An intimacy expert shares her ten sex tips to save your relationship and boost your libido — and it all starts with “communication.”
The clinical psychologist Dr. Britney Blair of Stanford University School of Medicine in the US claims that following her advice could improve your relationship in the long term and solve problems in the bedroom.
More advice from Dr. Blair on sexual wellbeing can be found on the Lover app, which bills itself as “a personal trainer for your sex life.”
Lover provides guidance through both audio and video content and provides exercise techniques for millions of people worldwide, taught by Dr. Blair with a team of sex medicine experts.
Along with two other co-founders, Jas Bagniewski and Nick Pendle, Dr. Blair the app and works as the chief science officer. She specializes in sexual health and is the founder of the largest group of independent sexual health clinics in Northern California.
The clinical psychologist Dr. Britney Blair from Stanford University School of Medicine shares her professional tips on how to improve sex and your relationships
LIEVERS co-founders (from left): Jas Bagniewski, Dr. Britney Blair and Nick Pendle
dr Blair drew on more than a decade of clinical experience to create these top ten sex tips that are key to keeping couples together.
communication
‘Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. You are not a mind reader and neither is your partner. Make communicating about your relationship and sex life a regular practice.
“If you want to talk about something vulnerable — say, something that’s not going so well or something you want more of — you should have that conversation while driving or on a hike. It’s easier to be vulnerable when you’re not making eye contact.
Be spontaneous with your partner
“Don’t wait until you want to. It’s normal for “spontaneous” desire/libido to dip after six to 12 months in a monogamous relationship for both men and women.
“However, by choosing to engage in erotic engagement with your partner, you can actually ‘jump start’ your sexual desire.”
Prioritize pleasure
“Release the pressure on sexual performance (eg, getting an erection or orgasm) and really focus on satisfying yourself and your partner…whatever that looks like to you!”
planning sex
“Clinical research suggests that having sex twice a week is associated with the highest relationship and life satisfaction. But life will get in the way.
“As unsexy as it may sound, taking the time to erotically connect with your partner will send the signal that you both prioritize this aspect of your relationship, it will build sexy anticipation and result in increased relationship satisfaction.” pay off.”
Focus on the attitude of gratitude
Too often in relationships we focus on what is not going well. Criticism can break your connection (and it’s definitely NOT sexy). Notice and then express your gratitude for the things your partner is doing for you or for the relationship. This expression must be sincere AND specific.
dr Blair says the key to a healthy relationship is communication – she advised that on sensitive topics it’s best to keep the conversation off-eye contact (stock image)
Cultivate independent hobbies and relationships
Cultivate hobbies, activities, and relationships outside of your partnership. A healthy level of independence is crucial to navigating a long-term relationship. Each partner differs in the desired closeness or distance, don’t take this personally!
navigate differences
“Every successful relationship depends on the couple’s ability to deal with differences. Communication and compromise are key, but both partners need to communicate and compromise. If it falls to one side, resentment can develop.”
Touch each other
‘Hold hands. Make out. Don’t fall into a touch pit! Do you have moments where you agree that you’re just going to make out and nothing sexual is ever going to happen again.
Spend quality time together
“Having quality time together…without sexual activity.
“Make sure you have undisturbed time together each week — no phones, TVs, kids, talks about work, talks about finances, critical talks. Even if it’s only 15 minutes.’
Create a sacred sanctuary in the bedroom
“Make sure your bedroom is a place associated with calm and desire. Think of lighting, textures and colors that encourage calm and sensuality. Think more soft music and candles and fewer pizza boxes, unpaid bills, doom scrolling and dirty laundry.
“Avoid arguing in the bedroom if at all possible. This space should be held sacred for sex or sleep.’
According to the intimacy expert, a key part of increasing desire in the bedroom is making it a place associated with rest