David Leitch’s action comedy Bullet Train, starring Brad Pitt, doesn’t hit UK theaters until Wednesday and US theaters until Friday, but critics aren’t exactly loving the “high-octane boredom.”
Many reviewers praised the 58-year-old Oscar winner, the fight sequences and the performances of Hiroyuki Sanada, Brian Tyree Henry and Aaron Taylor-Johnson – but not much else.
THR’s David Rooney called the two-hour flick set in Japan “soulless” and wrote that it was “so busy delivering brutal action with a smug wink that its contorted storyline and monotonous characters become very boring very quickly”.
Reviews are here! David Leitch’s action comedy ‘Bullet Train’, starring Brad Pitt (R), isn’t due out in UK theaters until Wednesday and US cinemas as late as Friday, but critics aren’t exactly loving the “high-octane boredom”.
Rooney added, “It’s disheartening to see so many capable actors being used so poorly… We don’t care who gets beaten to a pulp or shot to pieces because there aren’t any characters to stand in for – good ones.” or bad. ‘
Variety’s Peter Debruge called Bullet Train “a Kill Bill-esque blend of martial arts, manga, and influences from Gabby Hitman movies, minus the vision or wit that that implies.”
“It’s essentially a live-action cartoon with high-profile cameos interspersed for extra laughs,” Debruge noted.
“Stylistically, Leitch tries his best to channel the likes of Tarantino and Ritchie, although the dialogue and mock British accents aren’t anywhere near strong enough to merit such comparisons.”
Standouts: Many reviewers praised the 58-year-old Oscar winner, the fight sequences and the performances of Hiroyuki Sanada (pictured), Brian Tyree Henry and Aaron Taylor-Johnson — but not much else
“There aren’t any characters to cheer for”: THR’s David Rooney called the two-hour flick set in Japan “soulless,” writing that he was “so busy delivering violent action with a smug wink that his warped plot.” and one-note characters really get boring’
“It’s essentially a live-action cartoon”: Variety’s Peter Debruge called Bullet Train “a Kill Bill-esque blend of martial arts, manga, and Gabby Hitman movie influences, minus the vision or wit that implies”
The AV Club’s Todd Gilchrist detested the “unlikelihood” that staff and passengers would share the train with the killers, and the seemingly all-night span of the two-hour journey between Tokyo and Kyoto.
“Not only is this film bloated, boring, dark and superficial, it’s also redundant,” Gilchrist fumed.
What proves more offensive is the film’s clumsy attempt to bring seriousness to what should have been a cheeky summer distraction. It’s okay for a film about a bunch of rival killers to place no value on human life itself, and even happily indulge in that sort of nihilism, but the way the filmmakers instill a sense of pathos feels something like serious and meaningful like an airport gift shop souvenir before flying home from a far foreign country.’
Deadline’s Pete Hammond also called Bullet Train a “live-action cartoon” that felt “repetitive after a while.”
“It’s not only bloated, boring, moronic and superficial, it’s also redundant”: AV Club’s Todd Gilchrist detested the “unlikelihood” that staff and passengers would share the train with the hit men, and the length of the two-hour journey between Tokyo and Kyoto seemingly lasts all night
“None of the characters, including Pitts, remotely resemble a real human being”: Deadline’s Pete Hammond also called Bullet Train a “live-action cartoon” that “felt repetitive after a while.”
“It’s an airless affair”: The Wrap’s Alonso Duralde said the theatrical adaptation of Kōtarō Isaka’s 2010 novel Maria Beetle left “pretty much no cliché of this subgenre unturned”.
“I can’t say the thing is ever going to get off the rails because it was never on the rails to begin with,” Hammond wrote.
“It all seems like an attempt to attract an undemanding international audience with a well-chosen and brave cast that has something for everyone who wants to indulge in a mindless adventure. None of the characters, including Pitts, even remotely resemble a real human being, but they’re trying the old college.’
Alonso Duralde of The Wrap said the theatrical adaptation of Kōtarō Isaka’s 2010 novel Maria Beetle “pretty much leaves no cliche of this subgenre unturned”.
‘It’s a vacuum. Within the first 20 minutes it’s clear that this film operates in such a vacuum of smug artificiality that nothing that happens could matter,” wrote Durlade.
“Bullet Train isn’t a good movie”: IndieWire’s David Ehrlich gave it a C grade, calling it an “over the top story that feels like someone was typing ‘Guy Ritchie Anime’ into DALL-E 2”
“It can’t quite hide its lack of originality”: Screen Daily’s Tim Grierson called it a “confidently hip, lumbering locomotive” that “neither proves to be hilariously amoral nor liberatingly violent.”
“Crash and Burn”: The Daily Beast’s Nick Schager called Bullet Train “dead on arrival” and said it “more than slightly resembled Joe Carnahan’s 2006 fiasco Smokin’ Aces.”
“And rather than launching into the next level of snarkiness, Bullet Train builds into a place where we’re suddenly supposed to be concerned with at least some of these characters and their relationships to one another as the bodies pile up.”
IndieWire’s David Ehrlich gave Bullet Train a C grade, calling it an “over the top story that feels like someone was typing ‘Guy Ritchie Anime’ into DALL-E 2.”
“Bullet Train isn’t a good movie, but Pitt really seems to enjoy it,” Ehrlich wrote.
“And the energy he emanates from battling Bad Bunny over an explosive briefcase or styling his hair with a Japanese toilet blow dryer is somehow magnetic enough to convince us we’re having fun, too. Even if we usually aren’t.’
“It’s got a ticket for a ride”: On the other end was EW’s Leah Greenblatt, who gave the $90 million film a B+ grade and concluded that it “broadly represented the high-speed berserkism of its premise fulfilled”.
“Just a bunch of celebrities trying to kill each other”: Collider’s Ross Bonaime gave Bullet Train a B-grade, writing that “it enjoys the kind of caveman-brained pleasure” and “always barely on the right side of the… sled past stupid people”
Screen Daily’s Tim Grierson called it a “confidently hip, lumbering locomotive” that “neither proves to be hilariously amoral nor liberatingly violent.”
“But far too often director David Leitch indulges in a pseudo-Tarantino blend of offbeat violence and quirky character beats, leading to a level of strained irreverence that can’t quite hide his lack of originality,” Grierson noted.
The Daily Beast’s Nick Schager called Bullet Train “dead on arrival” and said it “more than slightly resembled Joe Carnahan’s 2006 fiasco Smokin’ Aces”.
“Unable to come up with a parable for his pitiful state, Pitt’s ladybug says bad luck follows him ‘like…something funny,'” wrote Schager.
“His failure to find an appropriate joke is inherent in Bullet’s Train, causing him to crash and burn long before he reaches his disappointing goal.”
On the other side was EW’s Leah Greenblatt, who gave the $90 million film a B+ grade, concluding that it “broadly lives up to the high-speed berserkism of its premise.”
“At 126 minutes, Bullet Train is maybe 20 minutes too long,” Greenblatt wrote.
“The film seems to be having too much fun to make its final stop on time, and too many tongue-in-cheek drop-ins from A-list action heroes to fit in… The bullet train doesn’t really have a goal, or moral imperative other than chaos . But it has one ticket per trip.”
And Collider’s Ross Bonaime gave Bullet Train a B-grade, writing that “it enjoys the kind of caveman-brain pleasure” and “always barely walks on the right side of the dumb.”
“It’s best if it’s just a bunch of celebrities trying to kill each other and having fun little chats in between,” Bonaime wrote.