The verdict on the Prince Harry book: Juicy, funny, resentful and sad

“Pandas are like kings,” Hilary Mantel wrote in 2013, “are expensive to maintain and illsuited to any modern setting. But they are interesting, aren’t they? Isn’t it nice to look at? Some find her endearing; others regret their precarious situation; but all eyes are on them, and no matter how airy the spaces they inhabit, they are still cages.

Now suppose one of these pandas decides to leave its cage in search of fresh bamboo. Thus begins the odyssey of Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, who is still technically Prince, Duke and fifth in line to the British throne, but has turned his back on the monarchy for the woman he loves. An oldfashioned gesture that puts you right next to your greatgranduncle Edward VIIIdespite his parable, which is so clearly related to the 21st Oprah Winfreywhich is going through a documentary series on Netflix and which is now peaking or rather gaining momentum with a new memoir, “Spare” (published under the title “What’s Left”in Brasil).

The original title, in case you’re wondering where it came from, is Harry’s childhood nickname. He was to be the “replacement” (substitute) of the “heir”, his elder brother, Wilhelm, who would later become the Prince of Wales. “I was the shadow,” he now writes, “the backup, plan B. I was brought into the world in case anything should happen to Willy.” And if you’ve ever doubted that’s a recipe for resentment, you will find here more than 400 pages to clear your doubts.

Copies of Prince Harry’s new book Spare are on display at a bookshop in London Photo: Kin Cheung/AP

Like Harry, the book is endearing, bitchy, funny, smug, selfdeprecating, longwinded, and confusing here and there. More questions will be answered about the prince’s penis than anyone ever thought. (He’s circumcised and almost froze to death at the North Pole.) And if you’re wondering who took Harry’s virginity, it was an elderly woman who was “very fond of horses and treated me like a young stallion: a fast gallop, then give me.” a slapped my butt and told me to graze”.

Cowritten and almost certainly enhanced with JR Moehringer, who helped Andre Agassi make his memoir so memorable, the book includes reallife behindthescenes anecdotes (the Queen emulsifies salad dressing, Charles does a headstand in his underwear) . .. and generous helpings of madness: the spirit of Princess Diana He manifests in various ways in a leopard in Botswana, a cat in Eton, a painting by Tyler Perry and even finds a way to derail the wedding plans Karl and Camilla. There is no doubt that his mother’s death in 1997 is still the primary wound in Harry’s 38yearold psyche, and the book’s most poignant passages show how the 12yearold struggles with grief under public scrutiny. He cried only once, at the grave, and never again. And he spent years holding on to the fantasy that it was just hidden.

Growing up, Harry became an inattentive student and recreational drug user, known in various circles as “the naughty kid” and “stupid”. (What was he thinking as he donned a Nazi uniform to a costume party? “Nothing.”) Two stints in military combat gave him some confidence before settling into the surreal lives of royalty — “that endless Truman show where I almost never had any money in my wallet, I never owned a car, I never carried my house keys in my pocket, I never bought anything online, I never got a box from Amazon, I almost never rode the subway.” None The relationship he forged has withstood the pressure of absolute scrutiny from tabloid “paparazzi” who follow his every turn. “Real glory,” he concluded, “was fancy captivity.”

And Meghan enters the picture as she should.

Princes William and Harry leave the service of thanksgiving for the life of Diana, Princess of Wales, at the Chapel of the Guards, London August 31, 2007 Photo: Lewis Whyld/AP

So far, the stations of this love are known to everyone who is interested: the encounter on Instagram, the romantic dinner, the week in the tent in Botswana. Alongside the sledgehammers Markle received from the British media, a toxic mix of racism and misogyny that Harry says has all too often gone unchallenged by Buckingham Palace. Which isn’t surprising, since palace officials were either focused on spreading stories or actively directing reporters to follow them up. “Dad’s office, Willy’s office,” Harry scolds, “supporting these fanatics or even working directly with them.”

“Dear son,” his father advised, “don’t read.” Which wasn’t an option for Harry, who said he was “undeniably addicted” to reading press reports about him, which enraged him. But when Harry decided to step down from his royal duties, anger hit back: according to a wellknown anecdote, William grabbed Harry by the collar and threw him to the ground. Without their royal permission and eventually without security agents, Harry and Meg traveled to Canada before settling in Canada USor, as Harry jokingly defines it, “the unknown land from whose borders no traveler ever returns”.

Britain’s Prince Harry and his wife Meghan wave as they ride in a carriage after their wedding ceremony at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle Photo: Damir Sagolj/Portal

So check out his current appearance: still gorgeous, parents of two beautiful children and also, as the author diplomatically admits, seeking “corporate partnerships” to “promote the causes we care about, the stories to tell, that we consider important. And to pay for our safety.” In a sadder tone: “I love my motherland, I love my family and I always will. I just wish I could count on both of them at the second darkest moment of my life.”

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Still, albeit in a perverse way, Harry can count on both of them and she on him. The brand that Harry and Meghan have so carefully cultivated is entirely dependent on the brand they so publicly discard. With every bit of palace scandal they feed the news cycle, the beast they despise. It’s never going to end, and luckily for the Windsors it can’t end because that would mean our interest in them has dried up. We can almost get nostalgic for the days when royals just poisoned each other or fought civil wars. At least they got rid of the negativity. / TRANSLATION BY GUILHERME RUSSO

* Louis Bayard is the author of “The Pale Blue Eye” and “Jackie & Me”