The entire NBA All-Star Weekend is slowly becoming unwatchable. Very few people even know that the Rising Stars game is on Friday. Saturday's skills competition is killer, and a dunk contest that requires a G League influx to pump up enough gas to even get the night over the finish line tells you everything you need about this fan event need to know.
And this all happens before we get to Sunday's big game, which should be the headliner but is actually the most boring basketball performance you'll ever see from players of this caliber. If it wasn't my job to watch this game, I would have changed the channel within five minutes. I can't imagine that I'm alone in this feeling.
I get it. The NBA season is long enough, and this is supposed to be a week off. The players treat it as such, at least as much as they can, but still have to be there, do all the press and actually put on their boots for the game.
Still, it's a joke. The East won Sunday's “game” by a score of 211-186. The two teams combined for 168 3-point shots. There wasn't a single second of competition.
There were some cool moments. Damian Lillard — who won MVP for no other reason than he was the East player who chose to throw the most shots — laced up a pull-up half-courter. Tyrese Haliburton made five three-pointers in 92 seconds.
Whoo hoo.
I suppose there are a lot of fans out there who think that everything an NBA basketball player does is cool, but let me tell you, there's nothing cool, funny or entertaining about watching big guys do what they do Throwing basketballs at unguarded baskets. Save yourself the tired bounce pass alley-ups and warm-up 3-pointers. Karl-Anthony Towns scored the stupidest 50 points in basketball history.
The fact that the West only made 35% of its 3 Series is actually the most ridiculous part. It's boring enough watching guys make 3-pointers against a zero defense. Seeing them clinking all over the pitch is more like punishment.
It begs the question: What can the NBA do to solve its All-Star problem? Unfortunately, I don't think much. For most of Sunday night's game, my colleagues and I spent our time in a chat room, dreaming up magic pill alternatives to spice up the snooze game that was playing out in our background.
We came up with a 1-on-1 or 3-on-3 tournament, or perhaps each player only logging one quarter – similar to baseball all-stars who get one at-bat or one inning as pitchers instead asking everyone to commit to a full 48 minute game.
Here's the problem: you can play 1v1, 3v3, or 5v5, but if the players don't care enough to actually compete, the game will stink. The league tried the Elam ending, which I thought was a cool way to end the game, but by the second year no one took it seriously anymore.
I suggested bringing non-NBA dunkers for the dunk contest, but the NBA people would be too afraid of being shown up by a street hooper. Nobody wants to look stupid, and the only real way to avoid that is to compete hard. But nobody wants to do that either.
So what we're left with is a game played by the oldest unwritten rule of modern basketball: Nobody tries out in All-Star games. Nobody plays defense. Nobody gets hurt. And nobody wins. Not the West, not the East and certainly not the fans who are patronized by this apathetic product.
If the players were proud, they would give the fans who pay their salaries something worth tuning in to. But the league is soft now. In regular games, it's hard to get players to play on consecutive nights. Good luck getting them to work hard in an exhibition.
The right answer might be to eliminate All-Star Week altogether. Or just take part in the skill competitions and think of inventive ways to spice them up (Steph vs. Sabrina was a great start). Give credit to the All-Stars, but forget about the actual game. Build that extra week into the regular season and stretch the schedule enough to eliminate most, if not all, back-to-backs.
At least then we might be able to increase the regular season product, which is and should continue to be a priority for the league.
That means it doesn't happen. The NBA All-Star Game brings in too much money and goes nowhere. Next year we'll all be sitting here watching the same old game and talking about how stupid it is that no one tries or cares.
Not even gambling can make this thing fun. It's just like that. It is an unobservable product and, in my opinion, cannot be repaired. Unless these players suddenly decide to take on the responsibility they have as extremely well-paid entertainers and do their job for the fans who, as I said, pay their salaries.
Don't hold your breath.