SNL Cold Open mocks Trump’s visit to East Palestine as James Austin Johnson’s Donald says ‘Pete Buttigieg is too busy being gay’ and rants about Rihanna alongside new BFF Emily Kohrs, the new grand judge
- Fake Trump mocked Pete Buttigieg, Rihanna and Emily Kohrs
- He joked about handing out “cold McDonald’s” to residents of East Palestine
- Johnson also cracked that Joe Biden was “in Ukraine on spring break.”
Saturday Night Live taped former President Donald Trump’s visit to the East Palestine, Ohio, disaster during its cold opening this week.
The fake Trump, played by actor James Austin Johnson, gave a press conference in which he poked fun at Pete Buttigieg and eventually brought in Georgia grand jury foreman Emily Kohrs.
“Hello, it’s wonderful to be here in East Palestine… not a great name,” Johnson’s Trump opened, mispronouncing the city’s name to sound like the state of Palestine.
He then joked that incumbent President Joe Biden “was in Ukraine on spring break with his friend Zelensky in a t-shirt, very disrespectful.”
Johnson’s sinister Trump then recalled a chance meeting when “a farmer came up to me, big guy, and he said, ‘Sir, we don’t have anything to eat because our dirt is poison.” And I said, ‘Well, what do you eat the dirt Don’t eat the dirt, folks! You should eat that cold McDonald’s I bought you.”
Saturday Night Live taped former President Donald Trump’s visit to the East Palestine, Ohio, disaster during its cold opening this week
The impression usually mimics how Trump sometimes argues about celebrities. Describing the rivers in East Palestine as “colorful,” he named them “Fenty Beauty Water,” a nod to Rihanna’s clothing line.
“Rihanna, by the way, you know, she was pregnant at the Super Bowl, can you believe that? I said of course she doesn’t move at all, it was just her arms right? She only worked with guns the whole time.
He then turned his attention to Transport Secretary Pete Buttigieg, who was visiting eastern Palestine after Trump on Thursday.
“Unfortunately that was his responsibility, he was too busy being a nerd and being gay to concern himself with the much more important question of whether trains should have great poison.”
He then said he’d started calling the former South Bend mayor “Pete Butt,” adding, “There’s no getting around it, it’s just the best thing. Believe me, I’ve tried every way I can and it doesn’t get any better than Pete Butt.’
After a joke about making trains “less safe” and that he could do the whole town “Schitt’s Creek” in imitation of the sitcom Schitt’s Creek.
He then invited Chloe Fineman as controversial Georgia grand jury foreman Emily Kohrs.
“She’s a weird duck, but we like her. She’s either seven or 40, we can’t tell. And she has a very big secret for such a crazy woman,” Johnson’s Trump said.
‘She’s the chief judge, can you believe that? You chose her. They will choose anyone, I started that,” he added.
Fineman’s Kohrs declined to reveal whether Trump would be charged, but said, “We’ve said your name many times.”