shanahan spent three hours leading the Dallas Cowboys to a stunning victory for the NFL’s best team.
Brock Purdy is going to be MVP, right?
Here’s where each team stands after Week 5 action on Sunday
San Francisco 49ers (5-0): The Death Star in Santa Clara is fully operational. Kansas City Chiefs (4-1): Travis Kelce sprained his ankle on the artificial turf in Minnesota, causing an uproar among Swifties everywhere. If the Swifties get involved, there could be changes in the NFL. (Editor’s note: Kelce returned and scored a touchdown.) Philadelphia Eagles (5-0): Jalen Hurts has now won 11 road games in a row. What the Eagles do is travel. That won’t change as long as No. 1 is under center. Miami Dolphins (4-1): The Dolphins (Tyreek Hill, Devon Achane and Raheem Mostert) occupy the top seven spots on the list of fastest ball carriers in the NFL in 2023. The “Fins” only manage home runs. Detroit Lions (4-1): David Montgomery has already scored more touchdowns in more than 12 quarters as a Lion than he did in 16 games for the Bears last season. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-2): Trevor Lawrence and the Jags got their mojo back in London.Buffalo Bills (3-2): The Bills lost Tre’Davious White and Matt Milano in back-to-back weeks. Sometimes things just break against you.Dallas Cowboys (3-2): The Cowboys can still call themselves NFC contenders, but they’re not in the same galaxy as the 49ers. In my professional opinion, the Dallas Cowboys were handled by the 49ers on Sunday night. The Cowboys are deeply dubious. Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2): Joey Porter Jr., the No. 32 pick in the draft Baltimore Ravens (3-2): Lamar Jackson is now 1-3 in his career as a starter against the Steelers with four touchdowns, seven interceptions and five fumbles. Pittsburgh is his kryptonite. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-1): The Baker Mayfield from two years ago is back. Los Angeles Chargers (2-2): Did Brandon Staley make poor game management decisions during the bye week? It cannot be ruled out. Seattle Seahawks (3-1): Devon Witherspoon is the only rookie defensive back to record two sacks and a pick-six in the same game. Seahawks Twitter can call off impending civil war over passing on Jalen Carter. Witherspoon is a guy. Cleveland Browns (2-2): Cleveland’s defense can get the Browns into the playoffs, but they will need more from the $230 million man to go far in January. Indianapolis Colts (3-2): Can we please get more than two quarters of a healthy Anthony Richardson? New Orleans Saints (3-2): Given the Saints’ soft schedule, there’s a good chance they’ll be 8-3 come December, and we still have no idea if they’re any good.Cincinnati Bengals (2-3): Joe Burrows Wade is looking healthier and mediocrity in the AFC North has allowed the Bengals to stay alive. You should have cut off their heads when you had the chance.Atlanta Falcons (3-2): Desmond Ridder responded to the adversity with his best game as a pro. If this Desmond Ridder continues to emerge, the Falcons will be a threat in the NFC South.Los Angeles Rams (2-3): Sean McVay will have a lot of fun organizing games for Cooper Kupp, Puka Nacua and Tutu Atwell. As long as Matthew Stafford is healthy, the Rams will be a tough opponent. Green Bay Packers (2-2): Jordan Love’s completion rate (56.1) is a tick below the third-down conversion rate the Bears’ defense is allowing this season (56.5). I’m not sure who looks worse in this picture. (It is love.)New York Jets (2-3): Over the last two games, Zach Wilson has completed 72 percent of his passes for 444 yards, two touchdowns and just one interception. It’s not rocking the world, but it’s an improvement from three weeks ago. Small steps Houston Texans (2-3): CJ Stroud now holds the NFL record for most pass attempts without an interception to start a career. If only he had done better on the S2 cognition test, right?Tennessee Titans (2-3): The Titans are your clubhouse leader for the Jekyll-and-Hyde team of the year. A week later, they destroy the Bengals. Then they stumble over themselves against Gardner Minshew and the Colts. Yes. Minnesota Vikings (1-4): The Vikings have now lost four one-score games and are expecting star wide receiver Justin Jefferson to be sidelined with a hamstring injury. Sometimes things just don’t go in your favor. To be fair, everything was ruined for the Vikings last season.Chicago Bears (1-4): After three weeks of inexplicable nonsense on offense, the Bears have finally found their groove based on the novel concepts of letting DJ Moore run the football and letting Justin Fields do what he loves to do. How about that? Washington Commanders (2-3): Someone might want to tell Eric Bieniemy that Terry McLaurin is on his team. Just five goals against a depleted Bears secondary are malpractice.Las Vegas Raiders (1-3): Someone needs to get Hunter Renfrow away from Josh McDaniels as quickly as possible.Arizona Cardinals (1-4): The Cardinals are the perfect NFL “tank” team. They play hard, give their opponents hell for 45 minutes, and their lack of talent forces them to slack off. However, they have to watch out for Josh Dobbs. The journeyman quarterback is just good enough to ruin his draft slot. New York Giants (1-4): Daniel Jones was sacked 17 times in the last two games and left Sunday’s contest with an injury. It’s time to turn the lights off on the 2023 Giants. New England Patriots (1-4): The Patriots have lost their last two games by a combined score of 72-3. Honestly, it could have been worse.Denver Broncos (1-4): A loss against the “offseason champs” is a difficult task for Sean Payton.Carolina Panthers (0-5): Bryce Young could really use a guy like DJ Moore.Click here to follow the Under Center Podcast.
