Photo courtesy of Simone Stolzoff
Simone Stolzoff spent much of his 20s looking for the perfect job, only to realize there wasn’t and never could be.
As Stolzoff recalls, he didn’t just want a job that would pay his bills — he longed for a “professional soulmate,” a 9am to 5pm job that uniquely reflected who he was: his ambitions , interests and the meaning of his life .
If this sounds like a known issue, that’s because it is. The Pew Research Center found that work is one of the most common sources of meaning in life for adults around the world, eclipsing faith and friends in some countries.
For white-collar workers in particular, our jobs have “become tantamount to a religious identity: in addition to a paycheck, they offer purpose, community, and purpose,” Stolzoff writes in his new book, The Good Enough Job. ”
Stolzoff put his earlier career dreams of becoming a diplomat, lawyer, or poet on hold to work as a journalist and designer in San Francisco. He wrote The Good Enough Job to answer a question he kept asking himself: “If we want to be happy, how do we emotionally detach from work?” When is she good enough?”
As part of his search, Stolzoff interviewed over 100 workers in Alaska between 2020 and 2023, including former Google engineers, celebrity chefs, burned-out teachers and kayak guides.
He found that the people who were happiest in their careers all had the same approach to work: They all had a strong sense of who they were when they were free.
One of the most popular questions you may hear when meeting someone is “What do you do?”
Many of us allow our work and career to overshadow other parts of our identity because that’s where we often spend most of our time.
But the more you invest in multiple identities, the less likely you are to lose “all your confidence” in your job, Stolzoff says.
According to Stolzoff, those who understood and practiced this belief were the happiest in their careers and had the healthiest relationships with work.
In The Good Enough Job, this concept is illustrated by different professionals at different points in their careers. There’s the Michelin-starred chef who found more joy and inspiration in cooking fun dinners for her roommates than working at a 5-star restaurant, and the political science professor who turns down lucrative speaking opportunities to pursue the Watching his sons football games.
Stolzoff cites research by psychologist Patricia Linville that found that people with a more sophisticated self-image — what she calls “greater “self-complexity”” — were less prone to stress-related illness and depression.
“We are more than just workers, and when we are able to cultivate more sides of ourselves, we are able to be more present in other important aspects of our lives and be more resilient in the face of adversity,” says Stolzoff. “If one identity fails, the others will keep you alive.”
Approach your self-worth like you would your stock portfolio, he adds. “Investors emphasize the importance of diversifying the stocks in your portfolio. Well, we also benefit from the diversification of what gives us purpose in life, whether it’s the joy we feel from being a more present parent or the excitement that comes from volunteering for a good cause .” that you are passionate about,” says Stolzoff.
Deprioritizing work can also help you be more productive, which in turn can make your work less stressful.
Previous research has shown that more rest during the workday and hobbies outside of work not only prevent burnout — it can also stimulate creativity, help you focus better, and make the time you spend on meetings and tasks more efficient .
It might feel “counterintuitive,” Stolzoff says, but “staying on top of things all the time doesn’t always result in the best work.”
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