Welcome to the Champions League debrief, where Jack Lang takes you through the key talking points – and things you may have missed – from Europe’s premier club competition. This morning he assesses the damage from Manchester United’s latest disaster, salutes Shakhtar Donetsk and celebrates AC Milan breathing life into the group of death…
Pity for Ten Hag?
Manchester United’s misery has become so all-encompassing and multi-faceted that it is difficult to find a suitable metaphor for it. A dumpster fire? If anything, this feels a little too reserved. Snowballs are too fast. No, we are now in the realm of the runaway train. Erik ten Hag is still on board, but the controls stopped working three or four explosions ago.
At this point, it’s probably worth making it clear: this isn’t going to be an absolute blast. This column has done it before and will no doubt do it again, but Wednesday’s loss to FC Copenhagen was no disaster compared to some of their other recent performances, at least as far as Ten Hag is concerned. Instead, it was proof that sometimes these things just have their own momentum, a kind of tragicomic internal acceleration.
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For 40 minutes United were – whisper it – very good. Zippered passports. Alejandro Garnacho and Marcus Rashford took the home defense into all sorts of strange shapes. Scott McTominay was romping around, full of great varsity energy. Champions League specialist Rasmus Hojlund scored two goals from close range and almost achieved a hat trick. It was the first time in a period when United could credibly be described as rampant.
Apparently it couldn’t last: Rashford was sent off and United, despite flouting the most basic tenets of game management, managed to concede two goals before half-time. But even then there was reason for hope. After the break they came out with renewed determination and seemed, albeit briefly, on the way to an away win that would have attracted enormous attention.
Is Ten Hag to blame for what happened next? His decision to withdraw Hojlund in the 84th minute was baffling, but stupid individual decisions were what really cost United.
Diogo Dalot could have chosen any of the other 22 hours of the day to sink into waking reverie, but he chose to do so at the exact moment the man he was supposed to be marking burst in behind him. Four minutes later, Raphael Varane tried…actually, unfortunately, I have no idea what he tried. A ball that should have been cleared ended up back at Copenhagen and ended up in Andre Onana’s net.
Ten Hag can be a frustrating character. His reputation among United fans has understandably declined in his second season as manager. It is up for debate whether he is the right man to take the club forward.
Here, though, it was hard not to feel a little compassion.
This wasn’t a tactical failure; For much of last night’s game, United were the better team. It was arguably their best performance so far in the 2023/24 Champions League. Yet here we are again, and the disaster indicator is rising towards 11 again.
That’s the problem with runaway trains. You can fiddle with the controls as much as you like, but the thing just keeps running.
United led 2-0 and 3-2 in Copenhagen but lost 4-3 (James Gill – Danehouse/Getty Images)
True courage
It’s fair to say that the names no longer stand out on Shakhtar Donetsk’s squad lists as they once did. The local loyalists are still there – literally, in Taras Stepanenko’s case – but the company’s cosmopolitan luster has long since faded. War puts a strain on a football club as well as a nation. The horizons are shrinking. What was once a playground for Brazilians is now something altogether darker. You don’t play there unless you’re willing to do things the hard way.
Shakhtar has been exiled from its hometown in the Donbass region since 2014 and the situation has become even more complex since Russia’s invasion of Ukraine last year. They now play their Champions League home games in the German city of Hamburg. You cannot fly directly to or from Ukraine, but must first travel by bus to an airport in Poland.
The nomadic life was forced upon them.
However, it didn’t dampen her spirit.
Shakhtar came from two goals down to win at Royal Antwerp in the second game week and pulled off another minor miracle on Tuesday by beating visitors Barcelona. The game’s only goal – a slow-motion header from Danylo Sikan at the end of a clever move – was a great moment, but it was the personality of the team’s performance that will long be remembered. Barcelona huffed and puffed, but rarely seemed to be able to prevail despite the lack of resources.
“The players were competitive the whole time,” said coach Marino Pusic. “That’s what I wanted to see: courage.”
Regardless of whether they make it to the next round or not, Shakhtar have already proven that they have that in spades.
Milan’s midfielder
Given that the first three Champions League games this season had yielded two points and exactly zero goals, AC Milan seemed to be on the safe side in the fight for promotion from Group F at home against Paris Saint-Germain.
It would be easy to gush over Olivier Giroud, who at 37 was still scoring big goals – and still looking like a matinee idol. However, the real stars of the show played a little further down the pitch than the French striker.
Yunus Musah, Tijjani Reijnders and Ruben Loftus-Cheek all put in excellent performances at San Siro. Their physicality and energy helped Milan win the midfield battle. Loftus-Cheek was particularly good, carrying the ball forward with that lovely, swinging stride and constantly asking questions to which PSG had no convincing answers.
With two games remaining, the four teams in this group – Newcastle and Borussia Dortmund are the others – are now separated by just three points.
Finally a death group that deserves the name.
Musah was one of Milan’s key players against PSG (Francesco Scaccianoce/Getty Images)
Everyone greets the goalkeeper
A day in the life of Harry Kane at FC Bayern Munich: Wake up, goals on toast for breakfast, nice big cup of hot goals, quick glance at Goal Times, bus ride to Goalsville, day spent selling goals at the local dealer, Back home for a quick game of goals with the kids, a bottle of French goals in the fridge. Nice. Same thing again tomorrow?
(Incidentally, Kane scored his 18th and 19th goals of the club season as Bayern beat Galatasaray 2-1 in Munich on Wednesday.)
Spotter’s Guide
Golden oldie: Two weeks ago, Porto defender Pepe became the oldest outfield player to ever play in the Champions League at 40 years and 241 days. On Tuesday he went one better, nodding in for his side’s late second goal in their win over Antwerp, becoming the competition’s oldest ever goalscorer. The strict diet of shinbones and fragile souls – deliciously roasted with garlic and a few sprigs of sage – that he followed during his long stint as Real Madrid’s house hatchetman had a real positive effect on his longevity.
Silver Lining Department: Newcastle were soundly beaten by Dortmund on Tuesday, but Tino Livramento’s performance was a consolation. The 20-year-old was his team’s best player on the right wing – not his regular position – and appeared completely unfazed by the experience of his Champions League debut. Livramento would have had an assist if Joelinton had been half as ruthless as he was endearing, but this was still a promising display.
Champions League match week 4 results
Group A
Bayern Munich 2-1 Galatasaray
Copenhagen 4-3 Manchester United
Group B
Arsenal 2-0 Sevilla
PSV Eindhoven 1-0 Lens
Group C
Naples – Union Berlin 1:1
Real Madrid 3-0 Braga
Group D
Real Sociedad – Benfica 3-1
Red Bull Salzburg 0-1 Inter Milan
Group E
Atlético Madrid – Celtic 6-0
Lazio Rome 1-0 Feyenoord
Group F
Borussia Dortmund 2-0 Newcastle
Milan 2-1 Paris Saint-Germain
Group G
Manchester City – Young Boys 3-0
Red Star Belgrade – RB Leipzig 1:2
Group H
Porto – Royal Antwerp 2-0
Shakhtar Donetsk 1-0 Barcelona
(Top photo: Getty Images)