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Digital communication can be challenging, especially in the workplace.
A single incorrect choice of words or misplaced exclamation mark could affect the reception of your message and compromise your professionalism.
But the “biggest mistake” in workplace communication — and the one that’s hardest to recover from — is sending emotional emails, says Brandon Smith, a therapist and career coach called The Workplace Therapist.
“It’s a really, really hard skill to master—most people don’t correct it until they’re in their 30s or 40s—but you should never send an email when you’re feeling extremely emotional,” says Smith. “People treat email, Slacks or other online communication like a casual conversation you have in the hallway, and that’s not the case.”
Instead, the rule of thumb is to “send an email as if it could one day be read out in court,” he adds.
The next time you receive an email or online message that makes you angry, anxious, or even euphoric, do the following:
This approach satisfies the immediate need to let off emotional steam and express your emotions without damaging your reputation at work.
“If you have a strong emotional reaction to something, those emotions will inevitably come through in the message you type,” Smith says. “It’s much easier to spark a problem than to resolve it via email.”
When you respond, reread your draft as if you were the recipient: Is the message confusing? Are there any details that could be misinterpreted or that sound emotional?
If you’re still unsure of your answer, Smith recommends asking a colleague to read it again, as a second opinion can help you identify opportunities for improvement.
If it’s something that requires a quicker response, ask the other person if you can continue the conversation offline. Sometimes uncomfortable conversations are best had in person or on the phone, Smith says.
Research shows that phone calls are more effective at building emotional bonds: A 2021 study by researchers at the University of Texas at Austin and the University of Chicago found that voice-based communication (such as phone calls) creates stronger bonds than text-based communication ( e.g. email).
Or as Smith explains, “The conversation will be much more productive because you’ll be less inclined to be nasty or brutally honest with the other person when you’re face-to-face with them or listening to their voice” at the end of the line than you are about the text would be.
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