There’s been a lot of defecating in Johnny Depp’s ongoing $50M defamation lawsuit against Amber Heard in recent weeks.
Tonight, Saturday Night Live successfully threw some of its own against the wall to see what would stay open in the cold.
“I was very, very sad,” Kyle Mooney, with a beard and ponytail, said as a grinning dork on the witness stand when asked by attorney Aidy Bryant how he reacted to the discovery of “faecal matter in your bed.” Judge Penny Azcarte, played by a bespectacled Cecily Strong on SNL, heard frequent objections from actress Heidi Gardner as Heard’s lead attorney Elaine Bredehoft about the messy questioning and put the whole cold candid and the entire real-life trial into perspective.
“I’m letting it happen because it sounds like fun, and this trial is for fun,” exclaimed Strong’s Judge Azcarte, in what was one of the best shots of the moving star litigation and one of the best SNL openings almost over 47th season.
After a week-long hiatus, set to resume on May 16 in Virginia, Depp and Heard’s joint dirty laundry display has come back to the alleged 2016 incident that saw feces on the actor’s side of the duo’s bed in their DTLA pad was found.
Allegedly one of the last straws for Depp, the mugging was initially said by a Coachella-tied Heard to have been of the couple’s small dogs.
Depp associate Starling Jenkins II testified in court April 28 in the ongoing Old Dominion case that Heard informed him while driving to the Desert Music Festival that what Depp called in his own testimony was “human feces.” , acted “a terrible practical joke gone wrong.”
“We don’t need to see any of this, but we want to, so hush,” added Strong’s judge, with perfect timing from fictional security tapes.
“Mr. Dork, find this process amusing,” she said, referring to the actor’s behavior in and out of the stands over the past few weeks.
“So am I, you’re bad Captain Jack,” she responded with a shout out to the Blockbuster Pirates franchise and a wine glass raised to a “yes” from Mooney’s Dork.
Strong’s Azcarte viewed more footage from that surveillance camera of Depp security guards, portrayed by Kenan Thompson and Ego Nwodim, and spotted the stained bed: “I think I’ve seen enough.
This attempt gave me a lot to think about. On the one hand, I believe Mr. Depp’s story. But on the other hand, your constant little grin lets me know that this isn’t the first woman you’ve pissed off into pooping in your bed.”
Check out Depp’s “Full Nightmare” response and full skit here:
Unearthed surveillance of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial pic.twitter.com/DFdtE5uarV
– Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) May 15, 2022
Kicking off with SNL MVP Kate McKinnon as MSNBC host Nicole Wallace, who explained, “You watch MSNBC news because you have nowhere else to put your anger,” the chill shone for tonight’s episode of Selena Gomez with the Same old Beltway tropes it took way too long Then things shifted to the brilliantly termed “cuckoo trial” and declaration of “I’m glad I’m not!”.
Well, to pick up Heard’s alleged line, a “horrible hoax gone wrong” might be one way to describe the five-week and highly explicit Virginia process, regardless of whose camp you’re in.
However, away from the political material, which has sadly hobbled along in the cold of the NBC late-night open for most of this season, SNL’s jab at tonight’s Depp-Heard fight was pretty much a winner, all things considered .
The five-week trial in Virginia, which began on April 11, stems from Depp taking his ex-wife and Rum Diary co-star to court in March 2019 for a late 2018 Washington Post comment in which Heard wrote about, a “public figure who advocates domestic violence.”
While the article in Jeff Bezos’ own broadsheet never mentioned Depp by name, the Pirates of the Caribbean actor insisted the comment was about him and “devastated” his career, which cost him a lot of money for roles such as another potential role as Captain Jack Sparrow.
Though he didn’t say anything about the species during the couple’s very public and restraining order-filled divorce in 2016, the self-admitted, sometimes drug-abusing Dork also began claiming in 2019 that he was far from the perpetrator of domestic violence being the victim in his relationship with Heard.
Heard has failed to drop the case multiple times, and has actually sued Depp for $100 million. In late 2020, Depp spectacularly lost a UK libel case against Rupert Murdoch’s tabloid The Sun for calling the actor a “wife beater”.
His appeal attempts quickly fell flat, and it’s clear that the Fairfax County courtroom drama could be one last cheer for Depp if he doesn’t meet the admittedly high standard of defamation in the US.
Even with a legion of adoring fans online and in court, it doesn’t help Depp’s legal battle that he bluntly admitted he wouldn’t be interested in returning to the Pirates franchise if Disney gave him “$300 million and a million alpacas” like one said by Heard’s attorneys.
It also doesn’t do the fired Fantastic Beats actor any favors that Disney never seemed really interested in getting Depp back for a yet-to-be-made Pirates 6 after all that went down on the set and on set at 2017’s Dead Men Tell No Tales.
Heard was on her second day of testimony when the trial was suspended on May 5. When the trial resumes on Monday, the actress will face further interrogation by her own defense attorneys and then face what is expected to be harsh cross-examination by Depp’s team.
Which could mean even more cold candid material for SNL when Russian Doll’s Natasha Lyonne hosts the season finale on May 21.