Previously on Netflix Dating Trash, America agreed that Shake from Love is Blind Season 2 was a walking heap of garbage. During this season’s reunion special of Love Is Blind But These Red Flags Are Not, Nick and Vanessa Lachey announced a brand new series. Unlike Love is Blind, The Ultimatum focuses on couples who are already in a relationship. One person in the relationship is ready for marriage, but the other is reluctant to raise the question.
Six couples are brought together after one issues an ultimatum. For a week, the couples separate and start dating as a group for a chance to start a relationship with someone else. Once they begin this new relationship, they “simulate marriage” for three weeks and then return to their previous relationship for another three weeks of “simulated marriage.” Then? They decide who they want to marry.
Similar to Love is Blind, the episodes will air in blocks over a period of a few weeks. Honestly, even if you know how much a shitshow Love is Blind ended, you still aren’t prepared for just how insane this series is going to be. There are the parts you’ve come to expect from the trailer, like people realizing that coming onto a show where you’re encouraged to date other people might actually make your partner connect with someone else, but there are other parts that are SO messy it gets awkward to watch.
The most frustrating part is right in the first few episodes where Nick and Vanessa explain the show and later ask everyone how they feel after going through the first round of “the experience”. Most (if not all) dating reality shows arguably feel unnecessary, but The Ultimatum had me screaming, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
These couples haven’t been together that long
The first thing that caught my eye right off the bat is the amount of time these couples have been together. In hindsight, I’m not sure why I thought these would be long relationships? Maybe because that’s what comes to mind when you think of someone giving an ultimatum. “We’ve been together 10 years” or “15 years” or “20 years” — a significant amount of time that probably involves living together (I’ll get to that), maybe a joint bank account, and so on nature.
In The Ultimatum, the longest a couple has been together is 2 1/2 years. The shortest? A year and a half. That’s not a lot of time, especially when Nick and Vanessa reveal they were together for FIVE years before the topic of an ultimatum came up.
Not every issue is about “wondering what it’s like to be with someone else”
One of the things the Lacheys say is that the reason people are reluctant to commit is because they want to know what else is out there. How would life be with someone else? What’s interesting is that some of these couples have issues that have nothing to do with wanting to be with another person. There are a few “I want to see what’s out there before I commit” couples, but important issues like “She doesn’t want kids but he does” and “I want to get my finances in order” are also addressed .
To suggest that someone would question marriage because they want to explore how they want to be with other people is downplaying legitimate concerns — not that I expected anything out of the ordinary from the creators of Love is Blind.
What part of it simulates marriage?
The main part of the show consists of the couples going through the three-week marriage crash course, which boils down to having fun dates, meeting your partner’s loved ones, dating the rest of the cast to maximum uncomfortable feelings for your partner ‘ and living together. That’s all.
It’s absolutely amazing to me that many of these couples haven’t even lived together before deciding to go so far as to issue an ultimatum. How on earth did you come up with this right when you don’t even share the bills and the sink? There aren’t any big talks either, which one would expect in an alleged marriage. Do you earn enough together? How much space do you need to live once you are out of the apartment they provide you with? Any goals? Dreams? pets?
Okay, some have pets, but they’re just… on the scene. The end.
Oddly enough, Love is Blind did a better job of getting the couples to actually TALK about marriage. There were talks about finances, kids, where they would live after the show, even scenes where they REALLY got used to the idea of living with the person (shout out to Nick, who spotted Danielle’s costumes). The ultimatum is a lot of “I was ready to marry/I wasn’t ready to marry” but not many moments where they go through the motions despite supposedly “simulating” the marriage.
And if they get back together with their original partners? LOL! Theatre. Wall to wall drama.
All in all, The Ultimatum feels like watching a group of unrelated people make any kind of “marry me or else” statement after only dating for 18 to 30 months. Most of these couples are still in their twenties, don’t live together, and when asked “What do you like about your partner” the answer is “Can we skip this question?” The show is a train wreck, which I already knew, but I thought it would be a more entertaining train wreck. I wasn’t prepared for the fact that “we’ve been dating for two years and we don’t agree on having kids, the solution is to make each other jealous by meeting other people.”
(Image: Netflix)
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