I figured this was the season to be merry, not the season to sharpen your claws.
If you’ve perused the Instagram accounts of some of Australia’s most followed women at the moment, you’ll see that cat flights abound.
Whether it’s Abbie Chatfield calling out misogyny, Roxy trying to stay relevant, Laura Byrne jumping on the bandwagon, Em Rusciano clapping back at Meshel Laurie… it’s all on the gram.
Jana Hocking says the bitch-shaming feud between Abbie Chatfield and Brittany Hockley is a good thing and online boxing matches are a sign of bravery
Abbie, 27, hit out Tuesday after learning that Brittany, who fills in for Jackie ‘O’ Henderson on The Kyle and Jackie O Show, joked about her dating life during an interview with American rapper Yung Gravy
Listen, I’m not gonna lie, I’ll make popcorn and make sure I get a front row seat, ’cause I live for drama, live for drama.
But it wasn’t until I heard a group of men giggle about it, one of whom exclaimed, “everybody hates a woman like a woman,” I stopped and thought, “Wait… are we embarrassing ourselves here? Are we living up to the popular belief that women can’t get along? Are we really trying to put each other down all the time?’
Later that day, during a WhatsApp group chat, my friends and I analyzed the fight between Brittany and Abbie, and a friend said: “I just hate that there’s female vs. female. We shouldn’t be at each other’s throats’ and at first I agreed, but then I thought about it and they’re both wrong.
You see, never before have we seen so many fierce, strong women stand up for something they believe in and it’s better not to back down just yet.
While host Kyle Sandilands was the one to conduct the conversation, Abbie said Brittany was complicit in his “misogyny” by remaining silent
WHY ARE ABBIE CHATFIELD AND BRITTANY HOCKLEY OUT?
The couple’s falling out stems from a segment on The Kyle & Jackie O Show last month in which Brittany allegedly made disrespectful comments about Abbie’s love life.
Brittany apologized for her remarks during an interview with Yung Gravy, in which she joked about his plans to date Abbie, but The Masked Singer judge said it was insufficient and only showed her “internal misogyny”.
Abbie dismissed the excuse that mistakes were made on live radio and that she tried to limit her contributions during the interview once Abbie was mentioned.
The former Bachelor star also slammed Brittany for not taking a stand against her co-host Kyle Sandilands when he said Gravy had to “get in line” if he wanted to date Abbie.
“Live radio is difficult, but if I say something off the air, I text the person immediately. But you didn’t do that to show you weren’t ashamed after you did it. You didn’t realize the very clear issue until after I called you,” she wrote.
It brings misogyny to the fore, it calls for slut shame, it makes people reconsider their values. I’m certainly wondering if it’s time to update my beliefs. Should I really laugh in 2023 if a radio host makes a sexist joke?
When I first saw Abbie walk away after finding out she’d been slut-shamed in a public forum, I thought “sister preach” because bitch-shame is my absolute favorite hate.
When Brittany reevaluated the segment and was brave enough to publicly apologize and admit that she was wrong, I thought – yes, that’s how you take responsibility for the role you played in it.
Watching someone brave enough to grab it by the chin and speak up takes big women’s balls.
And while we may not be seeing the full impact right now, I believe good old-fashioned combat is actually therapeutic. Something is obviously brewing beneath the surface.
Whether it’s Abbie constantly being called a bitch for simply living her best life, or Laura being upset by the amount of hate directed at her best friend, they both have a right to express, and both make good arguments.
No joke, if you were accumulating points it would be hard to count.
While it feels like a tennis match at the moment with each camp throwing a fresh retort across the other side of the net, they are actually airing it all out. Bleed girl, bleed!
It’s one thing to say things behind someone’s back, but here are grown women outright saying, “Hey, I have a problem with you, and here’s why.”
In this case, while the man has mysteriously gone silent, the women speak up. I call it brave.
Also, the endorphins you get from hashing cannot be replaced. Earlier this year, I got into a verbal disagreement with a friend who I felt had been screwing me for months. I lost my composure completely.
There was swearing and foot stomping and a really good shouting match. I realized I had accumulated all this anger for so long and when it finally reached capacity I just had to let it all out.
Laura Byrne (right), who co-hosts the popular podcast Life Uncut with Brittany (left), called Abbie a hypocrite for denouncing her best friend’s alleged misogynistic behavior – only to find herself hosting a troubled new dating show just two days later to be announced later.
Jana says the feud brought misogyny to the fore, cried out slut shame and made people reconsider their values
Now I’m sure there are far better ways to express yourself than screaming “fuck yourself” but my god did I feel better after letting it all out.
It took a few weeks, but once we both calmed down, we were able to be open and honest about how we were feeling and sort out what was really going on. In fact, we had a great laugh about it. Was that funny back then? no Am I glad to have it all out? Yes.
So yes, our Instagram is a bit akin to a boxing match right now, but if it gets us to think deeper about the subtle ways we shame each other, or wonder if we might be holding on to some really old misogynistic undertones , then that can’t be bad, can it?
Fight girls, address anything that was clearly bothering you, and then walk away and think hard like I did. Did your opponent score some good points? Do we learn along the way? Are we allowing people to stuff and own their Oopsy Daisies? Wouldn’t it be nice to see this end in a hug and a white flag.
Here is hope.