Achieving success, no matter how comprehensive it may be, is a goal for most people. However, in addition to external factors, it is necessary to deal with thoughts and even involuntary sabotage behavior. The term “psychological avoidance,” coined by psychologist and Harvard professor Luana Marques, could be associated with those actions that go against our desires but seem inevitable.
According to the expert, psychological avoidance is an automatic reaction to unpleasant situations. “Psychological avoidance is akin to an ostrich burying its head in the sand, choosing ignorance over confrontation while a storm brews in the background,” he says in an article for the Washington Post.
The doctor of clinical psychology explains that this behavior becomes a kind of crutch to get through unpleasant situations. At first glance it seems to be a quick fix and relieves anxiety disorders, but in the future it can make these problems worse. She gives the example of a manager who decides to ignore the team's problems out of fear of confrontations that could harm the group's performance.
The psychologist also mentions some signs of psychological avoidance and how to deal with them.
React
Although at first glance reacting seems to be the opposite of avoidance behavior, the professional explains that reacting quickly is a way to resolve complaints without thinking about actions and thinking about the results. It's like reacting impulsively to a message to feel relieved, but without paying attention to the words.
In these cases, the first step is to pause for a moment and try to understand your own thoughts. “Challenge your thoughts, clear your eyes and ask yourself, 'Would I say that to my best friend in this scenario?'” says the psychology professor.
withdraw
Luana gives a work example: A person receives a promotion proposal, but the new position requires public speaking. Out of fear, the employee prefers to negotiate to remain in a lowerpaying position so as not to have to deal with the task. Taking a step back or avoiding situations such as difficult conversations does not solve the underlying problem and can increase anxiety.
Instead of withdrawing, the psychologist suggests dealing with your fears carefully. In the job offer example, one strategy is to find ways to overcome your fear of public speaking, such as by participating in discussion groups about something you enjoy.
Stagnate
The idea that something is “not so bad” often arises from fear of big changes, even if they might lead to improvements. Continuing in a job you don't like, in a relationship that doesn't work out, and in accommodating situations is also a form of psychological avoidance.
“In moments of intense fear, we tend to let our emotions rather than our values dictate our actions,” he emphasizes. To do this, it is necessary to balance expectations and understand what your priorities are. This way, you can take small steps toward those goals while understanding that changes are necessary to follow your values.