The last few… oh, let’s say centuries have been difficult for ancient humanity. We had this virus, this other virus, a few more viruses. A few decades of unforgettable Simpsons episodes. Now a small number of people who have dedicated their lives to making things worse have successfully made everything so bad that we are probably on the way out, but there is still a blinding ball of light that… shows the way into the time that humanity still has left. A testament to all of our hubris, our brilliance, our stupidity, and our majesty, lighting up the desert like God’s golf ball stuck in a sand trap, but built by us and revered by us as the thing that finally made it possible for us to to surpass our Creator Look back with a big, ugly eyeball that stands 366 feet tall.
According to Patrick Stewart, this is Patrick Stewart’s biggest regret
So we’re talking about The Sphere in Las Vegas, which officially opened this weekend with the first show of U2’s “UV Warning Baby” residency – an event that was widely considered by the critics in attendance to be the greatest thing our species has ever experienced has completed. And why shouldn’t it be? Why should our legacy be anything other than death and these trunkless stone legs masquerading as a concert venue? At least that means we can go out with one hell of a spectacle. This is everything we ever wanted or needed.
U2 – With or Without You – Sphere – Las Vegas – September 29, 2023 (MULTICAM)
Rolling Stone called the first Sphere show a “quantum leap forward for concerts,” both in terms of the “ridiculous size” of the gigantic dome hall (which is basically just a giant screen wrapped around the inside of a bowl). also in view of the surprisingly good acoustics of the place. The Guardian said that U2 brought a “previously unimagined level of grandiosity” to the show, which is exactly the kind of flowery wording this thing requires.
The review, which gave the show five stars, even noted that it was so “stunning” that future rock bands performing at The Sphere might not even be able to live up to U2’s spectacle, no matter what new spectacle they come up with. Meanwhile, The Telegraph said this in another five-star article:
Imagine the best picture and sound you’ve ever seen or heard, combine it with CGI world-building that makes “Avatar” look quaint, add a few confusing illusions that would amaze David Copperfield, and then blow it all up with the fourth-wall-destroying passion that has driven the Irish rock band since their punky origins.
“The best picture and sound quality you’ve ever seen or heard” – not “at a rock concert,” not “in a bullet.” Always. It surpasses your child’s sweet laugh. She is superior to the cat who says “Good, hello” with an accent. It’s the best picture and sound quality you’ve ever seen and heard!
Where the streets have no name – U2 @ The Sphere, Las Vegas, September 29, 2023
Oh, and don’t think we’re the crazy ones for thinking about how this relates to humanity’s decline. Variety breaks down every moment of the entire saga in an exuberant piece, noting that one of the few sequences that actually takes the outside world into account (as opposed to a fantastical, artsy U2 dreamscape) shows the city surrounding The Sphere, as it is replaced by an endless world of desert, and it’s all apparently very exciting and overwhelming.
This all sounds like an exaggeration, but at a certain point can’t an exaggeration simply become accepted fact? If everyone who’s been in that dome thinks it’s the greatest thing ever built, who’s to say they’re not the sensible one and that everyone outside the sphere just doesn’t know how life-changing the thing is? And if that’s the case, then there really can’t be anything better that we could leave behind as a sign to a future civilization that says, “We were here and we built this fucking crazy thing.” It would just have been nice if there was would have been associated with a cooler band than U2…
U2 – The Fly – September 29th, 2023 – Sphere – Las Vegas